WHILE farmer Colin Whitfield would not wish the nightmare of foot-and-mouth on anyone, he believes he is better off than many farmers who have kept their livestock.

Mr Whitfield, 45, was born on High Hedley Hope Farm, near Tow Law, County Durham, and was one of the first farms to be hit by the epidemic.

His nightmare began on March 22 and, four days later, his 700 cattle and 400 sheep were slaughtered and buried on the farm.

"I can't really explain how I felt," he said. "I was devastated, but my wife, Vivien, took it worse than I did. It changed us - things were not the same between us. It was just very stressful."

The couple barricaded themselves in on the farm for 12 weeks, for fear of spreading the disease to neighbours.

When they came out of their self-imposed "imprisonment", they felt like they were traitors.

"We thought we should not be here," said Mr Whitfield. "We went for a bar meal, but we did not stay to the end.

"We just came back to the farm because we were conscious we might be spreading the disease, even though we had the all-clear. It was a very strange feeling."

They should be getting sentinels - a trial of sheep to see how they get on - within the next ten days.

If all goes well, Mr Whitfield can stock up with sheep, although he will be cutting back on the number of cattle.

"Financially, we are better off than people who still have their stock, because we have had compensation, but I would not wish foot-and-mouth on anyone," he said.

"I think the government handled the whole thing badly, and I am worried about the future of farming, but I am determined to carry on, because I won't be beaten.