THIS week two Emmerdale weddings pass far from peacefully. Next week in EastEnders (BBC1) there's a funeral in Albert Square with much bawling and brawling. The run-up to murdered Lucy Beale's funeral isn't very peaceful either. Her father Ian Beale is an emotional wreck who can't bring himself to believe Lucy is dead, but it's brought home to him when he's given the job of choosing the clothes she'll be buried in. First a chip shop entrepreneur, now a personal shopper.

It's all too much for Ian, so he flees to his former brother-in-law Christian's place, in Birmingham, to find his ex-wife, Jane. Ex doesn't mark this spot, but the two men have a good old natter, a bit of a cry and Christian promises to return to Walford for the funeral.

Back in the Square, Ian turns to a man who knows what it is to lose a child, Max Branning, unaware that Mad Max was having a secret affair with Lucy. At least, he's ignorant of that fact until the day of the funeral. This could result in another graveside punch-up, with someone very much alive ending up in the grave.

Max is the sort of "family friend" the Beales could do without, so it's not a good idea to ask him to carry the coffin when her twin brother, Peter, proves too distraught to shoulder the responsibility. You don't really need to be told that Ian loses it and violence ensues, do you?

Yet more secrets and lies uncovered in the Vic. Doesn't anyone in Walford tell the truth? Mick Carter reaches boiling point and determines to discover what cantankerous old dad, Stan, is keeping from him. Mick's solution is to throw his old dad in the bath and give him the cockerknee equivalent of waterboarding.

Over in Weatherfield, Tyrone and Fiz ask what are they going to do with a problem named Maria in Coronation Street (ITV1). She's revealed as Ty's secret stalker, after the alleged perpetrator, his mad ex, Kirsty, is found to be living abroad. Maria - unhinged since discovering her ex-gay fiancé in bed with another man - has been pursuing Ty in an effort to take him away from Fiz.

Another secret affair becomes less of a secret as Rob cottons on that Peter Barlow and Temptress Tina have been in a horizontal hold. Rob is none too pleased to realise Peter has been doing the dirty on his wife, Carla, and Rob's sister who's rushed to hospital (following the rule that births in Soapland never proceed smoothly).

Gail the hamster is on the trail of another loved-up couple - daughter-in-law, Leanne, and her new employer, Kal. Gail should be paying more attention to customers at Kal's gym, where she's the new receptionist, but is snooping on Leanne, unaware that she and Kal have already been doing exercises of a jiggy-jiggy nature in the bedroom.

Cunning Charity, in Emmerdale (ITV1), never misses an opportunity to get something over on someone she dislikes. In this case it's Meddling Megan, sister of Charity's beau, Declan. Charity has a secret termination (of the baby she doesn't want) and then manages to fake a miscarriage and blame Megan. As devious plans go, this is ruthless, but just what you'd expect from Charity