After 45 years in the running, Ian Barnes has finally won his first international athletics vest - shortly after his 65th birthday.

"It's very satisfactory," he concedes, as only a legal man might. "It's not very often that an old age pensioner gets the chance to represent his country."

The Darlington Harrier flies the flag for England in a five nations cross country race in Dublin on November 18, after twice being age group reserve in the 10k event.

The following Monday the legal executive will be back in the office as usual - "some people can't wait for retirement because there's so much they want to do, I'm just happy to keep on working," he says.

National champion for the past four years in his age group 1500m - "it's called M60, sounds like a new motorway" - he's training 40 miles each week in preparation for the old course.

His chances almost nosedived, however, after contracting an illness on the return flight from watching the Olympics in Sydney.

"Apparently it's quite a common bug, something to do with the recycled air, but for a while it laid me so low I wondered if I'd make it.

"There are people who say I'm silly to do it anyway, but I'm not sure they're right. The secret is not to stop."

Ian, who lives in Darlington and has also run several times as a Liberal council candidate, must meet all his own expenses - the only "reward" the vest itself.

"It's entirely worth it after all these years," he says, and has even started giving advice to the younger Harriers.

"Stick in, I tell them, who knows where you might be in another 45 years."

Gordon Nicholson, known as the Ayatollah (and worse) in 24 years as Northern League secretary, is recovering in Dryburn Hospital, Durham, after a hip replacement operation. Pain relieved, word has it that he now plans to resume behind the wicket of his beloved Bishop Auckland Cricket Club and at 74 might lower the average age in the second team. We wish him swiftly back to his feet.

Somewhat unusually for the Darlington and District 5s and 3s League (Division D), there was a chap on Monday night quoting Oscar Wilde - he who first suggested that work was the curse of the drinking classes.

The man with the Wilde card was Alf Duffield - racehorse owning former chairman of Middlesbrough FC and millionaire businessman.

ITM Offshore, his Teesside-based company, began in 1976 with seven men and a few thousand quid. A decade later he employed 600 and had made millions.

A 1986 company profile attributed ITM's success to the chairman's "sheer hard work and genius". It was Oscar Wilde, of course, who told a New York customs officer that he had nothing to declare but his genius.

Alf sponsored Guisborough Town when they reached the 1980 FA Vase final at Wembley and named a horse called Guisborough Town in their honour. It was killed at Aintree.

In 1985 he stood to clear £700,000 - at the time the biggest single bet in William Hill's history - if Tacroy won the National, promising a proportion to Greenpeace, one of his favourite charities. It didn't, but Last Suspect at 50-1 provided a £43,000 saver.

Now, for altogether smaller stakes, he pushes the boat out for the Travellers Rest in Cockerton, known to team mates as Alf Ayed and wholly affable. (That he won by 26 points, however, was because he was playing nowt.)

We talked of all sorts. That most of it can't be reported is because there is etiquette, honour even, in Division D.

Suffice that Boro's purse strings are now rather looser than in Alf's 15 months in the chair, in the mid-80s. The club that in the past six years has spent £78m on players had an annual transfer budget of £200,000.

Born in a two-up, two-down in Manchester, Alf now lives in Ingleton, a few miles west of Darlington. At 64 he prefers the quiet life and has earned the Travellers Rest.

He is content, however, that the board meeting be acknowledged in print.

As Mr Wilde famously observed in The Picture of Dorian Gray, there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about at all.

Legion of Light, the magazine sent to Sunderland season ticket holders, has a piece headed "Playing for success in education" about the club being recognised as a Centre of Excellence for Education. "Study support is specifically aimed towards improving the literacy and numerousy skills of nine to 14-year-olds," it says. Joe Robson is distinctly unimpressed. "Perhaps," he writes from Witton Gilbert, "the staff ought to follow the course themselves."

From the Stepy's Coaches Durham and District Sunday League, the first issue of the relaunched League magazine - colourful, informative, beautifully produced - called Soccer, It's a Kick in the Grass.

Editor Peter Playle also recalls when his team, the Washington Arms, were due to play a Stanley and District Sunday League game at Tantobie but found two travellers' horses tethered in the middle of the field.

The first Tantobie official to ask for them to be removed had received a bloody nose for his effrontery; others, force of numbers, finally proved more persuasive.

Finally the match kicked off. Whenever the ball went near the travellers' caravan, however, an urchin would emerge, snatch the ball and return to the caravan's innermost confines.

Five balls later they called the polliss. The travellers agreed to return the footballs if the Tantobie official agreed not to press charges for actual bodily harm. The game ended three hours and ten minutes after it was due to kick off. Sunday best.

Not just an Arsenal supporter, sports minister Kate Hoey proves to be a boxing fan, too - "a keen advocate," she says.

The minister's attending a boxing dinner at Peterlee Leisure Centre on December 15, chiefly in aid of the National Association of Clubs for Young People.

"I strongly believe that as well as providing an exciting and demanding way of keeping fit, the sport is also an important developmental tool for young people," she says in a letter to Gus Robinson, helping promote the event.

"Her attitude's absolutely marvellous," says Gus. "It's a pity about being an Arsenal fan, but one out of two's not bad."

The NACTP has been guaranteed a minimum £4000 from the event, which will also help other charities. Four were invited to top up donations by selling tickets - gaining £10 for each one. Hartlepool Hospice manager Tony Collins has been most successful, the dinner already a sell-out.

Gus, a Hartlepool builder who holds both MBE and MBA - the latter a masters degree from Newcastle University for a dissertation called "Boxing, Business and Television" - has been helping charities through boxing for many years.

The column, alas, won't be able to swell the number of Arsenal fans at the Peterlee dinner, though our old Spennymoor Boxing Academy friends Paul Hodgson and Robert Ellis will be black tied to the table leg. Gus Robinson's looking out for them - "they'll be pinching my ideas as usual."

Spennymoor stage their own boxing show tonight, Frankie Fraser - another Arsenal addict - the guest of honour.

Tomorrow evening the former gangland enforcer - not so mad as he's institutionally prefixed - puts on his own show at Low Spennymoor workmen's club, with a tribute band called Bon Jordi.

Frankie likes going to Spennymoor. "He says it reminds him of the way the east end used to be. Now no-one even knows their neighbours," says Royce Carson, one of the organisers.

Though one or two Spennymoor folk have expressed reservations - "you wouldn't invite Jesse James or Billy the Kid and tell them to miss out the gory bits" says Royce - they're hoping for a good crowd.

Tickers are just a fiver from Royce on 01388 763432, or on the door.

Competition for the Backtrack sponsored Foot in Mouth award is hotting up among the lads of Darlington Greyhounds FC - Steve Kappel an early front runner among the barking. Steve turned up as usual for last Saturday's match - "I felt a bit rough this morning, that's why I'm not here," he said.

THE identity of the four Albany Northern League teams whose names begin and end with the same letter (Backtrack, November 7) caused many problems - not least, inexplicably, with Shotton Comrades. The others are Eppleton Colliery Welfare, South Shields and Northallerton Town.

The Greyhounds' programme seeks the identity of the player who scored Scotland's only goal in Euro 1996.

We go solo again next Tuesday.