PAEDOPHILE Rolf Harris, 84, will soon be moving to Leyhill Open Prison, the so-called “Savoy of Slammers”, where we’ll be paying nearly £33,000 a year for his upkeep, though I’m not sure if that includes his £8 a week pension.

A number of prisons are now adapting parts of their buildings with special facilities for ageing prisoners so that they get appropriate care.

No way am I suggesting you go in for Harris-type abuse, but a little light criminality could save an awful lot of care home fees.