THE emergency services are stretched to the limit in Soapland with a fire in Walford and the arrest of one of Weatherfield's most respected citizens.

In Coronation Street (ITV1), flame-haired Rita Sullivan loses her rag with young Chesney, ill-behaved son of Les Battersby's current squeeze Cilla.

No one can blame Rita as Chesney and his pals have been stealing sweets. When he pushes Rita too far, she snaps and throws the tearaway out of the shop - hurray, do I hear you say? - but he trips and bangs his head on a shelf on his way out.

His injuries are only superficial. But mum Cilla, who equals Les for sheer ghastliness, spots the chance to make some money. She gets Kabin owner Rita charged with assault in the hope of relieving her of loads of money in compensation.

Todd the almost-gay boy and Sarah the schoolgirl mum announce their engagement. You can bet that Nick, the not-gay boy Todd tried to kiss, won't take the news lying down.

Charlie the randy builder is misting up dreary Deirdre's glasses as he removes asbestos without Ken knowing. Does that count as being unfaithful to your husband? Charlie is obviously destined to be lusted after by older women as Bev asks him to pop round to strip off her inflammable substances.

Things are hotting up in Albert Square as the rivalry between the Mitchell and Watts families sees Angie's Den being torched in EastEnders (BBC1). As the place seems to be empty most of the time, this doesn't seem too dangerous. But wait, there's someone in the cellar. It's only Vicky, the girl with the ever-changing accent. Perhaps she'll emerge from the flame speaking with an Australian twang.

Her ordeal follows that van crash in the Scottish Highlands. Perhaps someone is trying to kill her off. Most viewers would willingly lend a hand.

More violence as Charlie the taxi driver is charged with GBH after beating up Graham, the man who raped Little Mo. Perhaps he could share a cell with Rita.

Kelly and Zoe are still avoiding each other after That Kiss in Scotland. Their friendship is being sorely tested by the idea of girl-on-girl action. A kiss also upsets Gus - mainly between it's being shared between Sonia and Martin the tallest man in soap.

Pat and Natalie plant a shrub in memory of Barry, the most boring man in Soapland who rolled down a hill and hit his head. A very large plant presumably as a big man demands a big bush.

A familiar face turns up for the funeral of Tricia the braindead barmaid in Emmerdale (ITV1). Welcome back - but only temporarily - to Bernice. Perhaps she can referee as Steph, Turner and Marlon are at loggerheads in the run-up to the funeral.

Zoe the schizophrenic lesbian vet and now controller of the Tate empire agrees to let Scott, father of the child conceived while she was drunk, move into Home Farm.

There's much activity here as Cain arrives to persuade Zoe to help prove the innocence of Charity, who's been charged with murder and is pregnant with a child by Cain/Marlon (delete where applicable).

Published: 08/01/04