DEATH stalks the Street. Weatherfield residents fight for their lives after this week’s terrible events in ITV1’s Coronation Street – the explosion at the new bar and that tram toppling off the viaduct and onto the cobbles, demolishing a few shops along the way.

Who lives and who dies has yet to be answered, although the first funeral is next week – they don’t hang around in Corrie – and more will follow.

Exiting from a soap is never an easy business.

Killed in a disaster is one of the more extreme ways. If it’s not a coffin, it’s a cab. Very rarely does it end with a farewell party and a speech in praise of the departing person. But some manage to take their leave in the nicest way possible. Jack Duckworth’s recent demise was a weepy affair, complete with an “appearance” by his dead wife Vera, back from the grave to lead him on his way.

Births, deaths and marriages are the staple diet of soaps. There had, until this week, been 114 deaths in 50 years in Coronation Street. Some residents passed away off-screen of old age, such as popular characters Albert Tatlock and Stan Ogden. Blanche Hunt died in her sleep. Judy Mallett died while hanging out the washing, Ann Malone froze to death in a deep freeze. Tony Gordon died in a fire.

One of the most shocking deaths came in 1964 when Martha Longhurst, a stalwart of the Rovers snug bar with Ena and Minnie, slumped over her milk stout and never woke up.

Gail is very much alive and kicking, but must be the merriest widow of all with three deceased husbands to her name. The last, kitchen fitter Joe McIntyre, drowned while trying to fake his own death in The Lakes. Another, serial killer Richard Hillman, drowned after driving his car into the canal, with his wife and children in the back as unwilling accomplices in his suicide pact.

Yet another of Gail’s bedmates, Brian Tilsley, was stabbed coming out of a nightclub. Marrying Gail is like hooking up with a black widow spider.

Weatherfield is a pretty dangerous place altogether.

Murder most foul is never far away. Back in 1968, Steve Tanner was pushed down the stairs.

Samid Rachid suffered a fractured skull when attacked by thugs. Forty years later, Liam Connor was killed by a hit-and-run driver, paid for by Carla’s jealous lover.

As a serial killer, Richard Hillman kept detectives busy for several years. Wife Patricia was hit with a shovel, Maxine Peacock was battered with a crowbar. A wrench was the murder weapon when mechanic Tommy Harris was killed. The wench with the wrench was his daughter (who committed suicide). Builder Charlie Stubbs was bashed on the bonce with an ornament by lover Tracy Barlow.

Public transport has a lot to answer for – Ida Barlow was run over by a bus (afraid I don’t know which number) and Alan Bradley was famously run down by a tram in Blackpool while chasing Rita with evil intent.

The Barlows are an unfortunate clan. David, Darren and Susan all died in car crashes, perhaps forced off the buses by Ida’s unfortunate accident.

Then there was Valerie Barlow, Ken’s first wife who was electrocuted by a hair drier. Or maybe Ken bored her to death.

Just occasionally, real illnesses take soap favourites from the cobbles. Alma Halliwell died of cervical cancer and Ray Langton of stomach cancer.

It took Alzheimer’s and a heart attack to send Mike Baldwin to his grave.

Butcher and Rovers landlord Fred Elliott died of a stroke. I say, Fred died of a stroke.

The death toll in the first viaduct crash back in 1967 was small, with Sonia Peters crushed beneath the rubble. More will die this time as Corrie marks its 50th birthday.