WHO said romance was dead? Michael and Gail the hamster are having a stroll, not hand-in-hand as they’ve been to the chippie and are clutching fish suppers. Now they’re walking the cobbles eating fish and chips out of a plastic container with a wooden fork. It’s not exactly a slap-up meal at the Ritz but then this is Weatherfield where putting ketchup on your chips is regarded as five-star dining.

Then Michael surprises Gail. He goes down one knee in Coronation Street (ITV1). No, he hasn’t spotted a penny someone’s dropped on the pavement. No, his knees haven’t given out. He’s adopted that position for a reason – to propose to Gail. And what he proposes is not a dirty weekend in Blackpool, but marriage.

Her answer isn’t what he expects or wants. She’s stunned into silence. Unable to stay on his knee any longer, Michael resumes the upright position, red-faced and disappointed. It takes Audrey to talk some sense into her daughter along the lines of "you have bad choice in men and he’s the best you can hope for".

Invigorated, Gail organises a surprise engagement party and goes down on one knee when Michael arrives. His reaction isn’t what she expects or wants. He collapses. His heart condition has been brought on by their heart-to-heart. Next thing he knows he’s coming round in bed (and Gail isn’t in it with him because it’s a hospital bed).

The omens aren’t good for his full recovery because there’s the problem of his son, Gavin. He’s not really Gavin (although you’d think a father would recognise his own son – perhaps Michael should have gone to SpecSavers), but an impostor. Gavin is getting all cuddly with fellow bistro worker Steph and admits he’s not Gavin. Being called that was putting him off his stroke because she screamed “Gavin, Gavin” in the heat of passion.

Megan in Emmerdale (ITV1) also has marriage on her mind. Well, she is a wedding planner for a living, so who better to organise a secret ceremony to surprise boyfriend Jai. Her mistake is asking business partner Leyla to help plan the nuptials. For Leyla is an old flame of Jai’s who still carries a torch for him – and wants to set fire to his relationship with Megan.

Megan had a rotten 2013, what will her brother and her son being killed. Setting up home with Jai and his son, Archie, is just what she needs to brighten up her life. Problem is that Leyla goes running to Jai to tell him she loves him. Bang goes a secret wedding, one to which the bridegroom may not turn up.

Adam and Victoria say “let’s do it” not “I do” as they get down and dirty in the Woolpack kitchen. How unhygienic, they’re not wearing rubber gloves or protective headgear (although I do hope they have protection). The pair have recently got back together, but were taking it steady. Alas, when Adam visits Victoria in the kitchen things, apart from the beef casserole, get hot. Let’s hope nobody finds a hair in their soup.

The feuding and fighting continues in EastEnders (BBC1) where Charlie Cotton goes berserk in the wake of wife Ronnie lying unconscious in hospital after a car crash. Doctors fear she may never regain consciousness. Ben is also angry, that he’s been used by Strictly Mad Max to incriminate his innocent father (if you can ever “innocent” in relation to Fill the Fug). He smashes up vehicles in the car lot, kisses pal Jay and then throws himself on girlfriend Abi. This lad is seriously confused.