What's in a name? When it's Romeo Beckham, probably quite a lot. But his name - which actually sounds dashing and different and quite fun - is the least of the little lad's problems.

There he is, no bigger than a bag of potatoes, barely taken his first breath, and the weight of football's future is already weighing down his tiny shoulders.

William Hill is offering 250-1 on Romeo playing for England. Poor scrap.

What if he hates football? Much worse, what if he and his brother Brooklyn love it but are absolutely hopeless at it? By the time he toddles into his first playgroup, the world will be waiting for him to kick a ball like a genius. He will be expected to play for his school, his county, his country and probably score an England World Cup winner while still in his teens.

And he might well. He has good footballing genes.

But that doesn't always work. Many children of successful people end up doing something completely different from their parents. For every actor child of an actor father, there's another two or three who are accountants or nurses or librarians. Any acting urges they had were probably smothered if only to avoid inevitable comparisons. That's probably why Liam Botham opted for rugby rather than cricket - it's the one sport his dad didn't play.

There was a similar flurry of silly betting when Steffi Graf gave birth to her son by husband Andrre Agassi. A double dose of brilliant tennis genes means the lad's bound to be a Wimbledon champion one day. Well, not necessarily.

Children following in the family footsteps can have decent and respectable careers - but if they're not as high flying as their starry parents they're considered failures. Genius is hard to follow. Think of John Lennon's sons or Judy Garland's other daughter.

When little Romeo Beckham is old enough he can always change his name. Be Jack or Joe, Roger or Ron, if he wants. As for football - my bet is that his doting parents would be delighted if he turned out to be a brilliant footballer, but utterly unfusssed if he hated the game, as long as he was happy.

It's all the idiots putting their fivers on his future England place are the ones who are giving him too much to live up to.

A NEW survey says we are nervous, suspicious and uncaring. Amazingly, 80 per cent of women motorists say they would prefer to spend the night in a locked car rather than accept help from a stranger. Which is probably just as well as a large chunk of young people said they would never offer help in case the apparently distressed motorist was really a conman.

Has it really come to that? Well no, actually, it hasn't.

When Smaller Son stopped his car and collapsed in agony on the side of the A19 over jubilee weekend, a number of people instantly stopped to help. Three years ago when Senior Son was trapped upside down in a car near Northallerton, a woman driver stopped and held his hand and kept him calm and comforted until the firemen came to cut him free. He never managed to find out who she was to thank her properly, but he has never forgotten her.

Both boys said their experiences inspired them to offer help to anyone in similar circumstances.

And they're not alone. Every day on this paper we have letters from people who have reason to be grateful for the kindness of strangers.

Most people mean well most of the time. And if we refuse to believe that, then we are the ones who are making the world a more miserable suspicious place.

And if, next time you've broken down, a six foot five, shaven-headed giant comes shambling over to offer help - relax, it's just one of my babies.

ON the very first day of the new term, I had to slam on the brakes to avoid a mother blithely pulling out without looking after dropping her child off at school. There are yellow lines, brow of a hill and a blind bend, but what does that matter if it saves mother and child walking twenty yards. Meanwhile, across the country, roads outside schools are blocked, jammed and turned into death traps for children and passing motorists alike.

The Institute for Social and Economic Research has just said that our couch potato children now get less exercise than pensioners. Time to get them on their feet and doing something physical.

Many of them could start by walking to school.

CHECKS on teachers, dinner ladies, bus drivers and anyone who has the remotest connection with children are taking so long that many children are unable to start school full time in the new term.

Which raises two questions.

1.How many of those children will be involved in accidents or incidents when they would otherwise be in school?

2. Most murders and abuse of children takes place in the family. What checks are there on those who wish to be parents?

Meanwhile, 11-year-old Danielle Duval is to be the first child in Britain to be fitted with a microchip tracking device. Her parents will always know exactly where she is.

At the moment, Danielle says this makes her feel safe.

I wonder if she'll say the same in five years time when she's 16.

THE changing meanings of the English Language were neatly summed up in Senior Son's text message from Ibiza. "Weather hot. Everything cool."

Let the language pedants sort out that one.

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