HOW many times have you been hungover? I have no idea – which probably implies, and rightly so, that the figure’s pretty high.

By the sounds of it, that’s the case for most of us, as a survey’s just revealed that the average Brit spends the equivalent of 315 days of their life with a hangover – now there’s a sobering thought.

Macmillan Cancer Support carried out the survey to launch their Go Sober for October fundraising campaign, which basically involves getting people to sponsor you not to drink a drop of booze for the month of October.

But what’s actually going on when we’re hanging after a heavy night?

Head, ears and eyes

You wake up with a banging headache, dry mouth and your tongue seems to have grown a carpet. You also have bloodshot eyes and find noise intolerable “ALL due to dehydration,” says Mel Wakemen, a senior lecturer from Birmingham City University’s Faculty of Health. “Alcohol is a diuretic, so our body essentially becomes dry. Headaches can be caused by this, as blood flow to the brain changes.

“Your eyes dry out, so there is less fluid to lubricate the eyeballs. And you generally become oversensitive to noise when your head hurts.”

Very heavy boozing over prolonged periods can sometimes lead to long-term hearing problems. “Alcohol may also damage the sensitive parts of the inner ear that help us hear sounds, and can lead to deafness,” Wakeman adds.

Mind

Details of the night before are hazy. You also feel down in the dumps, or even depressed and full of dread IT’S not uncommon to experience some degree of memory loss, particularly after a heavy drinking session. “Alcohol affects brain cells and stops them from storing information in our memory bank, ie stops us making memories, particularly short-term memories,” says Wakeman.

Booze can also affect memory in the long term. A study published in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry this summer assessed the mental abilities of nearly 7,000 middle-aged people across eight years, and found those with a history of drinking problems had a more than doubled risk of severe memory impairment.

As for our moods, while we may get a buzz and feel perkier after a couple of drinks, alcohol is actually a depressant, affecting neurotransmitters – brain chemicals – and possibly resulting in us feeling angry, teary, depressed and anxious for days afterwards.

Alertness

You can’t stop yawning and have difficulty concentrating WHEN you’re extremely hungover, even getting from bed to sofa can feel like an achievement, and watching re-runs of your favourite comedy is the most your brain can handle. As above, all that brain chemistry disruption may play a part in why you’re not feeling sharp, but another big factor is the poor night’s sleep you’ve just had.

“Alcohol can disrupt sleep for a number of reasons,” says Christina Merryfield, lead dietician at Bupa Cromwell Hospital. “Firstly, if you have a lot to drink, you may need to get up in the night to go to the toilet. Secondly, a deep sleep helps the body to restore itself, but alcohol can affect the initial process needed for deep sleep by interfering with the first stage of sleeping, called ‘rapid eye movement’ [REM]. This disruption may also contribute to making you feel drained when you wake up.”

Gut and stomach

You’ve got diarrhoea and might be feeling queasy and throwing up, or completely ravenous and craving carbs “Alcohol can upset your stomach by raising your stomach acids, which causes you to feel nauseous and unwell,” says Merryfield. “This usually lasts 24 hours, but can be longer if you’ve drunk excessively.”

Feeling – and being – sick can also be due to a high concentration of alcohol in your stomach and bloodstream; especially bad if you’ve been mixing your drinks. “It’s our body’s way of protecting itself – by making us feel rough, it’s giving us some aversion therapy to stop us doing it again.”

As for those cravings for stodge and sugar, that’s largely linked to low blood sugar. “Many alcoholic drinks are rich in carbohydrates, making our blood sugars surge upwards, followed by a downward crash as our body attempts to regulate our levels,” says Wakemen. “We often get the munchies or feel hungry in response.”

Arms and legs

Limbs feel heavy, tired and sluggish OK, so you were giving Jacko a run for his money on the dance floor until the early hours, and that might have something to do with why your arms and legs are aching so much, but the booze you were glugging will probably have played a part too.

Yet again, dehydration has a lot to answer for.

“Loss of fluid in the body affects the blood flow through all of our body tissues,” Wakemen points out. Low blood sugar might also be a factor, as you’ll generally have less energy all over.

Excessive drinking also carries longer-term heath risks, including liver damage, increased risk of cancer, high blood pressure and weakened immunity.

  • Be a Sober Hero and sign up for Macmillan Cancer Support’s Go Sober for October challenge, being sponsored to give up booze from October 1 to 31. For more information, visit gosober.org.uk