Through the hospital keyhole

NO wonder the NHS is in trouble. As this long-running (or should that be never-ending) hospital series shows, staff are far too busy sorting out their love lives to treat patients. Occasionally, as in this episode, the two collide disastrously. "None of this would have happened if I'd just done my job," said Nurse Chrissie. It was difficult not to agree with her.

The patient was Jay, run over by his girlfriend after Chrissie informed her that Jay had raped her mother. This woman's husband was also in Holby following a heart attack. By the end the daughter was the only member of the family not in a hospital bed.

Chrissie, meanwhile, was in a store cupboard playing doctors and nurses with Ed. Perhaps it was her way of apologising for distracting him as he put a chest drain in a patient "I've put it in the wrong place," he said alarmingly (during the operation, not in the store cupboard) as Chrissie nattered on about continuing their affair.

Her partner, Owen the surgeon, was back home preparing a nice meal, complete with roses and candles, and preparing to pop the question. Not "where are my clean underpants?", but "will you marry me?".

Chrissie was not very responsive. "Hungry?," he asked. "No, I've just eaten," replied Chrissie, whom we'd seen make a three-course meal of Ed in the store cupboard.

Owen had had a bad day, following a bad evening the night before. He'd been on a lads' night out with Mubbs and Danny, when the entertainment included a £20 bet on who could pull (a girl, not a pint) first.

Mubbs won, a victory tainted when Gina, the women he'd slept with, turned up in a hospital bed the following day, with her boyfriend by her side. This was not only a surprise for Mubbs but for Gina, as he'd told her he was a pilot. The medics seemed confused by events.

"What's she doing here?," asked Mubbs. "This is a hospital, she's in a bed, what do you think she's doing here?," replied Owen. No wonder Gina declared she'd lost faith in the medical profession, and decided she didn't want a hysterectomy.

Now Owen has other things to worry about. Will Chrissie say, "yes". And to whom? And will it involve the store cupboard? Chrissie is too busy chasing Ed along the hospital corridors to decide on anything. He doesn't want an affair behind Owen's back, although doing it in front of his face would be rather unkind, don't you think?

"I really like you, but I can't go there," protested Ed, presumably not wanting another tryst in the store cupboard.