The column with drive

We have also been made ineluctably aware of Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine and - by Roger Cliff in Low Coniscliffe, near Darlington - of Amos Drive, on the Greencroft industrial estate in Annfield Plain.

Amos, drive and industry are, of course, entirely synonymous - but it's others who have written this column. This is the readers' digest.

THE initial challenge was to think of a song with "February" in the title, or at least in the lyrics. Many recalled January February by Barbara Dickinson, many more offered a slice of American Pie, Don McLean's 1960s threnody on the passing of Buddy Holly.

A couple of alert readers - Ray Applegarth in Castletown, Sunderland and Mr J Richards in Bishop Auckland - even remembered Shine On Harvest Moon, no loving since January, February, June and July.

Mark Turnbull from BBC Radio Cleveland did his Barbara Dickinson impression down the telephone; Cara Paterson of TFM Radio's Mojo Breakfast Show crested the calendar from Maggie May to A Long December by Counting Crows.

Russ Addison's choice included February 14 by Billy Bragg - doubtless a love song - while Tom Purvis sent the words of February Stars ("temporary scars, February stars") by the Foo Fighters.

Not for the first time, however, it was John and Lynn Briggs in Darlington who offered the longest list - including the doubtless explosive Born on November 5 by the aforementioned Carter.

Apparently they were a punk duo, Jim Morrison and Les Carter, remembered by a colleague here for an LP called Starry Eyed and Bollock Naked and by Phil Westberg in South Africa for being "relatively" successful.

"For what reason," adds Phil, "I have absolutely no idea."

CATH Napier, another calendar girl, invites us to add days of the week to musical months.

Most of hers came to mind quite easily - Monday, Monday by The Mamas and the Papas, Ruby Tuesday by the Stones, Friday On My Mind by the Easybeats. To date, however, Cath has been wholly unable to think of a song with Thursday in the title.

Thor point? Readers can doubtless help.

MONTH of Sundays? Kevin O'Beirne in Sunderland and George Thompson in Escomb, Bishop Auckland both wonder when February last embraced five Sundays, as it does this month. It was in 1976; the next will be in 2032. "Will the vicars get overtime?" asks George. Probably not.

MUCH of this avalanche arrives by e-mail, and is promptly acknowledged. The New Year resolution to conquer the correspondence mountain also holds more or less good, though not without an energy of its own.

Replies, almost always hand written, lead happily to further letters. They also lead to complaints.

"Your writing is so bad I've had to call in the family doctor to interpret it," claims a correspondent from Richmond.

Physician heal thyself? Or is the writing simply on the wall?

WRONG way street, much of the curious name correspondence seems sadly to have been mislaid.

From Chilton Moor near Houghton-le-Spring however, Mr J Holmes confirms that not only is there a Bog Row in Hetton-le-Hole but a Fairy Street nearby.

The plaque explaining how the street came by its whimsical name is long vanished. Can anyone, asks Mr Holmes, remember the Fairy story?

Paul Dobson in Bishop Auckland had an uncle who lived in Pesspool Lane, Haswell - near Peterlee - which may or may not have been linked to Bog Row. That's still standing, too.

Then there's the reader who prefers to be identified only as That Bloody Woman, who underlines our point about Philip's street atlases being fearfully hard to read for those with less than perfect eyesight.She prefers the A-Z ("invented by a woman") but on one well remembered occasion had to use a Philip's map.

It was only when they ended up in Sainsbury's car park that she realised it might have been misread.

FROM Pesspool to plumbing and a note from Russ Addison, in Durham. ("Perhaps I shouldn't be talking about it as I'm on the verge of going into hospital for a prostate op," he concedes.)

Russ is something called a Connexions personal adviser, in former times known as a careers adviser. Last week's note on the shortage of plumbers - the country is said to need another 29,000 - near drove him round the proverbial bend.

Possibly lured by promises of great wealth, he admits, many youngsters want to be plumbers but can find nowhere to train.

A number of training providers offer instruction - a water course, as it were - but a place is dependent on finding a work placement with a practising plumber. "The offer is almost impossible to find," says Russ. "Please put out a plea to plumbers to think of the future and help train our youngsters."

The drip drip effect, no doubt.

...and finally, Michael Hunt in Pittington, near Durham, rings to complain about newspapers' casual use of words like "star" (anyone who's played in the Football League), "legend" (anyone who's played in the Football League for more than two years) and "icon" (anyone who's played in the Football league for five years and has two or more GCSEs and a blonde.)

Then there's hero. "A hero," says Michael, "appears now to be anyone who's ever been near a theatre of war, whether or not they ever got on the stage."

The point is timely. Today's Gadfly is in two bits, information which may be particularly useful for those faithful folk who read the column on the Internet.

The other part, on page three, is about Pilot Officer Andrew Mynarski VC, killed in action 60 years ago this year. Andy Mynarski was truly a hero. It's high time he was recognised.

www.thisisthenortheast.co.uk/news/gadfly.html