The Buddhist Boro man

PICTURE the scene: your team has just lost a crucial match and fellow fans are streaming from the terraces, shaking their heads and cursing. You understand their despair - over the years, you've felt the pain of defeat many times. Except this time, it's different. This time, instead of depression setting in, that mixture of anger, frustration and helplessness; a sense of injustice and of hating the other team, you feel only resignation. After all, you reflect mildly, it is only a game.

These days, this is exactly Mike Whitaker's attitude when his football team - Middlesbrough - loses. It's not that he isn't a true fan - he used to spend a fortune attending every home game and still wears the shirt with pride - it's just that since the days when Boro was his life, he's discovered Buddhism.

Mike, 35, admits that for a boy from Saltburn, brought up a Protestant, it's an unconventional choice. "Buddhism is something I discovered maybe 12 years ago," he explains. "I had just graduated and I took a year out and went to South-East Asia. I discovered Buddhism in southern Thailand, where I went on a ten-day retreat. I read some books and there was a natural attraction."

While he admits that the retreat was "pretty intense", involving four or five, 90-minute sessions of meditation every day, Mike returned to England a convert. "In particular, I fell in love with the Kadampa tradition of Buddhism. It's under the spiritual direction of Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, a Tibetan man who lives in the West and has set up lots of Buddhist centres throughout the world. I went on an in-depth study programme and on more retreats," he says.

Mike discovered the Atisha Buddhist Centre, in Darlington, which belongs to the tradition, and decided to move in. But how did his family react? "Initially, they weren't that keen. They found it a bit unusual," he admits, in what must surely be an understatement. "But they were happy that I was happy. I showed my mum round and I know other residents do that."

Having lived at the centre for ten years, Mike is now a senior student. In the living room where we're chatting, a golden Buddha sits serenely in the corner and notably absent is a television - this is considered a distraction. Head of the household is a monk, stereotypically bald and red robed, and the other residents - seven including Mike - live by Buddhist rules, including not drinking or killing any living thing. (No, not even flies or spiders, Mike confirms).

They meditate daily and must each do ten hours' work for the centre a week, which can be cleaning, helping to run classes or generally furthering the aim of promoting Buddhist teachings. Yet Mike says there's plenty of freedom.

"There are maybe two paths. Some Buddhists will decide to become ordained as a monk or nun and they will take certain vows - one is celibacy. They maybe do less worldly work and they will focus on their meditation. Within this tradition of Buddhism, I've heard there are 500 people ordained out of maybe three or four thousand worldwide. Most people are lay practitioners. We are still encouraged to take vows but there's no dogma in Buddhism - it's very non-judgmental."

Like many Buddhists, Mike has a job - he works at Darlington Manor Residential Home - and a girlfriend. "It's early days at the moment. My girlfriend has an interest in Buddhism," he says coyly.

He's more likely to be seen in the bright red of Middlesbrough Football Club than the muted scarlet of the monastery, and hopes that this will help him relate to potential students.

"I've been teaching for seven or eight years but this is my first attempt at a big town - Middlesbrough - which I feel I have a good connection with, being a Middlesbrough supporter," Mike explains.

On Thursday nights until December 9, he is running Buddhism and meditation classes at St Mary's Centre. He would encourage fellow football fans and their partners to attend, as he believes that they, like he, could benefit from Buddhist philosophy.

"When I was first interested in Middlesbrough Football Club, a lot of my happiness was invested in those matches. I think Buddhism has given me a more balanced perspective. I still enjoy watching Middlesbrough but at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter if they win or lose," he says.

I wonder if he's aware that this would raise the hackles of most Boro fans but he's well used to being insulted for his views - his best friend supports Newcastle. Yet friendly banter aside, he simply refuses to get drawn into the more tribal side of the game. "Whenever I go to a match, I can't join in with those songs that some football fans sing against the opposition supporters. If the other team wins, I can rejoice and be happy for them," says Mike.

While it's unlikely that his students will leave with quite so much equanimity, he hopes that they will learn basic principles like seeking happiness from within and determination - how else, he argues, would Boro manager Steve McClaren have succeeded?

"I think a lot of the success for Middlesbrough at the moment has come from Steve McClaren's mind. He seems to be quite a positive person. For me, it shows the potential in your mind," says Mike.

Eager to embrace the football connection, a Boro fans' website has agreed to promote Mike's classes. The only downside, the irony of which is not lost on him, is that they clash with the European football. "I didn't know that until recently," he says sheepishly.

Mike is aware that people might be nervous of coming to learn about Buddhism but stresses that the atmosphere is friendly, informal and reassuringly normal. "There are no 'oms' or chanting - it's not some strange cult. People often say we are quite normal. We are just like everyone else," he says.

* The Atisha Buddhist Centre offers other classes throughout the North-East. For information, ring (01325) 365265.