THE Government’s Education Department are to continue to crack down on the Mickey Mouse courses that have plagued the school education system.

GSCEs in balloon artistry, sugar confectionery and tap dancing will be replaced by more traditional subjects.

Over the years hundreds of courses offering worthless qualifications have been binned off in a bid to drive up educational standards.

But beware, once your school education is over and you start searching for employment, you won’t have to wait too long before Mickey Mouse syndrome returns with a vengeance courtesy of the Government’s back-to-work programmes.

They have joined up with Mickey and his pals to unleash courses the school education system has been desperately trying to ban.

Tearing a newspaper to shreds then piecing it together will bag you a qualification in teamwork.

A stroll in your local park gets you a certificate in planning and organising a short walk. And balancing fluffy marshmallows on top of one another other bags you a diploma in confectionery construction.

With qualifications of this calibre employers will be literally queuing round the block to take you on.

In the land of Mickey anything is possible.

Stephen Dixon, Redcar