IT will be intriguing to see if a blockbuster ever emerges from a group of enthusiastic writers who gather from all over Teesdale on Tuesday mornings to mull over storylines and read each other passages from their most recent efforts.

Some gripping plots were discussed when I sat in on one of their sessions in Witham Hall, where they receive valuable guidance and coaxing from Patricia Fawcett, a well-known dale author with nine published novels behind her.

Retired art teacher Ken Gorman told how his espionage thriller is coming along, and the others were anxious to hear about his latest story about a blood-curdling murder. Jean Smith, who specialises in fantasy, produced pages which she had already read to her grandson Miles, eight.

"If he enjoys a piece, I feel I'm on the right tack," she said.

Sue Francis explained the fresh love affairs and twists in her upcoming romantic novel after trying them on her husband Matt. "He's a good critic, firm but honest," she reported.

Bernard Haynes revealed that his book is partly about his experiences as a boy-soldier, while wife Nora is including memories of her years as a teacher in her volume.

They and the other authors agree the mutual support is helpful, encouraging them to keep on trying for a breakthrough. Perhaps there's an idea for a book here: one about writers who meet to discuss their work, then have torrid affairs, plan robberies, do a few slayings, link up with spies and enjoy trysts with aliens. Could it be a best seller?

You don't get much without paying these days, so a roadside sign at Gainford offering free horse manure is bound to catch the eye.

It was put up by Tom and Mary Stone, who have a stable with four horses close to the sign. Mary says they have only a small vegetable patch, so there is plenty of their mounts' rich output to give away. Spades and bags are available for callers wanting a takeaway.

With the grouse season looming, upper dale residents have been recalling famous faces seen around the moors over the years. One who got close attention was King Juan Carlos of Spain.

When he was a guest at Holwick Hall, I was invited there by the late Earl of Strathmore, father of the present earl. I took along a cheerful and able young reporter, Kevin Tuck, so we could take some pictures.

While Kevin parked the car, the earl introduced me to Carlos and ambled off to deal with someone else. I was left talking to the king, who was clearly underwhelmed by this honour. A tall, aloof man, he gazed down with disdain as he asked curt questions about the dale surroundings.

Then Kevin came bounding towards us, eager as ever and with his usual wide smile in place.

I told the monarch, "Sir, this is my colleague Kevin Tuck." Kevin shook the royal hand heartily and said, "Hi - what do you do round here?"

Kevin could have gone far on newspapers or TV but opted for a career in the police. He has gained rapid promotion and is now Inspector Tuck of the County Durham force.

A WOODLAND reader tells me he heard this exchange among a family group visiting the dale.

"Candice-Michelle, would you like some lovely raspberry ripple on your ice cream?"

"No." "No what?" "No way."

AN Eggleston resident recalls another of those old phrases not heard nowadays: "So and so was wandering about like a barefoot goose." It meant the person seemed to be in a bit of a daze and didn't know what to do next.

* By the time this appears in print I should be in France, visiting two battlefields which have a family connection and then lounging in the sun near the rich and famous, though not mingling with them. So the column will be missing for a couple of Fridays.