Why to coo is to show we care

YOU don't know whether to laugh or weep. A hospital in Halifax has asked visitors not to coo over newborn babies, as it might invade their privacy and infringe their rights. Yes I know, I too had to check it wasn't April 1.

On the face of it, this is just a bit of wonky daftness. But it actually goes a lot further than that. Of course most mothers long to have their babies admired. We all know that we have the most beautiful baby in the world but it's always reassuring when everyone else agrees.

I still remember the delight with which I used to wheel a very new Senior Son down Northallerton High Street. It would take an age as so many people would stop to peer in the pram and admire him.

It was the most terrific morale booster. When you're suffering from sleep deprivation that would do torturers proud, when you're still finding walking a bit of a challenge (I'll just say "forceps" and leave it at that), when your whole world has suddenly been turned upside down, it does absolute wonders for the world to say that yes, it was well and truly worth it.

Actually, even before their babies are born, pregnant women are often public property. Hard bitten career women find business rivals suddenly quite caring towards them. Strangers pat your bump. The butcher - inexplicably thinking I needed fattening up - would slip an extra steak in with the meat.

And that is just as it should be.

For babies don't just belong to their parents, they belong to the wider world. They represent our future as much as that of their families. They represent hope and optimism and all those cheering things that might eventually make the world a better place.

And we all have a responsibility to children - not just ours, but everyone else's. That's why caring people ring social services or the NSPCC when things go wrong. It's why we look after babies left on doorsteps and support children's charities. We feel, however vaguely, involved and responsible.

We've already had too many mistakes which have led to the death of young children because people have been reluctant to interfere. We're already in danger of retreating too much into our own families and ignoring what goes on outside our little world.

It is one of the nicest parts of human nature to want to coo and fuss and admire a new baby. If we can't do that joyful thing then, frankly, there doesn't seem much hope for us.

And when we hear a baby scream in pain, do we close our ears and ignore it - to respect its right to privacy?

WOMEN are more superstitious than men, says a new survey by National Savings and Investment.

Being superstitious can make life awfully tricky at times so I offer my failsafe way of coping. It's simple - just believe in good luck omens and ignore the bad.

It makes life a lot nicer.

Waiters worth their salt

TOP chef Richard Corrigan says that the English make the world's worst waiters because they don't like being servants. How right he is.

Not just waiters - barmen, restaurateurs and hotel owners too. An amazing number of people in the so-called hospitality industry are the most inhospitable in the world. The idea of making people welcome, of looking after them, of giving them what they want and making them happy seems sadly alien to many of these people. Makes you wonder why on earth they went into the business in the first place.

("No you can't have your egg poached," we heard a hotel owner tell Americans in Scotland. "If we did that for you, everyone would want one." There were six of us staying there, four of us had already had our breakfasts.)

In too many hotels, bars and restaurants, management are interested only in taking your money, and staff in getting home early. The food might get to your table, but there is rarely a smile, a chat, any sort of contact. You might just as well be served by a machine.

The Italians, by contrast, seem determined that you have a nice time. Well OK, they prance around with the pepper mill, they flirt outrageously, but they turn the whole meal into a performance. The food might be great, might be ordinary, but you are cared for, flattered, made a fuss of. And you end up enjoying yourself, which is surely what it's all about. Hotel critic Paddy Burt said in the Telegraph at the weekend: "I love Italian waiters." So do I. Give me an Italian waiter any day - with or without his pepper pot.

Where the labels

tell white lies

TOPSHOP have admitted they've altered the fittings for their clothes - making them much more generous. A cunning move.

There's nothing like thinking you're a 16 and finding - miraculously - that you can fit into a 14. The bulges might still be there but, hey, you can't argue with a label, can you? Puts a spring in your step for the rest of the day.

By tweaking the sizes, Topshop have no doubt added immeasurably to the national happiness quotient.

Published: 28/09/2005