A year in the life of Backtrack

2003 had been another year of highs, lows, far too many sad events and yet more miles on the clock for the award winning column.

Mike Amos, as ever, takes stock of the last 12 months.

Away Days

Gorleston v Billingham Town, where a music shop sold football rattles "and might have been prosecuted under the trade descriptions act."

London, where Guisborough lass Sharon Gayter was running a mile in each of 1,000 successive hours. "I don't want to be seen as some idiot with nothing better to do for six weeks," she said.

Musselburgh, for the FA Cup Final escape committee (and Scotch Pie Fest.)

Wembley, where Sunderland born chief executive Michael Cunnah is getting excited about the redevelopment and even about his team.

Soho Square, all too often. Casanova's mistress once lived there, and probably had more fun.

Birmingham, to see Horden miner's son and former binman Bob Taylor, a legend at West Bromwich Albion.

Windscale, lost again.

Notts County v Shildon, a disappointing result but a memorable day.

Blackburn, 30 years after Rovers and Willington drew 0-0 in the FA Cup.

Arsenal, where the directors' box seats have individual ash trays, like they used to have at the pictures.

Quotes

"I'm young, I'm a nutter and I love cricket" - Darlington lass Angela Brown, 26, explains why she went with the Barmy Army to Australia.

"The Aussies were a bit put out" - fellow traveller Richard Thurston after England's fifth test victory.

"They do everything except pull your zip down" - Darlington FC chairman George Reynolds gets excited about his new, Italian style urinals.

"As usual, we're all out at the moment" - Durham director of cricket Geoff Cook's answering machine message.

"After a surreal pre-match stunt involving a window cleaner who is to marry his ladders at Gretna Green" - the start of a Scottish Sunday Times match report on Inverness Caley.

"Getting hold of people at football clubs is like getting hold of the Pope" - former Durham cricketer Michael Roseberry.

"Likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than 99 just persons which need no repentance" - Over 40s League secretary Kip Watson quotes St Luke's gospel to explain why Matt Pearson, once banned for lying about his age, is in line for a sportsmanship award.

"A look at the life of Manchester United's Jackie Milburn" - Radio Times jumps on the bandwagon.

"Cricket civilizes people and creates good gentlemen. I want us to be a nation of gentlemen" - Robert Mugabe (1994).

"Jesus Christ would be quite interesting but Bart Simpson would be brilliant," Durham and England cricket Steve Harmison, asked to choose the perfect dinner guests.

Deaths

Ken Biddulph, 70, successful Durham fast bowler - 300 wickets in 82 matches - and renowned tail end Charlie.

Tom Spencer, Seaton Delaval based test match umpire. Reported by Backtrack in November 1995 and by Wisden and everyone else in February 2003.

John Thomas Cottam, died in 1897, acknowledged by Wisden under "supplementary obituaries" 99 years later.

Billy Bell, 71, manager of Northern League title winning sides from 1969-73, who could count Revie, Shankly and Sir Bobby Robson among his admirers.

Jim McConnon, 80, 28 before he made his first class debut but one of two England cricketers born in Burnopfield.

George Aitken, 77, Sunderland half back in the 1950s, signed from Third Lanark for £19,500.

Cliff Harrison, 92, England's oldest surviving rugby international. Debut at 19, born and remained on Hartlepool Headland.

John Noddings, 57, while playing in a charity football match at Tow Law. "The sort of lad who'd be enthusiastic about a game of tiddleywinks," it was recalled.

Billy Leng, former Ferryhill Athletic captain, 90.

Patch, of Hartlepool. 17.

Things only Backtrack readers would have ever known

* Burkino Faso means "the country of the upright people."

* Former Sunderland and England winger and London Palladium singer Colin Grainger once played Farringdon WMC with the Bonzo Dog Doodah Band.

* The Pitman's shorthand outline for "sex" and "success" is almost identical.

* Bishop Auckland FC vice-chairman Tony Duffy has a copy of all 492 episodes of Prisoner Cell Block H.

* The original Ford Popular, made in 1935, had windscreen washers which worked more slowly going uphill.

* Representing the Minor Counties against Northamptonshire in 1976, Neil Riddell smashed 109 in 121 minutes. Playing for Bishop Auckland against Marske the following day, he was at the crease for 62 minutes before being bowled for a duck.

* "Scumfished" means almost smothered by heat.

* The singer Peggy Lee was born Norma Egstrom.

* Durham's first recorded cricket match was played at Raby Castle in 1751.

* Durham County Council chairman Alan Fenwick, from Dawdon, is the father of Terry, the former Spurs and England footballer.

Fringe sports (anything other than cricket or football)

Hurling: now played by Niall Quinn in Ireland.

Fives and threes: the Brainless Britannia B won promotion from the Darlington and District League D Division, the Grey Horse on Bank Top won everything else in Britain.

Shooting: one eyed Bobby Guy, from Toft Hill, has a bag of British and European medals (pictured left)

Duo-decathlon: Peter Coates, 35, from Consett won silver in 20 discipline the world championships.

Rugby, usually courtesy of Mr Chris McLoughlin in Hartlepool.

Wrestling.

Dirt track riding.

Snooker: we even presented the Darlington snooker league's annual awards.

Horse racing: an annual visit to Catterick with retired trainer Denys Smith, 79, as learned guide.

Losers

Eric Gates, voted joint worst ever player (with Ricardo Gabbiadini) in Carlisle United fans' poll.

Brad Hogg, whose inscrutable Chinamen helped Australia win the World Cup - taken off after three overs for Plawsworth 13 years earlier and never bowled again for the Durham village side.

Darlington Hole In The Wall FC, president Mike Amos, beaten 4-2 by to DSRM Reserves who'd lost all 13 previous matches. "The final whistle was greeted like the trumpet of Gabriel," the programme noted.

Shildon Railway Cricket Club (alas).

Durham clergy cricket team (ditto).

Alf Richardson's greyhound, called Mike Amos. Slow and useless.

Sunderland FC, despite votive candles in the Grey Horse at Consett and an entry under "Prayers and petitions" in the Roman Catholic diocesan newspaper which began "How long, O Lord, how long...."

Stafford Place CC batsman Ian McCubbin - nine innings, ten runs, one not out, average 1.25. "Once he gets a single, the blood goes to his head," they said.

Gillamoor CC in the blessed Feversham League. Needing to six to win, struck a mighty blow which hit overhead wires and fell to earth inside the boundary. They went down by four runs.

Somerset, 1-4 against Durham.

Winners

Former Hartlepool United chairman Garry Gibson, MA in entrepreneurial skills at Stirling University.

Present Hartlepool chairman Ken Hodcroft, who turned down a professional contract with Tulsa Roughnecks and made a fortune out of oil.

Crook CC wicket keeper Allen March, a hat trick when brought on to bowl. "It's like riding a bike, you never forget," he said.

Bishop Auckland brothers Andrew and Richard Aisbitt, respectively Co Durham snooker and golf champions.

Richmond Mavericks FC, motto "They don't like it up 'em", who won the Wensleydale League and every cup competition.

East Rainton CC, did exactly the same.

Rose and Crown FC, Witton Park, won every game in the Wear Valley Sunday League.

Billingham Synthonia footballer Tony Woods, whose 37 minute goal gave Synners a place in the Durham Challenge Cup final. He had 37 in the golden goal raffle as well.

Prescott Cables manager Tommy Lawson, won a box of assorted wallpaper rolls at the North West Counties League dinner.

Golden Oldies

Greta Whitfield, 91, past lady captains' cup winner at Darlington Golf Club.

Arthur Puckrin, 65, from Middlesbrough - still swimming three miles, cycling 112 miles and running 262 miles in around 12 days. The "Iron Man" marathon.

Bill Smith, 80, playing five-a-side football every Monday morning at the Dolphin Centre in Darlington.

Jim Caddy, who has a treadmill in his sheltered accommodation in Redcar and won age group bronze at the World Vets' athletics in Puerto Rico. Jim's 78. "His motto is that he'll run as long as he can walk," said the warden.

Keith Hopper, 70, still scoring runs for Bishop Auckland CC.

Dave Ogilvie, who fought as Dave Brandon, retired at 72 from the British Boxing Board of Control. "When I was boxing there were eight world titles; now there are 68," he said.

Kelloe lad Barry Parnaby, 71, medals in the national Over 70s 100, 200 and 400m.

Darlington legal executive Ian Barnes, 67, age group 1500m champion for the fourth year running.

"Stormin'" Norman Sturman, Haughton cricket, retired at 67 and came back. Well.

Fred Richardson, 77, stalwart Hartlepools footballer and Coxhoe cricketer but, he insists, "the worst scholar in the class."

More deaths

Owen Willoughby, 84, Tottenham Hotspur scout and indomitable dynamo behind youth football in south-east Durham. "Owen had a wife, three daughters and 1,000 sons" said the priest at his funeral.

Paul Adamson, referee and former West Auckland striker, 43.

John Challoner, Consett referee, also 43.

Bill Aisbitt, former Northern League "Unsung Hero" award winner and Shildon director for 50 years.

Former Darlington FC chairman John Brockbank, 69.

Reg Furphy, helped found Stockton West End Juniors in 1944 and remained actively with them. His widow received 323 condolence cards.

Women folk

Anna Ridley, wife of Sedgefield CC captain Mike Ridley, spent her honeymoon with the Barmy Army in Australia with a banner saying "Sedgefield Booze Boys".

Bridgid Press, Northern Echo gardening correspondent and Yorkshire and England cricketer.

Joanna Banks, Bedale pub landlady and British power lifting champion.

Sharon Hayter, simply remarkable - see under Away Days.

Kelly Watt, 16-year-old Peterlee CC tea lady and top prize winner at her school.

More quotes

* "When I got home, I started working out what I'd let myself in for. When I got to £3m, I thought 'Oh dear'." - Albany Group chairman Brooks Mileson, after promising to sponsor the Northern League in perpetuity.

* "It says nothing in the Good Book about speeding" - Evenwood Town FC programme editor the Rev Frank Campbell, after driving from his Jedburgh parish in an hour and 25 minutes.

* "Backward, mentally deficient and illiterate were what they called me. They hadn't invented dyslexia" - George Reynolds on his schooldays.

* "There's too much prosperity, that's the problem for boxing. The best fighters were always the hungry fighters" - retiring BBBC man Dave Ogilvie, from Meadowfield.

* "I inherited all his genes but fortunately not hiss bowling action" - New Zealand cricket Chris Cairns on his father Lance, the former Bishop Auckland professional.

* "You don't see that very often" - West Auckland golfer Bill Johnson, after a big black rat fell from the sky.

* "I tell them I was playing when goalkeepers didn't wear gloves. They don't believe me" - former Middlesbrough and Northern Ireland keeper Jim Platt, now coaching juniors.

* "Wolverhampton Wanderers chairman Sir Jack Hayward had just declined a hot drink. What he actually said was 'Our tea was the worst in the first division and I'm sure it'll be the worst in the Premier League. Not 'our team'. Profuse apologies" - The Guardian.

Nicknames

Nickerbow - former Northern League secretary Gordon Nicholson (apparently for his love of knickerbocker glory.)

Stinker - Shildon footballer Stephen Tobin, who declines to shower with the team.

Monopod - Dunston keeper Stewart Dawson.

Colin - Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock's soubriquet among the refereeing fraternity. (For reasons which cannot possibly be explained.)

Wee Man - two thirds of Scottish footballers.

Tilty - 19-year-old Walker Cup golfer Michael Skelton, from Marske.

The Clockwork Mouse - ultra runner Dan Coffey, 72.

Dirty - Marske United defender Michael Kinnair, celebrating his 500th appearance, for purely ironic reasons.

Old faithfuls

Hails of Hartlepool, unique.

Paul Hodgson, Spennymoor Boxing Academy secretary and window cleaner with a fear of heights. "I only do bungalows," he said.

Bulldog Billy Teesdale, claimed untruthfully to have stopped telling lies.

Vince Kirkup, finally left the Little House on the Prairie.

George Reynolds, addressed a Home Office prison officers conference in Manchester. "I've done Deerbolt Borstal before but this was the big time," he said.

Sixer, greeded a sausage roll on the way to the Scotch Pie Fest from a woman on the train.

The Demon Donkey Dropper of Eryholme, still taking wickets.

Doc Forster, left Tow Law and seems, uniquely, to have gone quiet.

Terry Farley, Elderly Secretary of the Bishop Auckland referees' Society, happily recovered from a heart bypass.

John Dawson, king of the groundhoppers, similarly restored.

Dave Greener, familiar North-East cricketer, took a catch in flip-flops after being excused boots because of gout.

More things only Backtrack readers would have known

In Horden, men called Price are always known as Mutt.

Philadelphia, near Houghton-le-Spring, chiefly comprises Shop Row, Chapel Row, Electric Crescent and Voltage Terrace.

Philadelphia, USA, has more lawyers per head of population than anywhere else in the world.

Former Newcastle United striker Imre Varadi inadvertently started the 1980s craze for inflatable bananas. Bury had blow up black puddings.

Yarmouth was Britain's most bombed town during World War II.

Sheffield Wedesday's junior teams were given fried egg sandwiches on the way to games.

Leslie Welch, the Memory Man, was discovered while serving with the Eighth Army.

The Bishop of Middlesbrough is an ardent Arsenal fan.

The BBC is making a programme about naked Subbuteo (the little men, apparently).

Published: 19/12/2003