AS I co-own one of the more bankrupt branches of The Bank Of Mum And Dad (BBC2, Tuesday) it was pretty obvious that my wife and I needed a few pointers on dealing with penniless offspring.

Sadly, the opening episode featured a pretty obnoxious daughter from Warrington, Dawn Murphy, who'd managed to rack up £26,000 of debts by the age of 23.

Regardless of overspending on booze, cigarettes and good times, she and fiance Richard Holford were ploughing ahead with a £6,000 wedding on top of indulging two small children, driving two cars and borrowing £8,000 on top of their mortgage. Repulsed by the sight of daughter and parents, Jackie and Steve, sucking on cigarettes outside the front door, after each slanging match about spending, my fellow child financier said: "This is just a down-market version of Alvin Hall. Do I even care about how these people got into debt?"

The good news is that if Dawn and Richard cut back on their wild extravagance they can pay off their debts in four-and-a-half years. The bad news is that the Beeb need to find people who don't seem to be basing their lives on the script from EastEnders.

Thankfully, BBC2 is also showing Paralympic Grandstand where we've seen the incredible Andrew Lindsay crash into the side of the pool while leading the 100m backstroke and still recover to win the event.

Our wheelchair basketball team beat Brazil to grab a last-gasp qualifying spot and North-East Tanni Grey Thompson's tears of Monday have turned to much-publicised triumph on Thursday. It was left to equestrian gold medallist Lee Pearson to get us giggling with an admission that "as a blond, I was able to put all other thoughts out of my head and concentrate on winning".

"What an outrageous flirt," said my wife as he sneaked a kiss from presenter Clare Balding, and you couldn't have said that about disabled sport a few years ago. Pity the poor Radio 5 Live continuity man who boldly announced this week: "Later we'll have an update on the Paralytic Games." I suspect he needed a few stiff drinks to get over that slip of the lip.

There'll be no gold medal for Ann Maurice if the current form from House Doctor: Inside And Out (C5, Friday) is anything to go by. The brash US interior designer has dispensed with the co-presenting services of the camp charmer Alistair Appleton and there is now a hard-nosed assessment given to struggling vendors as to why houses won't sell.

Appleton has found BBC1's Cash In The Attic a far easier attack on his emotions than Maurice's "I don't like one room" approach after informing a couple their home was "as easy on the eye as laser surgery".

With this type of track record I'm surprised Appleton isn't invited to return for one episode only. All he has to do is persuade the House Doctor to check out the attic for bargains and nail up the loft hatch. The Bank Of Mum And Dad would definitely sponsor the hammer.

Published: 25/09/2004