Cairns brings the sunshine

"It's been a long time between drinks," he said.

His father was the mighty Lance Cairns, a New Zealand cricket legend. Chris, as they say around Bishop Auckland, is the pot model of him.

On April 26 1980, Lance and family arrived in shorts and flip-flops to begin his first season as the Bishops' professional. Nine inches of snow, deep if neither crisp nor particularly even, had settled surreally on Kingsway.

"They went flip-flop-splodge as they walked," recalled Shirley Smurthwaite.

"The snow literally brought the house down, or at least the wooden hut where we kept some of our gear," said Harry, her husband.

Chris was ten, a bit blonder and less curly, and had never seen snow. They sent out for little yellow wellies for the bairns and welcomed them warmly to England.

After the May thaw, the young Cairns became the only Test all-rounder to St Anne's junior school in Bishop Auckland, drank copious blackcurrant and lemonade - known in those parts as Duckham's - in the cricket clubhouse, learned to disarm the bandit and left with happy memories.

The club had bought a house in Short Street, where Jean Brass baked cakes and things and neighbours included the Beardless Wonder.

The younger Cairns, respectfully brought up, still calls him Mr Hunt.

"We had to walk to school across a park that was full of dog poo," he recalled, and by "park" meant Cockton Hill rec.

"We played soccer and rounders, but no cricket even in summer and we had to wear black plimsolls, which I didn't understand.

"I don't remember too much about the lessons.

"All I really did at school was think about playing cricket for New Zealand."

(The school outside which the photograph is taken is the old St Anne's, next to the cricket ground, and not the new school he attended. The mistake is the column's alone: for local knowledge read parochial ignorance.)

George Romaines, Bishop Auckland's president, remembered a first team game at Thornaby where Chris, there to watch his father, begged to play in a kids' game on a corner of the field.

The others were 14 and 15 and insisted he field. Chris was 148 when George next completed a lap. "Mister," they begged, "can you take him home again."

Ten years later Chris, too, was playing for New Zealand, and even more successfully than his father - 197 Test match wickets so far, 2,853 runs at an average 32.79 and a formidable one day record.

On Tuesday he was with Notts at Durham, claimed just 1-52 from his nine overs and scored but a single but was still delighted to nip back down to Bishop. Knowing he was coming, Jean Brass had baked a cake.

Though he was not, of course, prodigal, they greeted him like the prodigal son. He was as genial and generous as his old man ever was and whatever he was drinking, it sure as lemons wasn't Duckham's.

"They were always a lovely family but maybe Chris is a little bit more cultured than his dad," said Harry Smurthwaite.

Lance, who took 130 Test wickets with an action most kindly termed unorthodox, wouldn't have argued. "He'll be a far better player than I ever was," he told the column in 1988.

"I inherited all his genes but fortunately not his bowling action," said Chris.

In his first season at Kingsway, Lance took 199 wickets at 8.21 and topped the Minor Counties bowling averages with 56 for Durham at 12.69. The following summer he bagged 153 at 9.08.

When he returned to Bishop Auckland in 1988, a paternal eye over a son newly signed for Nottinghamshire, he became the first North Yorkshire and South Durham League cricketer to take over 200 wickets in a season.

He and Chris were also the first father and son to play first class cricket in the same season.

Lance is now 53, almost completely deaf - "selective of hearing," said the lad, affectionately - and after a spell as a fruit farmer (kiwi fruit, inevitably) now helps run a small fudge factory owned by his son.

When he featured on This Is Your Life, Harry Smurthwaite and Bishops' colleague Keith Oldfield were flown to New Zealand to appear in the programme.

"He's a Kiwi icon and was received in the same vein in Bishop Auckland," said Chris.

"Sir Richard Hadlee was the cricket superstar in New Zealand, but dad was the folk hero and Bishop Auckland was his second home."

Chris also did a bit of a talk-in, reckoned I T Botham his all-time hero and Wasim Akram the best bowler he faced. Had he ever been approached to be Durham's overseas professional?

"No."

If he were approached, would he be interested?

"Yes."

Would he consider joining Bishop Auckland Cricket Club at the end of his career?

"It's hard enough following dad in New Zealand without following him in Bishop Auckland as well," said Chris.

"When I stop playing I'll go back and be a fudge packer, and again I'll just be like my dad."

* Tuesday's do was one of many marking Bishop Auckland Cricket Club's 150th anniversary. The next big one is when they entertain an Emmerdale XI on August 17 - start 1pm, admission £2 50.

As might be expected once the column had started to stir it, the other great imponderable at Bishop Auckland was the subject of "treacle" - and all hands to the syrup pump.

Billy Blenkiron, who went from the back streets of Newfield to success in the home dressing room at Edgbaston, recalled that in his post-war childhood "treacle" was the rule by which a batsman could neither score nor be out from the first ball.

"It didn't matter," said Bill mischievously, "I always got them with the second."

Shildon rules were different, as might be imagined. "Treacle", said Keith Hopper, was having to stand with your bat upside down in front of the wicket after a disputed dismissal, so that the bowler might have a semi-free shy.

By whatever name, however, "treacle" seems officially to have been adopted by the old Mid-Durham Senior League.

Keith, now 70 and still in Bishops' second team, was a 14-year-old with Shildon LNER. League rules, he insists, were that the first ball of the innings was always a "sighter", a sort of no scoring no-ball.

"The umpire would always call 'One down' after the first ball. I can still hear them doing it."

Bill Blenkiron's incredulous, Keith Hopper insistent it's not just a Senior moment. Was the Mid-Durham really a league for molassey lads? Further memories welcomed.

After Somerset's lamentable second innings opening against Durham last Friday - one run, four wickets - we recalled that India had once been 0-4 in their second innings against England but couldn't remember much else.

Malcolm Conway was there - "Headingley, early 1950s, I'd guess." It was June 7 1952, and a young RAF national serviceman called Fred Trueman bagged three of the four on his debut. Alec Bedser took the other.

"It was one of the most amazing pieces of Test cricket," said the Echo.

India recovered to 26-5 and 131-6 before closing on 161 all out. F S Trueman was to take another 304 Test wickets.

The same day, we reported, Darlington and Workington were re-elected to the Third Division (North), the Football League reiterated its total opposition to any form of television, and in the Mid-Durham Senior League, Lands were skittled for 12 by Witton-le-Wear.

Whether they first played treacle, we have not been able to discover.

Malcolm Dawes, whose lengthy football career embraced Aldershot, Hartlepool, Workington and New York Cosmos - with Pele - has been on about his other love, cricket.

Malcolm coaches Sedgefield under 13s, southern section winners of the Durham County Junior League and playing northern section winners Langley Park on Sunday (10am) in the final.

"We're unbeaten all season, it's the first time we've been in the final and the kids are chuffed to bits," says Malcolm, 59. Sedgefield's under 15s have also won their section, and play Esh Winning in the final on August 24.

The mums are laying on a barbeque for both Sunday's teams. "The spirit's tremendous," says Malcolm. "We'd love a bit of support on Sunday."

After our revelation that the annual cost of full FA membership has doubled to £235 (plus VAT), further distressing evidence of the impoverished nature of football's elite.

Last season, John Briggs in Darlington took part in an on-line predictions competition - "just a bit of fun really, no prizes." This week he tried to log on again, but found only a sad message from John Entwistle, the organiser.

Representatives of the Premiership, Nationwide League and the Scottish leagues had told him that by using the fixtures he was infringing their copyright.

How much, asked Entwistle? £12,620 for the fixtures plus £10,000 for "delivery" of them, he was told. "I keep hoping that Jeremy Beadle will jump out and say it's all been a joke," says Entwistle. "Needless to say, I'm not paying it."

The site, not as predicted, has been discontinued.

Two seasons ago, Brandon United played Sunderland Reserves in the Durham Challenge Cup at Durham City's ground. Though there were several hundred in, there were also 37 stewards. Brandon's receipts share amounted to just £78.

Sunderland have since been atoning. The offer of a box for the Chelsea match raised over £1000 at Brandon's sportsmen's dinner, whilst next Monday (7 30pm) they send a "strong" side to play the Albany Northern League champions in a friendly.

Club chairman Neil Scott is also a Sunderland season ticket holder. "Even if I weren't," he says, "I'd think they'd been fantastic."

As they did last year, Sunderland also sent a team to West Auckland last week - unlike last time, however, every spectator wasn't offered a buckshee copy of Jurgen Klinsmann's biography. "It was quite disappointing," reports Paul Dobson. "Perhaps they've got shot of them at last."

And finally...

Tuesday's column sought the identity of the ten Durham cricketers in Minor Counties days to win man of the match awards in the Gillette Cup or its successor competitions.

They are Steve Greensword (three times), Stuart Young (twice), John Bailey, Alan Burridge, Brian Lander, Stan Stoker - Spennymoor lad - Wasim Raja, Stuart Wilkinson, Simon Davis, an Australian professional with Darlington, and dear old Peter Kippax, in 1987 against Middlesex.

Back to Chris Cairns, now the second highest smiter of sixes in Test match history. Readers are invited to name the batsman who has cleared the rope yet more frequently. The boundary commission sits again on Tuesday.

Published: 08/08/2003