Sir Thomas Ingilby, whose family has occupied Ripley Castle, near Harrogate, for almost 700 years, has written a book on stately home life. He tells Sarah Foster some of the things the visitors don't get to see.

BEING a castle owner, it seems, requires a sense of humour. For one, how do you describe yourself? 'Castle owner' seems ostentatious, 'hotelier', not strictly true and 'chartered surveyor', nowhere near adequate. It's a question that has long vexed Sir Thomas Ingilby.

"If I am entering Australia, writing 'landowner' can result in my shoes being removed and sprayed with something horrible to deter land-based bugs and insects," he writes. "'Chartered surveyor' generally gets you involved in a lengthy discussion as to what a chartered surveyor is.

"On those immigration forms that you have to complete on the aeroplane before landing, I write 'castle owner'. We are few and far between, so I like to think of us as something of a collector's item for immigration officials, a boast akin to the traffic cop who catches a Lamborghini speeding on the M1: 'I had three castle owners through today'; 'Get away - I haven't seen one of those for years'."

If you're a rarity, you might as well embrace it, and meeting Sir Thomas at his home, the stunning Ripley Castle, it's clear he's done just this. Dressed in a pinstriped suit, with hair swirling to a peak, he's instantly affable; the model of high-class charm. As he shows me round the house, he's wired and chatty - so anxious to regale me with stories that I can hardly take in the scenery. It's not that surprising - it's the day of his book launch, and jaded though he must be by press attention, this is clearly something different.

Sir Thomas, 49, embarked on writing Yorkshire's Great Houses:Behind The Scenes, as a kind of busman's holiday. Being director of the Yorkshire Tourist Board and chairman of Yorkshire's Great Houses, Castles and Gardens, a consortium of 45 local properties, he was already in regular contact with their owners. Accompanied by photographer Simon Miles he went on a tour, including well-known attractions like Castle Howard, Harewood House and Temple Newsam. He found that life was pretty similar to that at Ripley.

"All the owners are completely hands-on. It's an awesome responsibility," says Sir Thomas.

He isn't joking. Gone are the days when his family lived in ease - the last servants left after his grandmother's time. Nowadays, everyone mucks in, with Ripley functioning very much as a business. The family doesn't even live in the main castle, being relegated, as Sir Thomas wryly puts it, to "the flat above the shop".

In his lifetime, he has seen great changes. "When I went to college, my role was a landowner's role dealing with forestry, shooting and agricultural and residential properties. The castle was open on Sunday afternoons and souvenirs were sold off a trestle table under the castle gate house. A hundred would be a Bank Holiday crowd," he says.

The scene began to shift in 1967, when the television series The Flaxton Boys was filmed at Ripley Castle, prompting a steep rise in visitors. Then when Sir Thomas's father died in 1974, there was a crisis. "We had a massive death duty bill to pay. We had to sell off half the estate," remembers the baronet.

Luckily, the castle's fortunes were to change. In 1981, Harrogate International Centre opened, putting nearby Ripley on the map. "People suddenly started to knock on our front door unannounced, asking if they could hold a dinner in the castle," says Sir Thomas.

With scant knowledge or experience, he rallied his staff to the challenge, coercing cleaners to act as waitresses and seeking help from local chefs. He remembers it as a torrid time. "The word spread that if you booked dinner at Ripley, you got dinner eventually and the cabaret was fantastic," he says sardonically.

In the midst of all the chaos were Sir Thomas and his wife Emma - both with their sleeves rolled up. Among the disasters, Sir Thomas recalls the disappearance of the beef for Sunday lunch, stolen by a crafty dog. "We searched high and low and couldn't find the beef anywhere. We eventually rang the two pubs in nearby Burnt Yates and requested 'sirloin steak for 23, to go, as quick as you like'." Fortunately on this, as on most other occasions, it worked out fine in the end.

These days, the castle has two catering kitchens and a fleet of 14 chefs, as well as four banqueting managers. They stem from a massive £2.5m refurbishment programme, in which the derelict coach house and stables have been converted into conference and banqueting suites.

Sir Thomas leads me from the castle's faded splendour to this light and airy space. It's pretty impressive; modern and minimal, with beams and stalls adding character. Now, as well as in the main building, Ripley hosts weddings here.

Having learned the rules of business - albeit on the hoof - Sir Thomas knows that visitors are his bread and butter. With sole access to the family's flat by public routes, chances are he'll bump into some of the curious from time to time - and if that's when he's laden with shopping, then so be it. He accepts his goldfish-bowl existence with equanimity.

"In our dreams, we sit in a small roof garden hidden behind the battlements, far above the madding crowds below. Sadly, even there we would find ourselves targeted by the low-flying aircraft and helicopters that frequently use the castle as a navigational aid," he writes.

Sir Thomas says it's easier for his children, an impressive brood of five, because they've never known any different. "Our children have grown up with wedding parties taking place in the marquee on the lawn and discos within 100 yards of their windows," he says. "It's a bit like living near an airport - you don't notice it after a while."

He feels it's especially hard for spouses - usually wives - coming into stately homes, and admits to courting Emma under false pretences. "When we first went out, I was a land agent living in a little cottage outside York and I was just Tom Ingilby," recalls Sir Thomas.

"Then one evening, we came over to a party in Harrogate and I said we may as well stay at Ripley. She arrived in the dark and the corridors seemed quite long and she thought, 'Blimey, this is a big house'. She opened the curtains the next morning and thought, 'Who is this man?'"

Humour aside, it's been a rough ride for the couple, and Sir Thomas admits that they were once tempted to sell up. "A Swedish gentleman who had made a fortune from Russian oil fields was prepared to buy the whole lot, lock, stock and barrel. He offered any price. We probably lost more sleep about that than anything else, but Emma and I had this dream about what we wanted to do and we knew we wouldn't rest until we had had a chance to see it come true."

In terms of the future, Sir Thomas wants his children to spread their wings before coming back to Ripley - if that's what they choose to do. "If they sell up, that's their decision, not mine. I wouldn't blame them for doing so," he says. Yet it's clear he hopes that they, like their father, will remain in its spell. "Everyone feels so lucky to work in a place like this. I feel privileged - very privileged indeed," he says.

* Ripley Castle (01423 770152) is open daily during July and August and on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays in all other months, including Good Friday, Easter and May Bank Holidays. Admission to the castle and gardens is £6.50 for adults and £4 for children.

* Yorkshire's Great Houses, Behind The Scenes by Sir Thomas Ingilby (Dalesman, £19.99).