TONY Blair's 50th birthday yesterday came and went without gifting him his most wished-for present - weapons of mass destruction. Of course, Mr Blair's got plenty - with a button to press to fire them should he feel inclined.

Not contemplating that, at the moment he nevertheless wants to destroy a rogue state's WMDs. Trouble is, even after mounting an invasion with his ally and fellow WMD possessor George W. Bush, he can't find any. Do they exist? Mr Blair assures the world that they do. He gives the impression of holding irrefutable evidence.

But recently Mr Blair met a third holder of WMDs, the Russian President Vladimir Putin (right). Eager, some might say desperate, to persuade Mr Putin that he and Mr Bush had saved the world from a serious threat, he would no doubt share with Mr Putin his full knowledge of the rogue state's illegal possession of WMDs.

But then what happened? In Mr Blair's presence, Mr Putin joked about the alleged possession. Whatever Mr Blair had said hadn't convinced a man he likes to consider a friend as well as a fellow world leader. Where does that leave his case for attacking Iraq?

VAGUELY related topic: "We came in peace of all mankind." The exemplary sentiments left behind by the first men on the moon. But the other day on Radio 4, one of them, Buzz Aldrin, admitted that what drove the US moon mission was "the Cold War situation". So the moon plaque should read: "We Americans came to keep the Ruskies in their place."

GREAT excitement over the third-year return of the nesting ospreys in the Lake District. Having struggled last year to make out more than a vague white blob at the observation point above Bassenthwaite Lake, I passed up the opportunity during my Lake District break last week to try and do better this time.

Still, the return of these spectacular birds is rightly an event to celebrate. But where is a bird more closely associated with our summer - the cuckoo? Not once last week did my wife and I hear it. Nor have we yet heard it in our North Yorkshire village. Until two years ago, the call of the cuckoo was common in our locality. Last year I heard but two distant calls. And for several years I have failed to hear the cuckoo in countryside where it might be expected.

Some people hate the cuckoo for its chick-evicting habit. But all birds have a role, and a countryside in good heart will support them all. Most probably signalling a decline in its host species, which are chiefly the hedge sparrow, the meadow pipit and the reed warbler, the absence of the cuckoo from familiar haunts should set alarm bells ringing as loudly as those now heard across the land to greet the returning ospreys.

BACK to Tony Blair's birthday. Said to be not entirely elated at reaching his half century, our Prime Minister will, I hope, draw cheer from a comment by my wife: "He's got better looking as he's got older." Roll on 60, Tony. And 70.