Beware the lossage of grass

"I have three lever-arch files absolutely solid with cases. This no-win, no-fee business is getting out of hand, " says company secretary John Topping.

Where an injured player went to his doctor, he now seems more likely first to turn to his solicitor ? leagues, landowners, FAs and even the referee in the legal line of fire.

Among the latest cases is a damages claim from a player hurt on an "unauthorised" pitch ? used because the original pitch was declared unfit.

"I've warned and warned about it, " says John. "If it's not the intended pitch they aren't covered by our public liability insurance." Another case, following a Wearside League game in which a player was hurt after being in collision with the dug-out, cites "lossage of grass" as a cause.

The new headquarters, near the county cricket ground at Chester-le-Street, were necessary because the old offices in Durham had become too small. They moved in this week.

"We added another storey about ten years ago and thought it would do for another 50, but with all the FA football development initiatives nationally there's just not room for everyone, " says Durham FA president Frank Pattison.

Formed in 1883, the county FA had originally been part of Northumberland.

"Northumberland gave us 15 shillings to help set us up, " says John. "It's amazing what I found out when I started preparing for the move." Previous Durham FA offices have been known, rather curiously, as Codeslaw. The meeting on Wednesday which would have decided whether to keep the name was postponed because of snow.

Frank Pattison, meanwhile, regrets that the cricket club has begun building work of its own between the FA offices and the ground. "I was going to let half of this out for Test matches, " he says. "They've completely spoiled my plan."

FRUSTRATED because the snow means she can't get out to play - "I've even resorted to dusting, " she says, scornfully - the extraordinary Vera Selby has been talking of plans to publish her autobiography. It'll be entirely in verse.

And worse? Those who've heard her ingenious poems know differently.

Twice women's world snooker champion, nine times British women's billiards champ and five times holder of the snooker title, the immaculate Vera - 75 next month - is still a professional referee and after dinner speaker.

Her talks are also partly in verse - like the one so greatly appreciated at Tow Law last year.

"There does seem to be shock value, " she concedes. "People see this rather snooty looking woman stand up to read poetry and then discover they rather enjoy it. I like to think it's quite amusing, and with a bit of a twist in the tail." The 67 poems range from her childhood in Richmond, North Yorkshire ? "I got swept over the waterfall, so frightened when I got home I said I'd fallen in the pond in the park" - to her present life in Newcastle.

Many more concern the former art lecturer's rise to global pre-eminence on the green baize. Temporarily snookered, all she needs now is a publisher.

CROOK Town FC chairman Stephen Buddle marries Jill Tomlinson tomorrow - and the way the weather's going, it could be the only match of the day.

Since seven of the Over 40s team will miss an important cup tie and half the Albany Northern League side's committee are also on wedding duty, he's almost hoping for postponements.

"The wedding goes ahead no matter how deep the drifts, " insists Steve - and after chilling out at the reception, they're off to Gran Canaria.

NO such wintry problems for Alastair Milroy, our man in the Caribbean - 32 degrees in the shade, 60p for what the locals call a "beastly ice cold beer" and Carib Cup cricket, admission £1.30, to mark his 34th birthday last weekend.

Ali, Cockfield lad and Evenwood cricketer, took in Trinidad and Tobago against the Windward Islands - Deighton Butler, Evenwood's last pro, playing for the Windwards and Rayad Emrit, his replacement, for Trinidad.

Butler's an old friend, Emrit a bit more surprised to see him ? "being approached by a 6ft tall, shaven-headed stranger in Trinidad is generally not a good thing, " says Ali, though his Evenwood CC shirt may have been a give away.

He'a also a bit worried about the language barrier. "Rayad's English is a bit different from Evenwood English, though I'm sure the lads will bring it down to our level." They're pictured on the Pointe-a-Pierre ground with Ali's son Aaron, aged three.

Ali and family hope to be back on Cockfield Fell for Easter, by which time the snow may finally have drifted elsewhere.

SIMILAR thoughts of Spring for Durham County Cricket Club scorer and historian Brian Hunt, who seeks the column's help in tracing five former county players - all of whom he's pretty certain are alive.

Brian Jackson, a former Darlington Grammar School boy, played for the county in the 1960s. Syd Wade, who had Philadelphia connections, and Harry Thompson from Norton both appeared in the 1940s.

Sunderland player Peter Williamson won county honours in the 1950s and may now be in North Yorkshire; R W Wheatley, a former Barnard Castle School boy, played around the same time.

Brian, the best of blokes, is on 01388 661783.

HITHERTO known only for its hair of the dog track, the east Durham village of Wheatley Hill has an unrealised claim to sporting fame.

Though most record books insist that former England goalkeeper Eddie Hopkinson was born in Royton, Lancashire, Steve Salmon in Darlington insists that he was a Wheatley Hill lad - and he's right.

Steve's also something of an expert on grehound stadia - "misspent youth" he says - recalling that Wheatley Hill had a "ball hare", a ragged contraption lugged around on a piece of string.

Last we heard, long-time owner Norman Fannon had made a replacement "hare" out of old army bedsteads, and was militarily proud of it.

Eddie Hopkinson, at any rate, is probably best remembered for being a little big man. Though just 5ft 8in tall, he played three times for Oldham Athletic as a 16-yearold, made almost 600 first team appearances for Bolton and 14 for his country.

"The best one-on-one keeper I've ever seen, " former Bolton collague Tommy Banks once said of him.

Hoppy died last year, aged 69, his son Paul - 39 League games in goal for Stockport County ? recalling at the time that for a small man he had very long arms and "hands like a bookmaker." They'd have approved at Wheatley Hill dogs.

LAST Friday's memories of former Darlington centre half and captain Billy Kelly, who died at the age of 50 while playing for Croft Exhibitionists, stirred memories for Ray Wilkinson, also in Darlington.

Ray played in the mid-1960s for Rocket in the now ailing Darlington and District League.

Billy, still fired up, came aboard when he was 46 and helped them to the title.

"He was just as enthusiastic as when he was a youngster at Feethams, a smashing bloke with whom I became good friends, " recalls Ray.

Ray and his brother John also played for Darlington Reserves in 1956-57, alongside the better known brothers Charlie and Frank Wayman, both nearing the end of their Football League careers.

"Bobby Gurney quite liked me when he was manager but when Dick Duckworth took over I couldn't get a game and Billy fixed me up at Stanley United, " he recalls.

Inevitably, inescapably, it was perishing. "I remember after one match I was so cold I couldn't even get my boots off.

I've never in my life been so glad to get back down to Darlington."

FORTY years to the day after the awful event, Tuesday's column referred to the double sending-off for "obscene" language of two West Auckland players in the Northern League Cup semi-final at Spennymoor.

It was, as it were, unheard of.

"Unique, " said The Northern Echo.

One was Keith Hopper, the other the late Cyril Gowland - affectionately recalled by former Bishop Auckland colleague Arnold Alton. "A hoot in the dressing room and in Rossi's cafe afterwards, " he says.

We have also heard from Peter Loughran, who played in that match for West Auckland and swears they were a bit unlucky.

"Michael Barker was already limping badly when those two got sent off together and then Spennymoor got a penalty.

"It hit the post and went in off the back of Alan Porter, our goalkeeper, who kicked the goal post in frustration and went down like a bag of cement.

"It finished 5-1 and we effectively had seven men. A saint would have sworn that day."

And finally...

TUESDAY'S column sought the identity of nine post-war England football captains who had also played for Southampton and has had grown men begging for the answer.

The national Saints were Alan Ball, Mick Channon, Kevin Keegan, Mick Mills, Alan Shearer, Peter Shilton, Dave Watson, Mark Wright and - the one which got away - Alf Ramsey.

Still wearing the three lions, readers are today invited to name four post-war English internationals whose surname ends with the letter "O".

Nought for your comfort, the column returns on Tuesday.

Published: 25/02/2005