SO there I was, at Hartburn Primary School, near Stockton, this morning after delivering a story-writing workshop for the pupils.
I was invited into the staff room for a coffee and joined a number of female teachers enjoying their break.
One of them just happened to be eating an extraordinarily large piece of fruit and it was genuinely in all innocence that I stared at her, wide-eyed, and blurted out: "That has to be the biggest pear I've ever seen."
It sounded like a bad line from a Carry On film and I sincerely apologise. I doubt I'll be asked back.
Mind you, it was a whopper.
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