Gary Delaney is a regular on TV on shows like Mock the Week and claims his gigs are not suitable for bairns or sensitive souls. He also writes jokes for TV programmes including 8 Out of 10 Cats and appears at Barnard Castle next month (April 25)

How did you get into comedy in the first place?

By being one of those weird guys on the fringes of comedy, working on sound desks at clubs, putting chairs out etc, who wanted to be involved, but not having the nerve, then finally getting up the nerve. I wrote a joke for an old friend who dabbled in Stand-up in the 1990s, Money saving Martin Lewis. He said it didn’t work. I said he wasn’t doing it right. He bet me I wouldn’t have the nerve to do it myself, I did, and the rest is history, or at least knob jokes.

Does appearing on TV and Radio require any special changes to your live stand-up material?

It has to be a lot cleaner. Nowadays all TV is petrified about offending special interest groups and lobbyists so everything has to be pretty mild. Live you can say what you want, which is much more fun.

Do you have any ‘no go areas’ in your overall approach to comedy?

Not really. I think the whole idea that there are subjects that are or are not suitable for comedy is utter nonsense. It’s either funny or it isn’t. A darker or ruder joke just has to be a bit better to justify its place in the show.

Who is your hero?

I think Pete Burns was probably my favourite.

Where is the most outrageous place you’ve ever performed?

I was doing an afternoon gig in a big tent for a load of hairy bikers. It was going really well. Then about 20 minutes in it went ballistic. I was getting the biggest laughs and cheers ever, the crowd were on their feet. I thought I was a genius and had discovered the secret of comedy. I hadn’t….

The sunlight was bright on the tent wall behind. Unknown to me a drunken biker had slipped out the gig and ‘craftily’ popped round the back of the tent for a wee, avoiding the huge queue for the portaloos. He didn’t realise that with the sun behind him he was making the perfect shadow puppet of a weeing man on the tent wall right behind me. If you’ve ever seen the Mannekin Pis in Brussels it was like that, but with a beard and leather jacket. Still well done to him, he nailed that gig, in fact I think he’s going to be on the next series of Britain’s Got Talent.

Do you have any back stage superstitions or rituals that you do before a gig that you can share with us?

In the last minute or so at the side of the stage I stretch (pointless really as I am not remotely physical on stage), take deep breaths, remind myself ‘I am good at this’, then take my inhaler and walk on.

You’ve written for TV and radio, how does that process work?

A bunch of writers sit around in a room being competitive with each other while an associate producer tries to keep things on track and harvest what is usable. Or sometimes if you’re lucky you can do it from home and just email it in. Writing is one of only two well-paid jobs you can do from home whilst still in your pants.

How do you see comedy developing in the UK over the next ten years?

TV will get blander and safer and eventually there will be a punk-like reaction against this new puritanism and people will go to see comics say things on the live circuit that they’re not allowed to say on the telly.

You are coming to Barnard Castle and Newton Aycliffe at the end of April with your new show Purist: what can the audience expect?

About six jokes a minute. I try not to bore the audience with stories or my opinions. Why do comics keep spouting their opinions on politics? Who cares? Just get on with being funny please. A comic’s opinions on politics are every bit as important as a butcher’s views on astronomy. I just try to make the audience laugh as many times as I can in an hour and a bit.

Do you have a printable one-liner four journalists?

Never bite the hand that feeds you. I’ve got tour tickets to sell. I need you guys. I used to have a nice one about Max Clifford I could tell you…

If Max Clifford is so good at PR, why does everyone think he’s such a… oh dear, we’ve run out of space.

  • Gary Delaney is appearing at The Witham, Barnard Castle, on April 25. Box Office: 01833-650-930 or funnywaytobe.com

April 29, Newton Aycliffe Planet Leisure, 01325-310989 or the Hilarity Bites website: shop.hilaritybites.co.uk