SCIENTISTS at Newcastle University have concluded that the way to lessen the detrimental effects of a high calorie, fatty takeaway meal, like fish and chips, is to eat a smaller portion.

Amazing! Whoever would have thought?

I’m sure this will propel Newcastle up the international league table of groundbreaking scientific research.

I wonder how much cheaper the research would have been had they just asked the question to a class of nine year olds, who would undoubtedly have come to the same conclusion.

G Carr, Aycliffe Village