WITH apologies to David Graveney, Durham have never had a world-class spinner. But they certainly produced the sort of spin New Labour would be proud of this week in launching their bid to stage an Ashes Test in 2009.

It would have been a surprise had they not wished to host the Aussies, but by wheeling out the usual suspects like Brendan Foster to support an impressively orchestrated launch they have shown they are prepared to muscle in among the Big Six.

One of those - it was Headingley last summer, but never Lord's - has to stand down each year on the current rota. For another one to make way for Chester-le-Street is really going to create some waves.

There will be cries about the new kid on the block showing no gratitude to those who voted him into first-class cricket, but we all know shy boys get nothing and Durham's chairman, Clive Leach, is not given to hanging back.

I can't believe that Hampshire's Rosebowl ground is a serious competitor. It is breaking down the current cartel which is Durham's problem and it is interesting that the two most under threat, Headingley and Old Trafford, have announced big sponsorships this week.

Yorkshire's £500,000 three-year deal with the Bradford and Bingley Building Society comes hard on the heels of buying the ground, so we can expect big improvements there. And Lancashire have announced a six-figure deal with a marketing company and a brewery.

There has been talk of Lancashire relocating to Wigan, but it's no more likely to happen than Yorkshire's proposed flit to Wakefield a few years ago. Despite the excellence of its pitches, Old Trafford is felt to be the most vulnerable, but the Red Rose is not going to wilt readily under Durham's attack.

THE problem with cricket at Old Trafford is that a sell-out is not guaranteed, perhaps because Lancashire is such a hotbed of football. The North-East used to have a similar claim, but in terms of footballing success we're on the wrong side of the Pennines.

Apart from Manchester United and Liverpool, Lancashire boasts Bolton, Wigan, Manchester City, Blackburn and Everton locked together in upper mid-table in the Premiership. And who's to say Accrington Stanley won't be up there with them in a few years?

They're 13 points clear in the Conference after beating another Lancashire club, Morecambe, who went into the match in second place. Meanwhile Scarborough flounder near the bottom. Is global warming causing everything to tilt westwards?

WHEN Wembley Stadium was built in 1922 it cost £750,000, which means the new one is 1,000 times more expensive. The original was built in ten months; this one might yet take ten years. Yes, I've heard of inflation, but it strikes me this is a classic example of how we pay the price of ludicrous bureaucracy.

Now we must hang on to our riding hats as the whip is applied to those charged with the £200m refurbishment of Ascot racecourse. They are planning a rehearsal meeting on May 27 to make sure everything is shipshape for the big one on June 20. But don't be surprised if Royal Ascot again heads for York.

AS THE England cricketers run into injury and illness problems in India, it's hard to see what their potential replacements are gaining from taking advantage of cricket's sad decline in the West Indies.

Antigua collapsed from 101 without loss to 157 all out against England A, with Gareth Batty taking seven for 23. The Bradford-born Worcestershire off-spinner has been on the fringes of the England squad for several years without convincing anyone he has the potential to be a Test player, and such flattering figures against sub-standard opposition are not going to change that.

JONNY Wilkinson's latest setback surely means he won't play again this season. But what of his elder brother Mark? Aged 28, he has been on the Falcons' playing staff for three years but has made only one first team appearance from the bench this season.

It could be argued in the past that Jonny's grandmother should be on the staff if it helped to keep the World Cup hero at Kingston Park, but surely not any longer. There are always people willing to cry "nepotism," as hooker Matt Thompson, the club owner's son, will be aware, but at least he's a genuine No 2 to first-choice hooker Andy Long, with eight starts and 14 substitute appearances this season.

As for Jonny, he will have known for some time that his body is trying to tell him something. There have been many sportsmen who have enjoyed success after ignoring medical advice and Jonny will have to decide this summer whether it's all worth the future pain.

SO, Auntie Audley hasn't done the decent thing and retired after his gutless display against Danny Williams. He is to fight an American named Dominick Guinn in Rancho Mirage, California, on April 14. Mirage must be what Audley sees when he looks at himself, although when he has pocketed a nice fat cheque he can continue to lap up the California sunshine and contemplate his next delicate step through the crazy world of heavyweight boxing.

Published: 24/02/2006