HERE we go again. It’s time to play another game of “who’s the daddy?”. You’d think by now that the residents of Soapland would not only be more careful and use contraception, but would make a note of who they sleep with in case they put a bun in the oven.

The pregnant girl is Cindy, (EastEnders, BBC1) whose mother Cindy (try not to get confused) was a bad lot and employed a hit man to dispose of husband Ian (so much cheaper than divorce proceedings).

Ian, who survived the shooting, believes that the young Cindy has terminated her pregnancy. When he finds out she hasn’t he wants to know who’s responsible and concludes, using his amazing powers of deduction, that a man was responsible... Liam Butcher.

Ian marches round to the Butcher household, where Terry, Bee-anchor’s new boyfriend, has taken up residence with son TJ.

Things do not go well as TJ is revealed as the guilty party. Soon TJ and Liam are going for each other’s throats, and are restrained by their families. Why can’t they fight in the Vic like other Walford residents?

Fill the Fug has other things on his mind. Da-Do-Ron-Ronnie is back in town from her holiday in Ibiza, where she fled after murdering Carl. Not everyone is glad to see her and it’s not the red dress that offends people.

Sharon, currently co-habiting with Fill the Fug, makes Da-Do- Ron-Ronnie feel as comfortable as a vegetarian at a hog roast. She knows that Da-Do-Ron-Ronnie clobbered Carl as boyfriend Fill was forced to tell her after finding a bloodstained phone.

“Get out of town or I’ll reveal you as a murderer,” Sharon tells Da-Do-Ron-Ronnie. “Get stuffed,”

(or words to that effect) “I don’t care what you do,” Da-Do-Ron- Ronnie replies. She knows that she’s a Mitchell and Fill will always stick by his family.

Belle in Emmerdale (ITV1) is another murderer. But she has a conscience. Besides it was accidental. She pushed best friend Gemma who fell and hit her head on a rock. When she confesses all to mum Lisa, the Dingles pull together to cover up Belle’s role in the death.

LET’S move on to something happier and look for romance in Coronation Street (ITV1).

Some hope. Dodgy Dev fancies Steely Stella, although the feeling isn’t mutual. But it’s his birthday and she suggests going out for a drink. His hopes are raised when she invites him home for a nightcap. He thinks he’s in for more than a cup of cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream on the top.

But as he puckers up and moves in for a snog, something disastrous happens. His friends spring out from behind the sofa and say, “surprise, surprise”, leaving Dev suitably red-faced. At least he hadn’t got around to taking off his trousers.

Another snog causes problems for Eileen. The green-eyed monster surfaces after she sees her ex, Tony, and Liz kissing. When Deirdre invites both friends for lunch you can imagine what the conversation is about.

Eileen has a go at Liz and makes her disapproval of her relationship with Tony quite clear. But will Liz take this lying down? Based on her past behaviour with men that’s exactly the position she’ll adopt with Tony. It’s her favourite position.

There’s a new man in Weatherfield so naturally enough Tina is taking an interest in him.

This is Luke, brother of Steph with whom Tina is about to share digs.

Soon the two are exchanging flirty glances over a plate of meat pie, chips and peas. Not exactly romantic but then Temptress Tina is up for anything, anywhere.