IF we ever find any WMDs I suggest we use them to wipe football agents off the face of the earth. One or two of them might be decent chaps, but as a breed they are parasites interested only in lining their own pockets.

The two who have emerged from their murky world to be dazzled by the spotlights this week are Australian Bernie Mandic and Israeli Pini Zahavi. The former has brokered Harry Kewell's move from Leeds to Liverpool; the latter has acted as go-between in Chelski's attempts to lure Sven away from the England job.

It is typical agent-speak for Mandic to defend himself by going on the attack, accusing Leeds chairman, Prof John McKenzie, of "wild outrageous statements."

Whatever the financial facts of the case, there is no doubt Leeds are the losers here because Kewell and his agent had them over a barrel with the threat of staying for a year to benefit from a "Bosman" - in other words the same free transfer to which Lee Bowyer was entitled.

This all seems very unfair on Leeds, even if their troubles are mainly of their own making in that they vastly over-reached themselves in trying to build one of the best sides in Europe. The gamble showed signs of paying off until it was undermined by the damaging court case involving two players now with Newcastle.

It has been a slippery slope ever since and from the semi-finals of the Champions League two years ago I wouldn't be at all surprised if Leeds are relegated to Nationwide Division One next season.

It is said that the sale of Rio Ferdinand to Manchester United might be worth as much as £33m to Leeds one day, but that will be of little comfort when their last few prize assets are disappearing for a song.

Even if they received the full reported fee for Kewell of £7m - which clearly they won't because of all the cuts - it would be a snip compared with, say, the £25m Real Madrid paid for David Beckham.

The transfer market is imploding, and if Leeds boss Peter Reid wants to snap up a few bargains there must be a few available at the last club he sent spiralling towards Division One.

Ferdinand's moves from West Ham to Leeds then to Old Trafford were brokered by Zahavi, the man who introduced Sven to Chelsea's new owner Roman Abramovich.

It is said that Old Uncle Tom Cobeligh and all had a slice of the cake in Ferdinand's first move, yet Zahavi has become the agent favoured by Sir Alex Ferguson, who generally shares my impression of this unscrupulous breed.

No wonder there is no loyalty these days when it is in agents' interests for their clients to move. All they do is inflate costs in return for the sort mollycoddling which prevents footballers from becoming well-rounded people.

Now that the bubble has burst and football is having to look closely at its finances, clubs should take a united stand against agents and encourage players to stand on their own two feet.

I HAVE had an invitation to watch Gateshead Thunder on Sunday week, when they return to their base at the International Stadium to play Swinton Lions.

The laying of the stadium's new athletics track has taken rather longer than expected and did the Gateshead football team no favours when they had to play home games at South Shields and were relegated to UniBond Division One.

The Rugby League team play Hunslet Hawks on their third temporary ground, Percy Park at Tynemouth, this Sunday, while the relaid athletics track is staging the Super Grand Prix, in which Olympic 400m bronze medallist Katharine Merry makes her comeback after an 18-month injury lay-off.

Fortunately, Thunder have not suffered from loss of home advantage as much as the footballers.. After winning three games in two and a half seasons, and being threatened with extinction when their owner and main sponsor withdrew, they have won four games since April.

The invitation to watch them claims: "The continued existence of Thunder is an achievement and fielding a competitive team in a national league is a triumph." They would welcome your support.

Hartlepool fans should not get carried away by the prospect of signing Marco Gabbiadini at 35.

It is ironic that this should crop up in the same week as Peter Beardsley is linked with a return to Victoria Park in a coaching role and Gazza says he wants to play for Newcastle.

Gazza is more likely to be found in a clinic than on a football field in future, but even those players who have looked after themselves tend to find their legs going in their mid-30s.

Beardsley was a spent force by the time he finished his playing career, and the same could be true of Gabbiadini.

Published: 11/07/2003