READERS will perhaps remember just one of the difficulties Mr Blair and his government faced in recent weeks.

It was the publication of the national crime figures which made the famous mantra "tough on crime, tough on the cause of crime" seem a mite silly.

It was, however, swiftly followed by the announcement that the government was not at all happy with anomalies in the way crime statistics were collected. The cynical might suggest the two events are inextricably linked.

But, readers of our report today of the goings-on at the Teesdale Crime Prevention Panel meeting might believe Mr Blair has a point about statistics, damn lies etc.

Insp Harvey Robson was giving a district-by-district account of recorded incidents in his patch and dwelt a little while on the situation at Middleton-in-Teesdale.

Recorded crime, thankfully on a downward trend, included some poor soul ringing up for the time. It was recorded as "an incident" but unfortunately it was not made clear by the inspector whether the officer obliged before recording the "incident".

Down river, the officer's log included an alert about a cow in the Tees. Insp Robson pointed out how such incidents distorted the figures but added: "We did get the cow out". We trust the beast's particulars were faithfully recorded.

What...where?

WE would have loved to have brought you details of the Northern Green Gathering 2000 - an opportunity to "learn about and experience the practicalities of environmentally friendly living" - to be held next week.

Our reporter, following up a press release on the subject, tried to establish where it would be but was told: "Oh, we never reveal the location in advance, details are on the ticket."

As the tickets are £35 a piece, Spectator suspects Northern Green Gathering 2000 maybe somewhat sparsely attended