BENNETT Arron is an award-winning writer, comedian and author. His critically acclaimed books, The Girl From The Discotheque and Heard The One About Identity Theft? are available to buy on Amazon and his radio series Bennett Arron Worries About…. is currently on iPlayer

What was your first car?

My parents bought me my first car. It was a second or third-hand Vauxhall Astra. They bought it to congratulate me on doing well in my first year at Drama School. I was kicked out two months later, but fortunately they didn’t ask for the car back.

How many times did it take to pass your test?

I passed first time, to my amazement as well as the amazement of my friends, family and driving instructor. I first learned how to drive by sitting on my dads’ lap, in his Ford Cortina, and steering around a car park. It was a bit uncomfortable for him as I was 16 at the time.

Who would be your ideal fantasy passenger and where would you go?

The Northern Echo: Manure dumped on Clarkson's lawn

Jeremy Clarkson and I’d drive on country lanes as slowly and badly as possible. Which wouldn’t be difficult. And I’d make sure it was at night and I’d put my lights off occasionally to scare him.

What is your dream car?

Aston Martin DB5. For all the obvious reasons. Oh and I’d want all the extras. In fact if I was taking Jeremy Clarkson in the car then the ejector seat would come in very useful.

The Northern Echo: Aston Martin DB5, one of the types of cars owned by Barry Chapman

How would you describe your driving style?

Cautious. And I’ve picked up bad habits over the years like riding the clutch too much and buying too many travel sweets.

Tell me one driving anecdote from your past?

I was driving on the M4 at around 1am – I know this sounds like I’m showing off, but there’s actually more to the story. Ahead of me I could see a lorry on the hard shoulder and one of its tyres in the middle lane. I then saw the car in front of me driving straight towards it. It wasn’t slowing down and it wasn’t changing lanes.

By the time I had thought “he’s going to hit that” he’d hit it. His car spun 180 degrees and headed straight towards me. I honestly thought ‘this is it’. I wouldn’t say my whole life flashed in front of my eyes, but I clearly remember thinking “I’m about to die and I haven’t finished the final season of 24”.

Suffice to say, I managed to swerve enough to avoid a head on collision. Neither of us were badly hurt, but my car, like a good evening out with friends, was completely smashed. That’s when I stopped driving to gigs.

What are you listening to?

My radio series Bennett Arron Worries About…. because someone has to.

What do you drive now?

A Renault Megane because I can keep the key in my pocket yet still open the door and start the engine. It’s the closest I can get to the gadgets on a DB5.