HAVE the makers of the Lord of the Rings film no heart? Just a few weeks ago, most of the nation's children were Harry Potter mad, writing begging letters to Santa Claus and pestering their parents to rush out and buy up all the expensive Potter merchandise they could lay their hands on before it sold out. Now, just SIX days before Christmas, the long-awaited Lord of the Rings is due to hit our cinema screens, just as its merchandising products hit the shops. And it looks as if countless children could be about to defect. "It's hotter than Potter," declared one review this week. Does this mean Harry could soon be out-of-date? Many critics predict Lord of the Rings will slaughter Harry Potter at the box office. Well, I'm rooting for Harry, if only because I've done all my Christmas shopping and Santa's far too busy.

CAN you imagine anything worse than waking up, feeling tired, weak and emotional, in your hospital bed after suffering the trauma of an ectopic pregnancy and being greeted by your in-laws? Well, I just have. Imagine your in-laws are called the Windsors. Poor Sophie has suffered enough. The last thing she needs now is for the Press and public to put pressure on the Queen, Prince Philip, Princess Anne and the rest of them to rush to her side for the sake of a few photocalls.

I AM not surprised the Blairs are featuring an attractive family photograph, taken outside 10 Downing Street on the day after this year's general election, on the front of their Christmas cards. As the mother of four children, I know how hard, and rare, it is to get a snap of everyone in one place, looking half decent, with all eyes open and nobody pulling a funny face. Leo, in his father's arms, looks particularly gorgeous. But I can't help wondering - does Tony ever let Cherie hold that baby?

I HAVE heard enough about Liz Hurley's "anguish" after being dumped by the alleged father of her unborn baby. Liz will not be the first woman to face raising a child on her own. If she lived off state benefits on a council estate, she would just have to get on with it. As it is, we are treated to daily Press bulletins about her bitter plight. I don't expect her baby will do too badly though. She is surrounded by supportive friends and family and, even if her multi-millionaire ex-boyfriend doesn't pay up, she has had enough fat cheques from Estee Lauder to keep the youngster in designer gear for the rest of his/her life. I think I'll save my sympathy for those single mums with little support, struggling to get by on a pittance.

IT was not a pretty sight - a slurring Christine Hamilton draped over filmmaker Louis Theroux on BBC2's documentary about her and her husband Neil. The 51-year-old wife of the disgraced former Tory MP explained, as she rested her hand on 31-year-old Theroux's knee: "One of the wonderful things about being happily married is that you can flirt outrageously." But wonderful for whom, exactly - Christine, her husband, or her terrified victim?