Madonna, me and Mary Beard

And it’s sort of good news.

Now that times are hard, it’s those of us of a certain age who are doing a bit better than the rest. True. We’re working longer but the good thing is that, unlike men, we’re more likely to find work when we want to or to set up in business on our own – whether it’s a £200m showbiz empire or yet another cupcake company.

The Madonna Generation is, it seems, adaptable and versatile.

That includes classics professor Mary Beard, currently getting a lot of flak for being 57 with grey hair and no make-up and daring to be on television. But as she cycles round Rome in her bright red jacket, cheerily telling us about the everyday lives of its humble ancient citizens, she is a joy to watch. A real person with real knowledge and enthusiasm that she wants to share.

A leading philosopher has also just decided that women have higher moral standards than men and that once we’re in our later 50s and early 60s we are at the peak of our intellectual and moral powers.

Madonna, me and Mary Beard.

Fantastic. Now I’m off to buy the shorts and fishnets...

Inspiring a generation - but which?

SO the Olympics motto is “Inspiring A Generation”. Let’s hope so. It would be wonderful if the Olympics really did inspire children to get off their bums, away from the computers and get running, jumping, swimming, or on their bikes.

On the other hand, the motto doesn’t specify which generation – and as recent research showed it’s the oldies who are more likely to take up a new sport, maybe they’re the ones who are going to be inspired.

We’ve got the Olympics and the Paralympics. Maybe it’s time for the Grown-Up Olympics too – if only for that Madonna Generation.

An age old problem

NOW here’s a problem for you… Because we’re all going to be so broke – as well as reasonably fit and healthy – we are probably going to have to work until we’re 77. Oh joy.

However, a solicitor who objected to being forced to retire at 65, has lost his case and has been told he has to stop work.

So much for anti-ageist legislation.

But if we need to work until we’re 77 and no one’s going to employ as after 65, has anyone any idea how we’re going to bridge this gap?

Watery save

OUR water rates were going to cost us nearly £1,000 a year. Gulp. It’s enough to make gin a cheap option.

Time for a water meter – especially as it’s now mostly just the two of us.

The men came, dug a few holes.

They couldn’t fit a meter. More men came, dug more holes. Nope. No meter. Ah well, we thought. That’s it. But no. Because we couldn’t have a meter when we asked for one, Yorkshire Water have instead put us on a different tariff – the average cost for two people with a meter.

Result? We’ve saved around £600 a year. What’s more, it was a proper chap with a proper Yorkshire accent who rang us from Bradford to tell us so. Sometimes, just sometimes, the system works and restores – for a while at least – our wobbly faith in officialdom.

Because I'm worth it

MORE than 160 council staff in the region are paid more than £100,000 a year. Some get more than £200,000 and the recently retired chief executive of Gateshead was earning a very-nicethank- you £252,838 a year.

Maybe they really are worth it.

Maybe they’re not.

I still say the problem is giving them fancy titles like chief executive.

You could pay them half as much when they didn’t have such elevated ideas.

What a clown!

RUSSELL BRAND turned up at a meeting of the House of Commons Home Affairs committee, where he was giving evidence on the subject of illegal drugs. He was wearing tattered jeans, a torn and holey vest, a cowboy hat and a manic grin.

Respect? Forget it. The man’s not a comedian, he’s a clown.

And a deeply unfunny one.

Obesity? No wonder

MORE than a quarter of a century ago when my sons were small, I was on a TV programme moaning about sweets at supermarket checkouts within grabbing distance of tiny hands.

I have a photo on my study wall of me and the boys being filmed in Morrisons, in Darlington.

All those years later, the toddler is 30 years old and 6ft 5in. The baby in the trolley seat, crying indignantly because I took the chocolate off him, is now a BBC planning editor.

And the Children’s Food Campaign is still complaining that most high street supermarkets are putting snacks and sweets next to the tills.

Forcing candy on babies and expecting parents to pay.

Meanwhile, in the supermarket aisles there are helpful signs above the breakfast cereals. One says “healthy” and the other says “children.”

Says it all, doesn’t it? And they wonder why our children are wobbling into an obesity epidemic.

A brilliant debut, Ali

HAVE just read – at last – the debut novel by former colleague Ali Lewis, above.

Everybody Jam is shortlisted for the Carnegie award for children’s books and I had to tell you because it’s brilliant.

It’s a book for teenagers, not for the faint-hearted or squeamish as it’s set in the Australian outback at cattle round-up time, where life is definitely not for softies. Especially if, like the 13-year-old narrator, your big brother’s died in a dreadful accident, your 14-year-old sister is pregnant by an aborigine and the ranch is in danger of going under because of the drought.

Amazingly, it’s often funny too.

Fingers crossed for Ali. And then when she’s incredibly famous I can boast grandly “I used to work with her...”

Backtrack

Dear Sharon,
I AM a divorced mother with two children, aged seven and nine, and I work full-time. I have just survived the Easter holidays with the help of my parents, my former parents-inlaw and using some of my precious holiday entitlement - which means less time off for the summer holidays and half term. When teachers complain that they can only go away in school holidays I’m afraid I feel no sympathy for them.

They’re not the only ones with stressful lives!

From a juggling mum (by email).

Hi Sharon,
THE highest civilian award for bravery is the George Cross.

For putting up with Charles this is the least that Camilla deserves.

Martin Birtle, by email