WE’VE said it before and we’ll say it again – good golly Miss Molly. What a load of trouble she attracts.

Now she’s pregnant and uncertain about the identity of the father in Coronation Street (ITV1).

Potential dad number one is her estranged husband Tyrone, the lumpy car mechanic. Potential dad number two is her former lover Kevin, the married car mechanic.

Whichever one is the daddy we can certain that the child will be able to do a service and oil change without too much trouble.

Molly has been serviced by both men, hence her doubts about the paternity of her unborn child.

Kevin, who’s trying to patch things up with his wife Silly Sally, is not pleased by news of her pregnancy. Determined to keep the truth from his missus, he demands she has a termination. And he sets fire to her baby scan to ram the point home.

Tyrone, lovable twit that he is, reacts entirely differently. He begs her to come home so he can look after her and that’s before he knows she’s up the duff. When he finds out, he’s overjoyed.

Gail the hamster is back behind bars – one cage is much like any other, don’t you think? – after a fracas at the funeral of her husband Joe the sunken sailor. His daughter Tina takes it badly and shops Gail to the police, informing them that she sent fake text messages after his death.

Soapland police respond by arresting Gail and charging her with Joe’s murder. Before you can say Bad Girls, she’s banged up in Weatherfield prison after being denied bail. She’ll meet another of Soapland’s residents inside after Lisa Dingle gets two months for hitting a policeman in Emmerdale (ITV1). Husband Zak is furious.

Who’ll doing all his cleaning and cooking while she’s behind bars?.

The cops would do better arresting Psycho Sally who arrives back in the village with a copy of Ten Things A Bunny Boiler Can Do under her arm. Scorned by Ashley the vicar and annoyed that his wife Laurel has returned to him, she plots revenge as she watches the reunited happy couple from afar.

They’re too caught up in their renewed happiness to worry when they smell gas at their home. They blame the Rev’s forgetful dad. He’s also lost his door key and no prizes for guessing who’s got their mitts on that.

Knowing that Laurel is away, Psycho Sally goes knocking on the Rev’s door and, being a kindly sort of vicar, he agrees to hear her confession. Just make sure, Ashley, that you lock up all sharp implements and hide the matches.

One disappearance Soapland’s PC Plods failed to solve was what happened to Owen Turner in EastEnders (BBC1). We know that Lucas buried him in the Square’s gardens (after killing him, of course). Now Lucas has, as the headline writers phrase it, grave concerns when people start digging around Trina’s memorial tree – under which Owen is buried.

Mo triggers the panic when her metal detector goes off near the tree and digging begins. Can Lucas persuade eager locals from digging deep and discovering Owen’s rotting corpse?

Sister Ronnie and Roxy Mitchell haven’t come to blows yet but it could happen as both want to buy Booty, the local beauty parlour.

Just think of all the free makeovers they could have. It’s anybody’s guess which of them will emerge victorious at the auction.

The worse sight of the week – even more gruesome than Archie’s murder – is Fill the Fug being romantic. Surely Shirley will be won back after he presents her with a big bunch. Bunch of flowers, that is, not a bunch of fives.