BOOKMAKERS aren’t stupid, so if they’re offering odds of 200-1 about something, it generally means it won’t happen.

But having watched a fair bit of North-East football this season, I can’t help but wonder whether Irish bookies Paddy Power might regret offering 200-1 about Middlesbrough, Newcastle and Sunderland all being relegated this season.

I don’t think it’ll happen – but I certainly don’t think it’s worth a grand to a fivepound bet either.

Last weekend was a dismal one for North-East football, with all three of the region’s Premier League sides losing, but it was hardly a unique occurrence.

Saturday was the third occasion this season when all three of the North-East’s big guns have lost on the same weekend. Three more blank returns between now and mid-May, and next season’s Championship fixture list could make seriously unpleasant reading.

Make no mistake about it, Middlesbrough, Newcastle and Sunderland are all poor enough to go down. Instead of being a hotbed, the North-East has become the sickbed of the English game.

Middlesbrough will go into next week’s matches as the worst-placed of the trio, and when it comes to forecasting what will happen over the next three months, the threat of relegation appears to hang heaviest over the Riverside.

Boro don’t score enough goals, and when push comes to shove in the final weeks of a relegation campaign, putting the ball in the net is all that matters.

The Teessiders boast arguably the best defence in the North-East, and for much of the season, their midfield approach play has been better than that of either of their rivals.

But a tally of 18 goals in 22 matches tells its own story. Boro’s goalscoring record is the worst in the league, and unless things improve quickly, their impotence will be the source of their downfall.

Afonso Alves has been an unmitigated disaster following a £12.7m clubrecord transfer from Heerenveen, Jeremie Aliadiere is likely to be sidelined for another six weeks, and Mido threw his toys out of the pram weeks ago.

Gareth Southgate is desperately trying to swap the volatile Egyptian for someone who might actually want to play for the club, but mention of Marlon Harewood or Marlon King hardly inspires confidence.

Boro’s survival bid looks like it will go to the wire, and that’s before we even mention a dressing room that has been damaged by Stewart Downing and Gary O’Neil’s desire to leave.

Newcastle’s dressing room has resembled a boxing gym in recent weeks, and the Magpies have gone into meltdown at the worst possible stage of the season.

The club is in crisis from top to bottom, and last weekend’s 3-0 defeat at Blackburn, with the assorted subplots that accompanied it, certainly felt like the beginning of the end.

Joe Kinnear’s squad is wafer thin, with a crippling injury list and a catalogue of players who are simply not good enough combining to produce a seemingly unstoppable surge towards the bottom three.

New signings, for all of Kinnear’s bluster, are likely to be short-term loans at best, so the players that will have to dig Newcastle out of their current hole are the same players that have contributed to a record of just four wins from 18 matches under the Irishman.

Actually, that’s not exactly true. They might well be the same players, minus a certain Shay Given.

And if that’s not an unpalatable enough prospect, it would be considerably worse if Michael Owen was to suffer a hamstring injury and be out for six weeks.

For all the hand-wringing over his refusal to sign a new contract, Owen is pretty much the only match-winner in the current Newcastle squad.

An injury to a notoriously injury-plagued player, and the Magpies will turn from relegation candidates to relegation certainties.

Sunderland are in a slightly safer position, as they boast two centreforwards capable of conjuring something from nothing.

Djibril Cisse and Kenwyne Jones do not link up together, and in some respects their lack of a partnership is a hindrance rather than a help. But they score, and if everything else goes out of the window in the next three months, the pair should still contribute a dozen crucial goals.

Beyond that, Sunderland are in as much of a mess as their regional rivals. They are short of defensive numbers, and continue to display a brittleness that suggests confidence remains fragile. One little setback, and the wheels immediately fall off.

The Black Cats have lost six home matches this season – no Premier League side has lost more – and their record at the Stadium of Light will have to improve if they are to retain their top-flight status.

The uplift that accompanied Ricky Sbragia’s appointment as interim manager dissipated as soon as he was confirmed as Roy Keane’s permanent successor, and the midfield weaknesses that have plagued Sunderland all season currently appear more damaging than ever.

On paper, the Black Cats look to be better than their league position suggests.

But the same has been true all season, and they’re currently in the bottom six.

With Newcastle a place above them, all three North- East sides are stranded in the bottom seven. They’re in the thick of a relegation battle, and matches are rapidly running out.

Odds of 200-1 suggest the worst will probably not happen, but that’s only because three Premier League sides are even worse.

Hardly ideal, but then faint praise is the only praise the North-East sides are likely to get at present.