WHAT’S that up there? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Andrea clinging on for dear life to the side of the Rovers Return in Coronation Street (ITV1).

Neil, the husband of whom she wants to be rid, is perched on the roof in a position that looks no less precarious. Ah well, the path of true love never did run smoothly.

Neil is doing his best – worst? – to break up wife Andrea and new lover Lloyd. It’s harassment in my book but Neil’s a cunning devil who makes it look like Lloyd is the villain of the piece when the police are called.

With Lloyd out of the way (sharing a cell with another Corrie resident Peter Barlow, perhaps) Neil reckons he can win Andrea back.

He resorts to desperate measures only to put her life in danger. I mean hanging on to the side of a building for grim death isn’t exactly a romantic date, is it?

Let’s hope that Andrea doesn’t fall for Neil – literally.

Talking of romance, Walford is preparing for another wedding with the word disaster written all over it in EastEnders (BBC1). This time it’s Fill the Fug and Sharon who are preparing to take their marriage vows.

This is unfortunate in a way because Fill the Fug has reacquainted himself sexually with old flame Surely Shirley. Whether he’s sure that Surely Shirley is surely the woman for him is surely up for debate.

She’s not a sure thing although he is caught snogging her this week.

How long before news reaches Shazza?

She, meanwhile, is busy trying to decide whether to marry Fill or head for the hills.

She’s out for revenge after discovering Fill was behind the attack on her. She plans to empty his bank account and teach him a lesson, although marrying him seems a rather extreme way of achieving this. Why not just steal his credit card?

So there are questions hanging over the marriage ceremony: will Sharon turn up? Will Fill turn up?

Will Surely Shirley turn up?

Will all three marry each other and live unhappily ever after? I have only one piece of advice for them – remember two’s company, three’s a crowd (especially in a single bed).

In Emmerdale (ITV1) a secret romance is uncovered by Paddy the vet.

The loved up couple are Vanessa and her toyboy Kirin, who’s still at college and finding vet Vanessa’s extra-curricular activities to his liking.

They’re discovered kissing at the vets surgery. There was never much hope of keeping their dangerous liaison a secret as they insist on tonguing each other as often as possible.

Vanessa decides to do the decent thing, having enjoyed the indecent thing. She and Kirin announce to the village they’re a couple. A couple of what I’ll let you decide.

As if Aaron cares, he’s been romping with the gay Barton brother Finn. Who knows if he has un-Finn-ished business or whether is this just a one-night stand.

At least Finn is friendlier that his bad boy brother Ross who doesn’t so much want to snog Aaron’s face as punch it.