BORIS JOHNSON visited Teesside - Yarm, to be precise – recently as the General Election campaign continued apace.

Boris is always box office. People train cameras on the poor bloke in the hope that he’ll fall over or do something equally stupid like say something.

Ignoring the fact that there is a serious career politician underneath that blonde mop – you don’t just shamble into the biggest role in local government in the country, you know – there is a chance that a Boris Johnson appearance will gain more attention than, say, a Jeremy Hunt one.

So, there he was, bumbling around Yarm, visiting Conyers School whereupon he was treated to a chicken parmesan with chips and salad.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a Teesside immigrant, having been brought up on South Tyneside and Wearside before venturing south. And I’m a massive Parmo fan.

But I hate clichés. I despise the idea of a serious political debate being hijacked by a media-savvy politician forcing a 2,500 calorie takeaway into his face. Just like Nigel Farage is often pictured with a pint of mild, proving that he’s one of us.

Well he isn’t. And neither is Boris. Compared to the average bloke on the street, Boris and Farage could not be any less like us.

And I’m not sure that Boris piling into one of the most fattening dishes around can be a good thing for Teesside.

We’re constantly battling the negative stereotyping of Teesside and, as a region, the North-East.

Tories eating takeaways do little to help this agenda.

Maybe he could spend less time tucking into a Parmo and more time explaining to the people of the North-East how his party can help us. That might win a vote or two. Just a thought.

THINGS I haven’t done this week: spat in someone’s face; kicked over a drinks holder; kicked someone in the knee deliberately; had to be held back while trying to attack someone.

The notion that Premier League footballers are role models and should behave as such is complete tosh.

The unseemly sight of Papiss Cisse and Jonny Evans firing phlegm at each other this week was not exactly deserving of a wider audience, but it didn’t stop the news channels showing the incident on a loop throughout the day.

I’d like to give kids the benefit of the doubt. Surely they will know that spitting is a Very Bad Thing. Does playing a war video game such as Call Of Duty inspire them to wield a gun around an urban area? Does Grand Theft Auto persuade kids to nick your car keys and go for a spin?

Role models in life are teachers, parents, and family. If kids spend more time listening to them and less time trying to emulate millionaire footballers, they will be generally okay at life.

WE all got into a bit of a fuss about a young lad from Salford who turned up to his school’s World Book Day event dressed as Christian Grey, from Fifty Shades Of Grey.

I might be in the minority, but I thought it was funny and original. Sadly, the lad was punished for it. My experience of comprehensive school was similar. Try to be funny and original, and you’re put in your place.

Meanwhile, at another school, 23 girls turned up as Elsa from Frozen. I know who would have got my vote.

MY daughter was convinced I was in fancy dress the other day. I was wearing my new blue Gingham shirt - £8 from Primark – for work, but the little one wasn’t a fan.

She took one disparaging look at my garb and remarked: “You look like you’re dressed as a rubbish tablecloth.”