ABOY, a girl and a kiss. What’s wrong with that? They’re just doing what comes naturally. If only the path of true love wasn’t as pockmarked with craters as our road with potholes.

Soapland has seen more than its fair – and decent – share of unlikely lip locking, but Emmerdale (ITV1) ventures into fresh territory as Sean plants one on Ruby’s ruby lips.

Teenager Sean is a newcomer to the world of romance and some may feel that kissing your mother’s girlfriend is taking the notion of keeping it in the family too far.

The trigger is the arrival of his dad, Desperate Dan, who was with Sean’s mum Ali before she hopped on another bus and became a couple with Ruby.

Sean’s upset because Dan and Ali have had an argument, so he runs off to the cricket pavilion – scene of many a misdemeanour – and Ruby follows to try to help.

They talk, Ruby teases him and before you can say how’s your father, Sean bowls a googly and kisses Ruby. Red faces all round with Sean running off, embarrassed by what he’s done.

Those sex education classes never touched on the question of kissing your mother’s lesbian lover. He doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going, Arthur or Martha – or Jiminy Cricket even.

Desperate Dan seizes the opportunity and declares that from now on Sean and his sister Amelia (who, as far as we know, hasn’t kissed anyone inappropriate) will be living with him.

Kim in EastEnders (BBC1) does know what she’s doing although that gets her into a spot of bovver. She wants to impress boyfriend Ray (no doubt to make up for slicing off his finger during a spot of cooking) and cheer up their love life. His son, Morgan, has left Walford and he’s feeling down in the dumps.

So Kim joins the Army. Sort of.

Ray used to be a soldier so she reckons dressing up in a saucy Army uniform will turn him on.

Isn’t her logic a bit dodgy? If he finds someone in a uniform sexy wouldn’t he have been in a permanent state of arousal on the parade ground? Just wondering.

What Kim hasn’t reckoned on is Ray opening the door with his daughter Sasha beside him, so Kim’s sexy army manoeuvres go down like a lead balloon.

And there’s more trouble for Kim when officials come knocking at her door to tell her that the name of her recentlyreopened B&B infringes copyright. She’s called it Kim’s Olympic Palace and we know how touchy 2012 officials are about the use of the word Olympic, which apparently belongs to them (does this mean I’ve just infringed copyright by writing it?).

Kim tries to make it up with Ray by chatting to Sasha. If only she hadn’t chosen to talk about the gory details of Big Hev’s murder and her enthusiasm for forensic science. No wonder an alarmed Sasha runs crying into her father’s arms.

Now let’s visit Weatherfield’s strip club in Coronation Street (ITV1) where Rita performs as Madame Fifi at the pensioners’ Wednesday afternoon social.

Only joking (it’s Emily not Rita).

Anyway on a boys’ night out Nick happens to visit said joint and who do they see performing but Kylie, David’s missing missus. Quickly getting David back to the cobbles before he sees Kylie at work, Nick then returns and tries to talk Kylie into returning home because David is missing her. There’s no one to make his tea and iron his balaclava.