A day of High drama

IT was arguably the most stressful moment of my career, and all because I hadn't checked my diary properly.

I'd looked at the wrong week, and thought I had no outside engagements. How wrong I was...

There I was, chairing the midday news conference, when my secretary burst into the office.

"You're supposed to be at Teesside High School at 12.45!" she said. "You're opening the new sixth form centre!"

It was 12.20pm by the time she'd given me a lightning-fast briefing. The school had asked me months earlier to perform the opening ceremony but, since then, they'd had confirmation that Charlotte Riley, former Teesside High pupil and now a Hollywood actress, would be coming.

They didn't want to offend me so I was sharing the ribbon-cutting duties with her. Oh, and I was expected to make a short speech. Aaaagh!

I had to get from Darlington to Eaglescliffe as quickly as was legally possible and  I made it with a minute to spare. It was when I saw the television cameras that the anxiety turned to panic. I hadn't prepared a single sentence, I was about to share a platform with a film star, and it was all going to be on telly.

In the mistaken belief that I had no public engagements that day, I hadn't shaved and wasn't wearing a tie. That meant a certain rollicking from my dear old mum when she watched the news.

As I desperately tried to collect my thoughts, and wiped beads of sweat from my brow, the school's principal, Deborah Duncan, introduced me to the crowd of pupils, teachers, governors and journalists.

One of the things we had in common, explained Deborah, was that we were both members of Darlington Operatic Society.  She could not have done anything to make the contrast more pronounced.

I was sharing a platform with an actress who is currently working on a film starring Tom Cruise, and who's starred in Wuthering Heights.

My brief acting career, on the other hand, had quickly sunk to the depths with a non-speaking, walk-on part in Titanic The Musical. I did little more than stroke a false beard – it really doesn't get much lower than that.

Somehow, I managed to make it through my speech in the foyer of the impressive new sixth form building without embarrassing myself. Then, the cameras quite rightly focused on the real star as she talked about her happy memories of Teesside High, where she first displayed her dramatic talents as Captain Hook in a prep-school production of Peter Pan.

For the record, Charlotte was down to earth, professional, and lovely. She chatted with pupils, posed for pictures, signed autographs, and happily gave TV interviews.

Quite understandably, not a single request for an interview, signature or selfie came the way of the z-list actor – though he did grovelling ask for a picture with Charlotte as a souvenir of a day of high drama.
I hereby solemnly promise that never again will I act so unprofessionally.