Our hero ‘Tupper’ has been giving us the benefit of his vast knowledge on subjects ranging from football to the internet, but once again, he doesn’t get it quite right!

I’m indebted to Peter Warrior who overheard this little classic in the Middle House.

Talk had turned to how Andrew Pattison (Landlord) now has two televisions on the go, both showing different channels and, the fact he had his lap-top on the bar to keep a check on the racing results. “How does all that work then?” asked one of the regulars. Before Andrew could reply, quick as a flash, Tupper says “It’s because he’s got one on that BROADWAY!”

Could this be something from BT that the rest of us don’t know about?

Last weekend and Tupper is in the club having a couple of pints with his nephew Jamie and Ben Parnaby.

“You have to admit it Tupper,” says Ben, “Papiss Cisse of Newcastle United IS the most in-form striker in THIS country at the moment!”

Tupper slowly shook his head and Ben and Jamie were waiting for our hapless hero to start exalting the virtues of the likes of Wayne Rooney.

“You’re DEFINATLY WRONG there!” says Tupper getting all animated. “LIONEL MESSI is better than him!”

Now it might just be me, but the last time I saw Messi play, IT WAS FOR BARCELONA!!

I was telling Tupper I was going to put his latest outbursts on the Northern Echo site; his reply… “You can put as many BLOBS on me as you like!”

Hero… absolute hero!