Whatever Turns You On (five)

NEVER underestimate the pulling power of body odours was one message I took away from writer and broadcaster David Aaronovitch's new series about sexual desire and behaviour around the world.

The Spanish prefer bottoms. The Chinese and Italians like thighs. But 80 per cent of men identified breasts as the biggest turn on.

Brazilians like big butts, but then women there strain coffee through worn panties to make a man find them more attractive. I can't see that catching on in Starbucks.

Nor can I see McDonalds adding vaginal secretion to hamburgers to improve customers' chances of getting off with each other. I think we were still in South America at this point, but I was too dumbstruck by what Aaronovitch called McFannyburgers to concentrate.

Apart from all this food of love nonsense, he was keen to be serious about his subject and went to great lengths, and several continents, to investigate.

British women lead the way in some things. They have the largest breasts in Europe, according to a national sex survey. Perhaps they could make it an Olympic event, so we could win gold occasionally.

What Aaronovitch found - which anyone could have told him and saved him the expense of travelling the world - was turn-ons change from time to time and place to place.

Marilyn Monroe was considered a fine figure of a woman in her day. Today, he contended, she would be considered overweight.

Still in America, he spoke to cheerleaders who contended they all had a different look. We saw otherwise, as the camera panned along a line of long-haired, busty girls who looked like they'd come from the same mould.

What else did we learn? The trend in South America is for women to have very little body hair. They shave and wax as often as they clean their teeth - which is advisable after drinking coffee in Brazil.

There were times when the programme, the first of three, looked suspiciously like an excuse to show lots of wiggling bottoms, bouncing boobs and other body parts. No amount of comments from cultural sexologists and other sexperts could raise the tone. Aaronovitch himself joined in enthusiastically, especially when it came to prancing about with a scantily-clad Samba dancer. He's clearly getting into the swing of things. "So far, we've been flirty, next time we will be at it," he promised.