Loose Women (ITV1)

IT'S a dirty job but someone's got to do it. I spent the morning with loose women, talking about bottom-pinching and office affairs.

The format of Loose Women, promoted from early afternoon to late morning to fill part of the gap left by This Morning, is simple - four females, a mix of presenters and actresses, sit around and chat with occasional interruptions from guest stars. Even the odd male is allowed a word from time to time. The girl talk is like a good, juicy gossip over a cup of coffee.

The participants don't take it, or themselves, too seriously with Coronation Street and Crossroads actress Sherrie Hewson being introduced as "a woman whose idea of safe sex is a padded headboard".

After hearing that it's now illegal to pinch a woman's bottom in Italy, the women debated whether this particular physical activity was a form of friendly banter or offensive?

There were differing opinions. Carol McGiffin was all for it, saying women should enjoy it or ignore it. Ex-Brookside actress Claire Sweeney thought it depended on the circumstances, recalling how Gazza had once slapped her bottom. "It hurt, and I slapped him back," she said.

Kaye Adams confessed that, in retrospect, she'd probably been sexually harassed at work in her early 20s. Her boss constantly made sexual suggestions, and even paid her £5 to eat a chocolate willy.

Then there were office affairs, a topic prompted by a company telling employees that they must inform the boss if they're playing around with a work colleague. I couldn't help wondering who you'd tell if you were having an affair with the boss.

Hannah Waterman, who plays Laura Beale in BBC1's EastEnders, told what happened after she started seeing co-star Ricky Groves (who plays Garry). It began on the set with him being "slightly unprofessional". This, we gathered, involved a slip of the tongue during a kissing scene. One of the others recalled simply biting the tongue of a co-star who couldn't keep it to himself during screen snogging.

Waterman and Groves managed to keep their romance secret for eight months, finally coming clean with the producer after talking about the implications and publicity that would result from their liaison becoming general knowledge.

McGiffin wasn't shy about going public when asked whose bottom she'd like to pinch. "Tony Blair's," she replied. Then added mischievously with accompanying hand gestures: "But I'd go a little bit further forward and scrunch them up, and wring them out." It brought tears to my eyes.

Published: 24/07/2003