CARTOON HERO: There's just no stopping children's TV favourite Bob the Builder. First he had a Christmas Number One, then he found himself the object of desire of five women, including his girlfriend's sister. Now he's set to hit the top of the charts again with his own cartoon version of Lou Bega's Mambo No.5. The lyrics will be changed to accommodate Bob's complicated love life and his job as Britain's favourite handyman.

But there'll be no resting on his laurels for our Bob - he'll be back in the recording studios very soon to record his next Christmas hit with another star. Believe it or not, Elton John is reported to have agreed to duet with Bob on a cover of Crocodile Rock. Having forged a relationship with hard-man Emenim, it looks like Elton wants to soften his image and so has turned to Bob for help. It looks like superstardom beckons!

SWEET DREAMS: A couple claim to have solved the dilemma that has caused many rows in marital beds across the country. A future brain surgeon and his wife have come up with a solution to stop the most accomplished duvet hogger in their tracks. Tim and Julia Blackburn have put everything they own into the Duvetpod which they claim will put paid to midnight battles to get control of the covers. The Duvetpod works by anchoring the duvet to the bottom sheet that covers the mattress. Ironically recently-qualified doctor, Tim, who is studying to be a surgeon, came up with the idea when he was in bed alone. His restless tossing and turning meant he kept finding the duvet on the floor. The invention is now being made by a company which specialises in bedlinen and could be on sale soon. So forget red roses or a box of chocolates to apologise to your better half - anchor your bed linen down and you'll avoid the row in the first place.

DIRTY WEEKENDS: Some things shouldn't be changed - strawberries should be served with cream, the Queen Vic should be open in Albert Square and music festivals should be a truly dirty experience. But a Danish designer is set to clean up outdoor festivals across the world.

The inventive mind has come up with a Body Wash which works and looks a lot like something you'd drive your car through. The idea is that muddy festival goers go into a changing tent and put their clothes on a water-proof conveyer-belt. They are then brushed, hosed and doused in water for four minutes before getting their clothing back. There is even the option of having hair conditioner and body lotion added to your wash.

The problem is most people going to festivals like the chance to let their hair down and forget about the daily routine. It may be unhygienic and a bit smelly but somehow it's all part of the experience. There's also the problem that the Body Wash doesn't deal with all those mud-caked sweaty clothes so however clean people get, they will still be wandering around in pants and socks they've been wearing all weekend.

BAD MOVE: What on earth is Geri Halliwell playing at? Having lost half her body weight she now seems to be losing her mind. At last weekend's Party in the Park concert she pranced about on stage in her underwear and then proceeded to be licked by a bevy of female dancers. Hardly appropriate behaviour in front of a audience which included lots of children and a certain HRH Prince Charles. With muscles that would put He-man to shame, Geri jiggled about singing three of her greatest hits.

She had three costume changes which involved her changing from a black to a pink leotard and then into her undies and nothing else. As for the licking female dancers - what exactly did they have to do with her single Scream If You Wanna Go Faster? Geri danced around with the girls looking like a poor man's Madonna as she tried to convey some bizarre bi-sexual image that just didn't work. Gimmicks are all well and good if you have some substance behind them - sadly all Geri has now is a flat stomach and a host of second-hand shock tactics.