HOWDY partners, let’s saddle up and head way out East. That’s right – we’re not going to the Wild West but the Wild EastEnd to celebrate foxy Chelsea Fox’s birthday.

What better than taking the bull by the horns, putting on jeans and cowboy hats, and riding the mechanical bull. This only goes to prove right those who’ve been saying for some time that life in EastEnders (BBC1) is a load of bull.

Among those astride the bucking broncho is Jean. But not for long. She’s soon thrown off.

And Chelsea’s not having a good time either. She’s heading for a fall of an emotional kind, I reckon.

She’s embarrassed that her family have sent a photograph of her aged ten to the Walford Gazette for the birthdays page. At the hoedown, Chelsea decides the only way to get through the evening is to have a drink. Then another. Then another... you get the picture.

She can’t even get a birthday kiss. The DJ refues to pucker up with her and even Danny rejects her. So come on, everyone, wish her a Happy Birthday.

Jean’s daughter Stacey, of course, is not in any condition to ride a bull, mechanical or not.

She’s heavily pregnant and still considering whether to tell Ryan he’s the father. Before she can say anything, she is rushed off to the hospital.

Fill the Fug has problems of his own. Son Ben has stopped trying to be Billy Elliot and turned into Damian from The Omen. He’s being nasty to his half-sister Louise, whom Fill has taken in.

The question is, who locked Louise in the shed on the allotment? Well, we know it was Ben but he thinks by pretending to find her he’ll be hailed a hero.

More likely to get a clip round the ear from Fill the Fug, if you ask me.

In Coronation Street (ITV1), Becky the barmaid goes to jail. She hasn’t done anything wrong this time, she’s off to visit that little madam Toxic Tracy Barlow who has a plan to enable her to see more of her daughter Tracy, who’s being cared for by dad Steve and new wife Becky. Of course, the visit ends in a fight after Tracy, not the most tactful of women, makes a snide remark about Becky being unable to have children.

Graeme Proctor has two girls fighting for his attention. He’s a butcher, although butch isn’t the first word I’d use to describe him.

Anyway, Tina’s feeling grateful to him for looking after her as she came to terms with the death of her dad Joe.

Meanwhile, Rosie Webster, who normally goes for men with bulging wallets, agrees to go for a drink with him. Things don’t go well after he stops to help Tina through a fresh crisis. Rosie grows impatient and is mad when he finally turns up.

Emmerdale (ITV1). Jamie’s planning a new life in Cornwall, where the pasties come from, with girlfriend Gennie.

At least, that’s the plan. Then he walks in on Gennie having a heartto- heart with his dad Bob. It makes Jamie realise that he’s never got over discovering that the pair of them had a fling. His reaction is mild compared to that of Viv, Bob’s wife, when she discovers her husband slept with Gennie while she was in prison.

Devious Declan already has the controlling interest in Home Farm Estates, now he wants controlling interest of lady of the manor and husband-killer Natasha.

Already enjoying romance is mistress of the Woolpack Diane Sugden. She’s dumped dull Doug Potts and is whisked off to dinner in Paris by Charlie Haynes. He’s a right Charlie because he has what Corrie’s Rosie wants – a bulging wallet. Diane, of course, is only interested in his coq au vin on her French dinner date.