MY wife says I must be the biggest TV critic in Britain and I cannot disagree with that remark.

I cannot watch anything on the box without thinking who on earth writes this drivel, it is so unbelievable. Especially Coronation Street. 

I thought this was originally written to portray ordinary working class people in a typical two up two down terraced house. In Corrie these houses must have multiple rooms with rubber walls when it shows all the characters descending those stairs. 

Husbands and wives, partners, lovers, lodgers, children and their sleepover friends. To me, it reminds me more of a Glasgow tenement. 

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Where do they park all their cars? That street seems pretty devoid. These days most households have at least one car. We all know some that have two or even three. 

How do their rubbish bins get emptied when they are left out in that narrow ginnel at the rear? All these things fill my mind. I can’t be the only one. 

Now that we have this coronavirus pandemic to cope with people in Weatherfield are in their own little bubble. All the pubs, cafes and everyday facilities are all open. But, they must wear face coverings. Have you seen their palaver? They take their mask off entering premises and you see them taken them off when they leave premises. 

They wear their covering going into the hospital but when they enter the ward to visit a patient, off it comes. So unbelievable. 

Did you see Fizz in Fridays episode? She was in the Rovers having a conversation with someone. 

Can’t remember who, when she said she was just popping to the toilet then, would you believe it? On went her mask. Explain that, someone. 

I believe a different person writes different episodes week on week. So many characters, so many story lines to keep up with. One that has this household puzzled and how it is going to pan out is that young couple with their quads and a toddler. You’ll know their name but we cannot recall. We saw the quads when they were new-born but now they are just a memory. 

They are all upstairs. We think they will have to be written out somehow. Theories abound.

Again, back to Fizz and Friday’s episode. Little does Tyrone know but she is making plans to whisk him off to Greece to get him to marry her. At the drop of a hat, no problem, and all set up on her credit card. Just like that. 

You couldn’t make it up. Yes you can. They just did. I could go on but I’m afraid I would end up barred from Hear All Sides for ever.

Doug Porthouse, Ferryhill