IT has been suggested that the new Darlington football ground could be called Porridge Stadium. This is partly because it will house the Quakers, but also has something to do with where the chairman was once housed.

No doubt this is a rumour put about by Hartlepool fans and they are getting to the point where they have something to crow about now the gap between the teams is down to two points.

The new Darlington manager, Tommy Taylor, had some harsh words to say after the 3-0 defeat at Shrewsbury: "Some of the players gave up too easily. I'm going to have a word with the chairman about moving some of them out."

There were echoes of Sir Alex Ferguson in this after Manchester United's 3-1 defeat at Anfield: "The aspect that concerns me is the workrate...maybe the players have been there too long...maybe the success has been taken for granted."

There are different degrees of success.

In the Quakers' eyes it seems to constitute a decent start to the season and as last year's slide is repeated it's good that they have someone in charge who won't tolerate quitters.

Darlington need a team to grace their new stadium, which will soon lose its initial appeal if it proves to be a stage for continuing mediocrity.

THE Porridge Stadium, of course, will be a mere aperitif compared with the full breakfast at Wembley - that's if the FA manage to scrape the egg off their faces and bring home the bacon.

A decision on this long-running farce was to be announced next week but, surprise surprise, this is now unlikely following this week's FA board meeting.

Their pickle, in a nutshell, is that some of them want to scrap the whole idea of a national stadium on the grounds of hugely escalating costs. But if they do that they will have to repay £120m of Lottery money they were given to start their Wembley project. Also the designers have been paid £11m and the FA cannot afford this sort of loss.

Taking England games around the country has been a big success.

But there are obvious attractions in having a 90,000-seat stadium when you consider that England v Greece at Old Trafford could have sold many more tickets than the 67,000 on offer.

Everyone north of Watford wants the stadium to be built in the Midlands. But the power brokers at the FA will not give up easily on their Wembley dream and I suspect the saga has a while longer to rumble yet.

STILL, at least the England team has moved on from the days when a fixture against tomorrow's opponents in Graham Taylor's time in charge was dubbed Swedes v Turnips.

The England rugby team are also in action tomorrow and Clive Woodward could be the one labelled "Turnip" if his bold selection comes a cropper.

Selecting Austin Healey on the wing and ex-Rugby League man Jason Robinson at full back is an exciting gamble to take against world champions Australia. If it succeeds the results could be spectacular; if it doesn't Clive's head will be on the block.

WITH only 45 shopping days to go, it's that time of year when books start to flood the market and those who put their names to them suddenly adopt a higher profile than usual.

They can't be blamed for that in an era when marketing is very much in vogue. But those of us who think most marketing is a load of hogwash cannot be blamed for resolving not to read any of these Christmas offerings.

Top of my list to avoid is Burchill on Beckham, which sounds like one of the most nauseating con tricks ever attempted in the world of publishing.

For some unfathomable reason Julie Burchill seems to think she has established such a reputation as an outspoken columnist that she can write about someone she has never met, who plies a trade about which she knows nothing.

Austin Healey has been very much in the public eye recently, and he has a book out. Ian Botham was twice on the radio a couple of weeks ago, and he has a book out.

"Botham's Century," as the latter is called, is at least an interesting concept as it deals with 100 people who have impressed Botham.

This includes a lot of cricketers, but also Nelson Mandela and Elton John.

Our first reaction might be to ask why do we want to read Botham's contribution to the Elton John Appreciation Society?

But on second thoughts the views of one who has pushed back life's frontiers on someone who has explored even greater extremes might by very interesting. I will explore further in the hope that it is not just a superficial and sycophantic synopsis of the man's music.

Oh dear, I'm starting to sound like Julie Burchill

Published: 09/11/2001