The Headline Challenge is played every weekday morning on the BBC Tees breakfast show (95fm). Peter Barron comes up with a funny story from around the world and challenges listeners to produce a better headline than his. Points are awarded for the best headline each day and it's double-points for a song title, film, play or book.

WEEK 1

JAN 4: A married builder, called Alberto, dug a tunnel between his home in Mexico and his lover's house. Whenever her husband was at work, he'd nip down the tunnel for an illicit encounter with 'Pamela', but was caught red-handed when the husband came home early one day. Alberto vanished behind the settee and it was only then that the husband discovered the secret tunnel. He followed it to Alberto's house where a confrontation led to fisticuffs and the police being called.

PETE: A FIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL (0)
BBC: TONIGHT, I EXCAVATE MY LOVE FOR YOU (2)

JAN 5: Tiawanese taxi driver Tu Ching Liang is offering passengers free rides in return for them singing a karaoke song during the journey. He's been so succcessful, he's now launched a YouTube channel with all the recordings.

PETE: SOMEWHERE UBER THE RAINBOW (2)
BBC TEES: CARPOOL KARAOKE (2)

JAN 6: A romantic man has gone viral after his first date ended up with him sliding uncontrollably down a muddy hill 'like Bambi on ice'. Kieran Essen was on the date in Edinburgh when he started to slide away from his date who filmed his embarrassment.

PETE: HE WAS A DATE SLIPPER (2)
BBC: THAT'LL BE THE DATE THAT I SLIDE (4)

JAN 7: Teesside kids use great-grandma's dentures to make their snowman smile.

PETE: GRIN AND BRRRRR IT (2)
BBC TEES: DENTURE WISH YOUR SNOWMAN WAS COLD LIKE ME? (6)

The Northern Echo:

JAN 8: A postman has been awarded nearly £40,000 for unfair dismissal after he was sacked for urinating in a layby during his round in Watford. Roo Rawal was dismissed for gross misconduct after being filmed in mid-wee by a member of the public but he successfully argued that he knew 12 other postman who'd all urinated on duty without being sacked.

PETE: SPLASH ON DELIVERY (2)
BBC TEES: URINE THE MONEY(8)
 

WEEK 2

JAN 11: A dog walker at Winlaton on Tyneside called police after discovering what he thought was a human toe poking out of the soil in a field. A police search team was despatched but, rather than human remains, it turned out to be a potato with a mushroom growing next to it.

PETE: FEET AND TWO VEG (0)
BBC TEES: MIXED-UP-ME-TOES-IES (1)

The Northern Echo:

JAN 12: An Indian takeaway has launched a samosa and spicy nan wrap into space before it crashed landed in France. The Chai Walla, in Bath, used helium filled balloons to transport the food on its epic journey.

PETE: I'M A ROCKET NAN (4)
BBC TEES: ONE SMALL STEP FOR NAN - A GIANT LEAP FOR NANKIND (2)

JAN 13: Honey the calf loves nothing more than snuggling up with her canine friends and watching TV programmes after being taken into a family's home. The Northmore family, in Ivybridge, in Devon, have been pampering 10-months-old honey since she was born unwell after a caesarean section.

PETE: IS IT TIME FOR MOO-NIVERSITY CHALLENGE? (4)
BBC TEES: MOO THE KEYHOLE (4)

JAN 14: Simba, the cat, has been revealed as an escapologist thanks to a secret camera. Simba's owner Amy Kennedy couldn't work out how Simba kept appearing in rooms around the house in Chester, despite being locked downstairs overnight. She set up a camera and discovered that Simba had learned to jump up onto door handles and use his weight to open the doors.

PETE: MISSION IM-PUSS-IBLE (8)
BBC TEES: CURIOSITY THRILLED THE CAT (4)

JAN 15: Megan Kennedy asked her two grandmas to fill in as bridesmaids after Covid got in the way of her plans for a big wedding to Thomas Cahoon. Megan originally planned to have 10 bridesmaids but was limited to just 15 guests - so Gillian Holloway, 80, and Mary Kennedy, 90, filled in at the wedding in Dulwich.

PETE: STAND BY YOUR NAN (8)
BBC TEES: SOMETHING OLD (5)

WEEK 3

JAN 18: A cockatoo has helped with a marriage proposal in Australia. Euli delivered a note to a woman called Erin during a bird show at Australia Zoo, in Queensland. It contained a proposal from Erin's boyfriend, Jesse, who dropped down on one knee.

PETE: JUST THE COCKATOO OF US (2)
BBC TEES: WHEN COCKATOO BECOMES ONE  (0)

JAN 19: The Kraft Heinz company is looking to recruit a graduate to spend a year driving round American cities in "The Wienermobile" - a vehicle shaped like a giant hot dog.

PETE: CITY BANGER VAN, CITY-CITY BANGER VAN. CITY BANGER VAN, CITY-CITY BANGER VAN (4)
BBC: HOTDOG, JUMPING FRONT - ON THE WAY TO ALBUQUERQUE (2)

Oscar Mayer Wienermobile

JAN 20: A pigeon, named after Joe Biden, has been reprieved after facing a death sentence. Joe was going to be killed after being found in a Melbourne backyard because a ring on his leg suggested he'd flown in from Oregon, 13,000 miles away. He would have been a risk of spreading disease but further inquiries have concluded he's an Aussie bird, so he can live.

PETE: STAY OF EXE-COO-TION (4)
BBC: FAKE COOS (3)

JAN 21: A British birdwatcher has stumbled across buried treasure of 1,300 gold coins from the Iron Age during a walk in the countryside. The coins date back to the reign of warrior queen Boudica. Neither the birdwatcher nor the location are being identified.

PETE: AFTER THE GOLD THRUSH (4)
BBC: FROM RAGS TO TWITCHERS (4)

JAN 22: Mechanic Adrian James spends every spare penny on his bizarre hobby - making rabbit suits so he can live a double life as a bunny. Being furloughed from his job has given the Milford Haven dad-of-three more time for his obsession, and he now has seven rabbit suits costing £12k.

PETE: YOU KNOW I'LL BEG, STEAL OR BURROW (4)
BBC: SHOW ME THE BUNNY (5)

WEEK 4

JAN 25: Scottish butcher Simon Howie has marked Burns Night by sending a haggis to the edge of space. Simon launched the haggis on a weather ballon from the village of Dunning and it soared 20 miles above the earth before landing back in Scotland.

PETE:  THAT'S AN OFFAL LONG WAY TO GO (0)
BBC: TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO CLAN HAS GONE BEFORE (1)

The Northern Echo:

JAN 22: Colorado animal lover Seleta Nothnagel has spent $10,000 to pay for heart surgery to save her pet chicken's life. She loves Blue the chicken so much she even sleeps beside her.

PETE:  OOH, YOU'RE MY BEST HEN (2)
BBC: PECK-XUAL HEALING (1)

JAN 27: An American robotics company has released a video showing four of its robots dancing. The video by Boston Dynamics, based in Massachusetts, has gone viral.

PETE: YOU ARE THE DANCE MACHINE, YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN (2)
BBC: I’M IN THE MODE FOR DANCING (3)

JAN 28: A bedding company, called Sleep Junkie.com is advertising a job in which the lucky applicant will earn $3,000 for testing mattresses for two months.

PETE: MAKING THE BEST OF A BED JOB (2)
BBC: GET YOU MONEY FOR NODDING AND YOUR KIPS FOR FREE (5)

JAN 29: Bud, the crisp-loving parrot, is able to fly again after being put on a diet at an RSPCA centre in Norfolk. Bud got so overweight eating crisps that he kept crashing every time he tried to take off.

PETE: ON A CRASH FLY-ET (3)
BBC: POLLY-UN-FATURATED (5)

WEEK 5

FEB 1: Florida guitarist Frank Maglio has taught his pet parrot, Tico, to sing along to songs by The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Bon Jovi.

PETE: LET IT BEAK (0)
BBC: WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY TWEETS (2)

FEB 2: The old Gaiety Cinema, in Thirsk, has been converted into a car showroom.

PETE: GONE WITH THE WINDSCREEN (2)
BBC: A FISH CALLED HONDA  (4)

FEB 3: Employees of a software firm in Santa Barbara, California, moved out of their headquarters to work from home during the lockdown - and 20,000 bees have now taken over their empty offices.

PETE: WORKING NINE TIL HIVE (2)
BBC: STAY IN A HIVE – BY THE BEE GEES (8)

FEB 4: New York musicians Elizabeth Hart and Ivan Diaz Mathe have recorded an album made up of the sounds made by the in-utero movements of their unborn baby.

PETE: UTERUS ARE EVERYTHING (THE SWEETEST SONG THAT I CAN SING, OH BABY) (8)
BBC: LOVE IS ULTRASOUND ME (8)

FEB 5: A mum has revealed on Facebook how she was left mortified by her little boy while he was having a Zoom home-schooling lesson. She was on the toilet when he burst in and asked her to unmute his iPad - with the camera on!

PETE: THE BOTTOM OF THE CLASS (8)
BBC: HOME STOOLING (9)

WEEK 6

FEB 8: A cow, named Posh Spice, has sold for a record £262,000 at in auction in Carlisle after being bred at a farm in Shropshire.

PETE: VIVA FOR HEIFER (2)
BBC: WHEN MOO BECOMES ONE (2)

FEB 9: Norwegian athlete Jonas Felde Sevaldrud has unofficially broken a world record after running a half marathon, barefoot in the snow, in 1 hour 44 minutes and 58 seconds.

PETE: SNOWHERE TO RUN TO (2)
BBC: SNOW FARRAH (3)

FEB 10: The Royal Navy has launched an investigation into allegations that submarine officers have been caught making sexy movies at Faslane, in Scotland.

PETE: TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES UNDIE THE SEA (2)
BBC: FIFTY SHADES OF BATTLESHIP GREY (7)

FEB 11: Texas lawyer Rod Ponton has become an internet sensation after a computer filter turned him into a cat during a virtual court hearing.

PETE: MIAOW DO YOU PLEAD? (2)
BBC: THE BARRISTER CATS (9)

FEB 12: An animal shelter in Kentucky is offering those who've been dumped the chance to get their revenge and mend their broken hearts. For a donation to Lexington Humane Society, you can have your ex-lover's name written on a cat litter tray "to be dumped on".

PETE: LITTER SWEET SYMPATHY (2)
BBC: BREAKING UP IS HARD TO POO (11)

WEEK 7

FEB 15: Romance is alive and well in Otley, where personalised pork pies have been a big hit for Valentine's Day at Middlemiss Butcher's shop.

PETE: I LOVE YOU CRUST THE WAY YOU ARE (0)
BBC: MY PIES ADORED YOU (2)

FEB 16: Ukrainian couple Alexander and Viktoria have been welded together with chains around their wrists for three months to test the strength of their love. They have to choose whether to use gents or ladies public toilets, and they have special zips to enable them to dress and undress without having to do contortions.

PETE: ALL THE LOVE IN THE WELD (2)
BBC: THAT’S THE LOCK, THAT’S THE LOCK, THE LOCK OF LOVE (2)

FEB 17: Novelist Cathy Hayward, of Brighton, has revealed that she does the gardening when she sleepwalks - and has found herself naked in the back garden, watering her plants.

PETE: A DOZE BETWEEN THORNS (3)
BBC: BARE NAKED DAISIES (2)

FEB 18: An ice hockey match that lasted day and night for 252 hours has set a world record and raised $1.8m for cancer research. Forty players were involved in the match in Alberta, Canada, and more than 5,000 goals were scored.

PETE: I'M UP ALL NIGHT TO GET PUCKY (5)
BBC: THE MIGHTY PUCKS (2)

FEB 19: A young woman has accepted a proposal from her boyfriend - a day after she survived being mauled by a tiger. Somer Stevens, 18, is lucky to be alive after she slipped at Tiger Haven, in Tenessee, and a tiger called Eeyore grabbed her arm through the wire of its enclosure. Her boyfriend came to the rescue, using a bamboo stick to prize open the tiger's jaws, and has now asked Somer to marry him.

PETE: MAUL YOU NEED IS LOVE (5)
BBC: THE I’LL DO OF THE TIGER (8)

WEEK 8

FEB 22: A woman has been bitten on the bottom by a bear hiding in an outdoor toilet in Alaska. Stannon Stevens has vowed to 'look before she sits' from now on after suffering a minor puncture wound down below.

PETE: YOU'RE BUM-BEAR-LIEVABLE (2)
BBC: ANOTHER ONES THE BUTT (2)

FEB 23: An appeal has gone out for volunteers to read books to the inmates at a shelter for abused farm animals in Australia. Edgar's Mission, near Lancefield, in Victoria, has discovered that reading to the animals reduces their anxiety.

PETE: WAR AND GEESE (2)
BBC: DONKEY-OTE (10)

FEB 24: A teddy bear, called Rainbow, has been taken hostage in Ayrshire, with a ransom note demanding two sausage rolls "or else".

PETE: I WANT YOUR SNACK, I WANT YOUR SNACK, I WANT YOUR SNACK, FUR GOOD (4)
BBC: YOU KNOW I’LL GREGGS, STEAL OR BORROW (10)

FEB 25: A sheep nicknamed Baarack has been sheared of 35kg of wool after being found living in the wild in Australia.

PETE: PLEASE DE-FLEECE ME (6)
BBC: THE SHORN SHEEP REDEMPTION (14)

FEB 26: Police chiefs in Pakistan's biggest city, Karachi, have put an armed rollerblading unit on the streets to thwart crime.

PETE: ROLLO-COP (12)
BBC: THE S-WEEEEEEEE-NEY (14)

WEEK 9

MAR 1: A guard dog was put to the test during an armed robbery training exercise at a jewellery store in Thailand...but he slept all the way through it!

PETE: DIAMONDS SNORE FOR ROVER (6)
BBC: SNORE PATROL (0)

MAR 2: Work is about to begin on building the first hotel in space, complete with restaurants, cinemas, and room for 400 guests. It could even be operational by 2027.

PETE: CALLING OCCUPANTS OF PREMIER INN-TERPLANETARY CRAFT (8)
BBC: INN DEEP SPACE (2)

MAR 3: A passenger plane had to make an emergency landing after the pilot was attacked by an "angry and aggressive" cat. The plane was flying from Doha to Qatar but diverted to Khartoum.

PETE: ON A WING AND A PURRRRRR (5)
BBC: AND I CAN’T FLIGHT THIS FELINE ANYMORE (2)

MAR 4: The National Lottery has teamed up with a brewery in a bid to find the owner of a £1m winner ticket. The Backyard Brewery in Walsall has been commissioned to brew 100 bottles of a blonde beer called "Just The Ticket" to publicise the missing ticket that was bought at a shop in the town.

PETE:  BREW WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? (8)
BBC: BLOTTO (4)

MAR 5: A "terrible" karaoke enthusiast has been fined £2,748 and banned from singing after his loud late-night performances led to 150 complaints. Jason Harvey, of Romford, who specialised in Abba songs but had a wide repertoire, was prosecuted under the Environmental Protection Act.

PETE: GIMME GIMME GIMME A BAN AFTER MIDNIGHT (10)
BBC: MAMAMIA – HERE WE GO AGAIN (4)

The Northern Echo:

WEEK 10

MAR 8: Animal lover Tiffany Robins got a shock when her female pet rabbit, Vader, gave birth to a record equalling 24 babies in North Carolina - because she thought her male rabbit, Romeo, had had the snip.

PETE: RABBIT ON THE SIDE (0)
BBC: WATERSNIP DOWN (4)

MAR 9: A man called Terry Boot has taken over from Peter Foot as Financial Director of footwear retailer Shoe Zone.

PETE: THE SHOE MUST GO ON (6)
BBC: LOOKS LIKE THE BOOTS ON THE OTHER FOOT (4)

MAR 10: Baz, the randy ram, has been given 'the snip' because his over-energetic love-making on a farm near Brisbane has left him crippled with arthritis and he keeps falling over and injuring himself whenever he tries to mate.

PETE: I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH EWE (6)
BBC: RAMALAMA DING-DONG (6)

MAR 11: A Florida musician called Prince Midnight has paid tribute to his dead Uncle Filip by having a guitar made out of his skeleton, and says he would have heartily approved.

PETE: SKULL'S OUT FOREVER (6)
BBC: WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY CREAKS (8)

MAR 12: A burglar, who broke into a house in the German town of Schwelm, has been caught after his DNA was found on a half-eaten sausage.

PETE: BANGER TO RIGHTS (7)
BBC: SNACK & TRACE (9)

WEEK 11

MAR 15: Zac, one of the world's oldest donkeys, has died at his home in Victoria, Australia, at the aged of 36. Zac had become a celebrity and now locals in Pyarmid Hill are campaigning for a memorial to him.

PETE: MULE NEVER WALK ALONE (0)
BBC: DONKEY GONE (4)

MAR 16: Eagle-eyed TV viewers spotted a football referee having a wee in the centre circle before a cup match in Brazil. Denis da Silva Ribeiro Serafim had the sneaky leak without pulling his shorts down after being caught short before the match between Boavista and Goias.

PETE: WEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS (2)
BBC: REFERWEE (4)

MAR 17: Poor old Thor the lion has had to have 'the snip' at Royal Burgers' Zoo in Arnhem, The Netherlands, because he was so prolific with his love-making that he was in danger of over-populating the gene pool.

PETE: IT'S A THOR POINT (3)
BBC: IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE, THE LION’S SNIPPED TONIGHT (6)

MAR 18: An Indian restaurant in Glasgow is trialling takeaways using a drone. The Shish Mahal has teamed up with drone pilot John Crawford to deliver curries by air.

PETE: KORMA FLY WITH ME (4)
BBC: NAA NAA NAA! VINDERFLU! VINDERFLU! NAA NAA (8)

MAR 19: TV personality Nadia Essex has revealed that she caught her boyfriend cheating when she received a notification from his Fitbit wristband showing he'd suddenly burnt 500 calories in the middle of the night.

PETE: A FITBIT ON THE SIDE (5)
BBC: IT’S TRAINING MEN (8)

WEEK 12

MAR 22: A Russian couple broke into a deserted cinema in St Petersburg, stole popcorn and drinks, and spent the night making love before making their exit. Now the cinema wants to offer them free tickets because they tidied up after themselves so well.

PETE: DID YOU FEEL THE EARTH MOVIE? (1)
BBC: RA-RA GOT-SHUT-IN, LOVERS OF THE RUSSIAN SCREEN (2)

MAR 23: Oxclose Farm, between Willington and Brancepeth, has had an unusual delivery - one of its cows has given birth to triplets.

PETE: MOO'S COMPANY, THREE'S A CROWD (2)
BBC: MOO MOO MOO, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (2)

MAR 24: A California wine company is advertising a job, offering a $10,000 monthly salary, with free accommodation, and 30 cases of wine to sample. The Murphy-Goode Winery wants to give the right candidate the chance to find out more about working in the industry.

PETE: WORKING VINE TIL FIVE, WHAT A WAY TO MAKE A LIVING (6)
BBC: GRAPE EXPECTATIONS (2)

MAR 25: A photograph of a woman driving through Alabama, with a swarm of bees inside the car, has gone viral.

PETE: BABY YOU CAN HIVE MY CAR (6)
BBC: HIVE-WAY TO HELL (4)

The Northern Echo:

MAR 26: Neighbours living near a lake in Northampton are being plagued by Cedric the swan, who keeps knocking on their doors and rattling their letter-boxes. He has now been nicknamed the ASBO swan because he's such a noisy nuisance.

PETE: YOU CAN WING MY BELL (8)
BBC: SOME SWAN’S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR, SOME SWAN’S RINGING THE BELL (4)

WEEK 13

MAR 29: Two young women in Orlando have been caught dressing up as old grannies to try to cheat their way into getting their Covid-19 jabs early.

PETE: THE OLDEST PRICK IN THE BOOK (0)
BBC: MRS DOUBTPFIZER (4)

MAR 30: A group of Trappist monks at an abbey in Burgundy are praying for buyers to come forward after lockdown left them with 2.8 tonnes of surplus cheese. The monks produce the cheese at Citeaux Abbey to sell in their shop, but the pandemic has decimated business, so they've launched an emergency sale...

PETE: HALLOWED BRIE THY NAME (0)
BBC: BLESSED BE THE CHEESEMAKERS (5)

MAR 31: A mafia fugitive has been caught in his Caribbean hideaway after he gave himself away by making YouTube videos to show off his cookery skills. Marc Feren Claude Biart hid his face but was tracked down by his distinctive tattoos.

PETE: MOBSTER THERMIDOR (0)
BBC: SCONE CORLEONE (6)

APRIL 1: Husband and wife Stewart and Jessica Friesen are to compete against each other as professional racing drivers at a racetrack in Tenessee. The couple will go head to head in a truck racing event.

PETE: WIFE IN THE FAST LANE (2)
BBC: PETROL WEDS (7)

WEEK 14

APRIL 6: Top Gear mystery character The Stig is to launch a new TV speed dating show in which couples see if there's a romantic spark while being driven round a racetrack

PETE: LET'S STIG TOGETHER (0)
BBC: (1)

APRIL 7: A Russian TV reporter got a shock in the middle of a live weather forecast when dog pinched her microphone & ran off with it. The studio host at MIR TV carried on with the news without the weather

PETE: SOMEWHERE ROVER THE RAINBOW (2)
BBC: (1)

APRIL 8: A heavy metal band, made up of cats, has released its first single "Hunger of the Beast" - to raise money for a cat rescue centre in New York.

PETE:  DEEP PURRR-PLE (2)
BBC: LIKE A CAT OUTTA HELL (3)

APRIL 9: Mum Rebekah Williams and her family are living in terror of a "killer cockerel" called Derek, who chases anyone who dares go in their garden in Torfaen, Wales.

PETE: COCKADOODLE-DOO-RUN-RUN (2)
BBC: HANNIBAL PECKTOR (4)

WEEK 15

The Headline Challenge took a week’s break as a mark of respect for the death of the Duke of Edinburgh

WEEK 16

APRIL 19: Marks and Spencer has launched a legal battle over its Colin The Caterpillar cake after Aldi launched a rival Cuthbert The Caterpillar cake. The legal wrangle over the intellectual property rights has been dubbed 'The Battle of the Caterpillars'.

PETE: CRAWL’S FAIR IN LARVAE WAR  (0)
BBC: UGLY BUG BRAWL (2)

APRIL 20: A groom ended up at the wrong wedding venue in Indonesia after Google maps led him to a different address where an engagement party was taking place. He assumed the strangers were his bride's family, so he exchanged gifts and waited for the ceremony to start.

PETE: EVER-LOST-IN' LOVE (0)
BBC: NICE DAY FOR THE RIGHT WEDDING (4)

APRIL 21: A lost lamb reported wandering around the roads of Clonmel, in Ireland, spent the night in a police cell before being reunited with its owners.

PETE: FLEECE RELEASE ME, LET ME GO (2)
BBC: BEHIND BAAAAAS (4)

APRIL 22: Entrepreneur Steve Ryan's love of bees has turned him into a multi-millionaire. He launched Bee Health from his kitchen table in Bridlington and he's now sold it for £100m.

PETE: WHO WANTS TO BEE A MILLIONAIRE (2)
BBC: WE’RE IN THE HONEY (6)

APRIL 23: A man has paid tribute to his dead father by having his ashes inserted into the thumb-hole of his bowling ball. Champion bowler John Hinkle, of Illinois, had been introduced to the sport by his dad, and was inspired to score a perfect 300 points in his memory.

PETE: SKITTLE BY SKITTLE, YOU GAVE ME EVERYTHING I EVER DREAMED OF (4)
BBC: REST IN PINS (6)

WEEK 17

APRIL 26: Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have discovered that spiders create music by vibrating their webs to send messages to each other.

PETE: THE SPINNER TAKES A CALL (2)
BBC: DON’T WEAVE ME THIS WAY (0)

APRIL 27: Residents in Tumbler Ridge, Canada, had their internet cut off after the cables were chewed by a hungry beaver.

PETE: SCOFF-LINE (2)
BBC: THEN I SAW INTERFACE, NOW I’M A LOW BEAVER (2)

APRIL 28: Romantic Mike Matthews used a pregant woman as part of an elaborate plot to propose to his nurse girlfriend, Amy Marshall, in New York. He roped in the pregnant woman to pretend she was about to have her baby on a street bench - and Amy leapt into action by donning her surgical gloves. When she looked round, Mike was on bended knee with a ring.

PETE: BABY, I'M YOURS (2)
BBC: HEY BABY, I THINK I WANNA MARRY YOU (4)

APRIL 29: Since Iceland's Fagradalsfjall Volcano started erupting a month ago, couples have been flocking to the site to make it a spectacular wedding backdrop.

PETE: LAVA'S IN THE AIR (4)
BBC: FOR I CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LAVA WITH YOU (4)

APRIL 30: Dog trainer Linda Kush has taught her three dogs Reka, Roxie and Riley to do the housework. The pets, who live in Missouri, have been photographed vacuuming, polishing, wiping the windows, and cleaning the toilet.

PETE: HOOVER LET THE DOGS OUT? (4)
BBC: CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO DOGLINESS (5)

WEEK 18

MAY 4: Darlington grandma Eileen Leonard has raised more than £400 for Prostate Cancer UK by walking 100 laps of her estate in honour of Captain Tom – while waiting for a knee replacement operations.

PETE: NICE AND KNEESY DOES IT (2)
BBC: KNEESY STRIDER (0)

MAY 5: A bride in India called off her wedding at the last minute after the groom failed a maths test.

PETE: FIND ME SUM-BODY TO LOVE (4)
BBC: I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE BUT I WON’T DO MATHS (2)

MAY 6: A man who lost a leg in a shark attack in South Australia has won a legal battle to be allowed to keep one of the shark's teeth that was embedded in his surfboard. Chris Blowes wants to keep the Great White Shark's tooth as a souvenir.

PETE: A BITE TO REMEMBER (6)
BBC: I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE JAWS WON (2)

MAY 7: A bottle of wine that orbited the earth for a year on the International Space Station is expected to sell for £1m at auction. It will make the Petrus 2000 Merlot one of the most expensive bottles of wine in history.

PETE: BLAST OFF THE SUMMER WINE (6)
BBC: PLANET OF THE GRAPES (8)

WEEK 19

MAY 10: Juliet, the last wild macaw living in Rio de Janeiro, is so lonely she's been flirting with male macaws at the city's zoo.

PETE: MACAW'LL ME MAYBE? (2)
BBC: MACAW’LL YOU NEED IS LOVE (2)

MAY 11: The Royal Mail has produced a set of stamps as a tribute to Paul McCartney's career.

PETE: LETTER BE (4)
BBC: PENNY BLACK LANE (2)

MAY 12: A snorkeller has located a missing wedding ring - stuck round the neck of a fish. Nathan Reeves lost the ring when he went for a swim off Norfolk Island, Australia, but scuba diver Susan Prior spotted a fish wearing it. Attempts are now being made to catch it in a net so the ring can be humanely removed.

PETE: FIND RING NEMO (6)
BBC: SHOALY MATRIMONY (4)

MAY 13: Mounties have busted the culprit responsible for the theft of a large number of fence posts in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. The thief turned out to be a beaver building a dam.

PETE: THE DAMBUSTERS (8)
BBC: GNAW COMMENT (4)

MAY 14: A study by scientists in Denmark and China has concluded that people who like heavy rock music are more likely to have a craving for snacks.

PETE: WHOA SNACK BUTTY (BREAD AND JAM) (8)
BBC: GOD GAVE SAUSAGE ROLLS TO YOU (6)

The Northern Echo:

WEEK 20

MAY 18: A restaurant in Minnesota claims its whopping "Labour-inducer" burger, with special ingredients, has so far helped 31 women give birth.

PETE: ONE BUN EVERY MINUTE (0)
BBC: CALL THE MEAT-WIFE (2)

MAY 19: A man in Idaho, called David Rush has broken a world record by balancing a pool cue on his forehead for 2 hours 16 minutes and 20 seconds.

PETE: YOU'RE A RECORD-BREAKER! (0)
BBC: TIME FOR A REST (3)

MAY 20: Plant-lovers are creating mini gardens inside their cars - using real soil for flower beds - in what has become a growing craze to be green-fingered on the road.

PETE: SHE DRIVES ME DAISY (0)
BBC: ROSE ROYCE (5)

MAY 21: A competition to dig the fastest grave has been held in the Russian city of Novosibirsk to promote careers in undertaking. The contest was won with a time of 38 minutes and the winning team's prize was 30,000 rubles.

PETE: THE WINNER UNDERTAKES IT ALL (0)
BBC: THE RACE OF SPADES (7)

WEEK 21

MAY 24: Indiana Jones' fedora hat is to go up for auction in Hollywood - and is expected to fetch $250,000.

PETE: WE'RE INDIE MONEY (0)
BBC: JONES UNDER THE HAMMER (2)

MAY 25: Yorkshire pensioners Margaret and Donald Lincoln - orginally from Sheffield but now living in France - raved to their daughter about how much they'd enjoyed some delicious pate, only to discover they'd scoffed cat food.

PETE: BON AP-PURR-T’EAT (1)
BBC: IT’S MY PATE AND I’LL CRY IF I WANT TO (2)

MAY 26: Scuba diving couple Debby and Cam McLeod, who got married underwater, are already planning to celebrate their first anniversary by swimming with Great White sharks at Port Lincoln, in Australia.

PETE: TAKE ME I'M JAWS (3)
BBC: SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED – I’M JAWS (4)

MAY 27: Pepper the toy schnauzer has ended up looking like a sheep because she wouldn't keep still while hair stylist owner Claudia Brewer gave her a home haircut while the groomer was in lockdown.

PETE: SHORT BAAAARK AND SIDES (3)
BBC: THE FIRST CUT IS THE SHEEPEST (6)

MAY 28: Schoolgirl Seenlada Supat, 11, feels so sorry for the animals at a zoo near Bangkok that she's been dressing up in a crocodile costume and playing music to them to stop them getting lonely during the pandemic.

PETE: DON'T WORRY, BE SNAPPY (5)
BBC: REPTILE BE THERE FOR YOU (6)

WEEK 22

June 1: It has been revealed that The Queen once hid in the foliage in the Buckingham Palace gardens to avoid Romanian dictator Nicola Ceausescu.

PETE: HER ROYAL HIDENESS (0)
BBC: GOD SAVE HERBACIOUS QUEEN (2)

June 2: A London man has been jailed for running a scam in which he took driving theory tests for other people by wrapping bandages round his head and pretending to have been injured in an accident. Izmir Senaj operated the scam at various driving test centres.

PETE: CRASH TEST MUMMY (1)
BBC: THE MASKED RINGER (2)

June 3: A group of boy racers in China decided to grill meat using the flames from a valuable Lamborghini supercar - and promptly set it on fire.

PETE: LIFE IN THE FAST FLAME (3)
BBC: CAR-BAB MEAT (3)

June 4: We're off to Barron County, in Wisconsin, where a 13-mile police chase ended with the car driving into a farmer's field, where it was surrounded by a herd of cows until the police arrived and arrested the terrified suspect...

PETE: FRIESIAN - YOU'RE UDDER ARREST (3)
BBC: THE MOO-GITIVE  (5)

WEEK 23

June 7: A man who won $1m on a scratchcard he bought from a petrol station in Michigan was so excited he drove off with the pump still attached to his fuel tank.

PETE: TANKS A MILLION (0)
BBC: WIN DIESEL (1)

June 8: Researchers at Cambridge University have been conducting a new study involving trying magic tricks on birds. The conclusion is that birds are not fooled as easily as humans.

PETE: PECK A CARD, ANY CARD (1)
BBC: ABRA-CROW-DABRA (3)

June 9: Dozens of people are facing fines of up to 3,000 euros for removing precious white sand and shells from the Italian island of Sardinia.

PETE: THOU SHELL NOT STEAL (3)
BBC: ITSY-BITSY-TEENY-WEENY-LITTLE-BIT-OF-SAND-NO-KEEPY (3)

June 10: A giant replica of Noah's Ark has been deemed unseaworthy, with the coastguard refusing to allow the vessel to leave dock in Ipswich due to "deficiencies".

PETE: I CAN'T GO FOR THAT, NOAH - NOAH CAN DO (5)
BBC: NOAH’S N’ARKED (3)

The Northern Echo:

June 11: Hollywood superstar Harrison Ford has been spotted for a second day enjoying the delights of Tyneside

PETE: IN A GALAXY FAR FAR H'AWAY (5)
BBC: INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF TOON (5)

WEEK 24

June 14: Veteran lobster diver Michael Packard has lived to tell the tale after being swallowed by a humpback whale and spat back out at Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

PETE: ALL'S WHALE THAT ENDS WHALE (1)
BBC: WHALE MEET AGAIN (0)

June 15: A Scottish pet shop is selling retro football strips for dogs to mark the Euro 2020 tournament.

PETE: BARK HOME (3)

BBC: THEY THINK IT’S ALL ROVER…IT IS NOW (1)

June 16: Customers got a shock at Spring Hill Post Office, in Florida, when a seven-foot alligator strolled in.

PETE: SEE YOU LETTER ALLIGATOR (3)
BBC: POSTMAN SNAP (7)

June 17: Tom Bedard and Raya Maday, who met while working together as meteorologists in Kansas, drove six hours to see their first tornado - then Tom dropped to one knee and proposed with it as the backdrop.

PETE: TWISTER AND MRS (5)
BBC: YOU CAN’T HURRY-CANE LOVE (7)

June 18: Frenchman Xavier Bouget, 80, has made best friends with a white pigeon called Blanchon. Xavier and Blanchon, who live in Brittany, are inseparable. The bird tinkers in his workshop, they share biscuits, do the gardening, and even go for bicycle rides together.

PETE: JUST THE COO OF US (WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE FLY) (7)
BBC: THANK COO FOR BEING A FRIEND (7)

WEEK 25

June 21: A Nebraska man has set a world record by completing 60 naked skydives in 24 hours. Rian Kanoulf completed the feat to raise money for a mental health charity.

PETE: BUM FLY WITH ME (0)
BBC: YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY THINGS (2)

June 22: A woman who was fed-up with men from earth says she's fallen in love with an alien. Abbie Bela claims she was kidnapped from her London flat by extra-terrestrials – and has fallen in love with one of her abductors.

PETE: I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE UFO (0)
BBC: SHE’S AN E.T. LOVER (4)

June 23: Amateur cricketer Asif Ali is regretting being such a big hitter after he whacked the ball for six in a game at Halifax - and smashed the windscreen of his own car.

PETE: FOOL TOSS (1)
BBC: SIX AS A PARROT (4)

June 24: Muja, the world's oldest alligator in captivity, is celebrating his 85 birthday at a zoo in Belgrade, and has become a Tik Tok star.

PETE: CROC OF AGES (6)
BBC: I REMEMBER WHEN CROC WAS YOUNG (4)

June 25: Australian biology professor Michael Mahoney - known as "The Frog Whisperer" - has learned to communicate with frogs by mastering the art of imitating and understanding the sounds they make...

PETE: RIBBITING CONVERSATION (7)
BBC: HOPPY TALK (4)

The Northern Echo:

WEEK 26

June 28: A New Zealand woman who suffered from pain up her nose for most of her life has undergone surgery at Christchurch Hospital and discovered she had a yellow tiddlywink stuck up there. Mary McCarthy remembers putting it up her nostril during a game with her brothers when she was eight.

PETE: TIDDLYWINKY WINKY WINKY WINKY TIDDLYWINKY WOO, I SHOVED YOU (2)
BBC: ITSY-BITSY-TIDDLY-WINKY-YELLOW-COLOURED-SNOTLIKE-GREENY THAT SHE SAW FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY (2)

June 29: American strongwoman Kortney Olson has broken the world record for crushing water melons between her thighs. Kortney burst three watermelons in just 7.5 seconds in Last Vegas.

PETE: I DID IT THIGH WAY (2)
BBC: WATERMELON SUGAR THIGHS (4)

June 30: Pigs Polly and Elvis at Bristol Zoo Gardens predicted a win for the England football team over Germany in their Euro 2020 match.

PETE: IT'S COMING HAM, IT'S COMING HAM, IT'S COMING...FOOTBALL'S COMING HAM (4)
BBC: BRINGING HOME THE BACON (5)

July 1: Two male nude sunbathers in Australia had to be rescued by police after being spooked by wild deer, running into the woods, and getting lost. To make matters worse, they then got fined for breaching COVID rules.

PETE: IN-DEER-CENT EXPOSURE (5)
BBC: SIGNED, SEALED, DEER-LIVERED (5)

July 2: A groom in India calls off the big day after finding there's no mutton curry on the wedding menu. On his way home, he marries a different woman instead.

PETE: YOU CAN'T CURRY LOVE (7)
BBC: BAD KORMA (6)

WEEK 27

July 5: Hairdressers are under siege due to the success of the England football team with a 245% increase in requests for haircuts influenced by The Three Lions...

PETE: FOOTBALL'S COMBING HOME (1)
BBC: SHORT BACK AND OFFSIDES (0)

July 6: Amateur footballer Callum Saunders has been exposed as a fraud after making an insurance claim for injuring his foot in a car crash -but then scoring a wonder goal for Haywards Heath that was shown on Soccer AM.

PETE: THE SCAMMED UNITED (3)
BBC: SEEN SAUNDERS (0)

July 7: Spennymoor trucker Mark Sumpton is building a reputation is an expert pie-maker and uses his experiences of travelling across Europe to influence his recipes.

PETE: HE DRIVES ME GRAVY (5)
BBC: PIEWAY TO HELL (0)

July 8: Brazilian couple Arthur O Urso and Luana Kazaki are heading to the world's biggest nudist resort - Cap D'Agde, in the South of France - for a naked honeymoon.

PETE: I'M IN THE NUDE FOR LOVE (5)
BBC: THE BARE NECESSITIES OF WIFE (2)

July 9: England football fans are staging a boycott of their favourite Italian foods, like pizza and spaghetti, until after Sunday's Euro 2020 final, sticking instead to traditional English dishes like fish and chips.

PETE: CRY COD FOR HARRY, ENGLAND AND ST GEORGE (5)
BBC: IF I CAN’T HAVE STEW I DON’T WANT LINGUINE BABY (4)

The Northern Echo:

WEEK 28

July 12: An engineering student from India has broken the record for having the world's longest tongue at 10.8cms. Praveen Kalirajan's tongue is so long he can lick his own nose and elbow.

PETE: THAT'S THE WAY (I LICK IT) (2)
BBC: THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN TONGUE (0)

July 13: American clergyman, Monsignor Stephen Rossetti, says he's carrying out more exorcisms than ever because ghosts have become "tech-savvy" and are using text messages and social media to haunt their victims.

PETE: THE TEXTORCIST (4)
BBC: I JUST GOTTA GET A MESSAGE TO BOO (0)

July 14: A traffic policeman in Arkansas arrests a takeaway delivery driver for motoring offences - and then goes on to deliver the Chinese meal to customers so they wouldn't go hungry.

PETE: COP SUEY (4)
BBC: DELIVER WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO (1)

July 15: A police chase in Massachusetts ended when the suspect - a woman who had stolen a pick-up truck - was arrested after stopping at a McDonald's because she was feeling peckish.

PETE: FRIES! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST (4)
BBC: DON’T TRUCK BACK IN HUNGER (3)

July 16: A Teesside auction house is selling off the contents of a garden pond in Thirsk, including a dozen koi carp - the biggest measuring 18 inches. The auction at Lithgow Sons & Partners, in Middlesbrough, takes place on June 22.

PETE: BABY YOU CAN BUY MY CARP (6)
BBC: A FISH CALLED WONGA (5)

The Northern Echo:

WEEK 29

July 19: 6,000 false eye-lashes have been seized at New Orleans Airport after being illegally imported from China.

PETE: EYE-WAY TO SELL (0)
BBC: A BIN OF LASHES (2)

July 20: Arnold the Canada goose goes in for surgery at an animal rescue centre in Massachusetts after having his foot bitten by a snapping turtle - and his mate tracks him down and stages a vigil outside the operating room until he recovers.

PETE: TURTLEY DEVOTED TO YOU (2)
BBC: CUT FOOTGOOSE (4)

July 21: A Florida company is offering couple's the chance to get married in space, inside a capsule tied to balloons 100,000 feet above earth - at a cost of £$125,000.

PETE: SPOUSE ODYSSEY (6)
BBC: LUST IN SPACE (8)

July 22: Villagers in Hurworth-on-Tees are doing their bit to reverse the decline of swifts by fitting 32 nesting boxes in their church belfry, complete with a recording of the bird's mating cry

PETE: BELL WINGERS (7)
BBC: CHURCHY CHURCHY TWEET TWEET (10)

July 23: Beauty queen Robyn Morrison spends weekends entering beauty contests, with titles including being named Mrs Earth in Las Vegas, but her day job is working as a funeral director

PETE: OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOURNING (11)
BBC: BEAUTY AND DECEASED (10)

 

WEEK 30

July 26: Teenager Kiley Holman got the fright of her life when a seagull flew into her face while she was on a ride called The Slingshot at a funfair in New Jersey. Luckily, neither Kiley nor the bird were hurt.

PETE: GULLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN (4)
BBC: SCREAM IF YOU WANNA GULL FASTER (2)

July 27: Leonid Stanislavskyi, from the Ukraine, has been officially recognised as the oldest tennis player in the world at 97. He is preparing for the Super Seniors World Championships in Spain and, in order to carry on competing, persuaded the organisers to create an over-90s category.

PETE: CODGER FEDERER (5)
BBC: WALKING FRAME, SET, AND MATCH (2)

July 28: A bar called After Bark, in the Hackney area of London is serving special doggy cocktails to pooches that come in with their owners.

PETE: SEX ON THE BITCH (6)
BBC: IF YOU LIKE PINA CHIHUAHUAS (4)

July 29: Idaho man David Rush has set a new world record after balancing a chair on his chin for more than an hour.

PETE: BY THE CHAIR ON MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN (7)
BBC: YOU HAVE TO BE CHIN IT TO WIN IT (4)

July 30: Pigs are to be the stars of a music festival with a difference in West Yorkshire this weekend. The animals from the "Pigs In The Wood" sanctuary in Huddersfield will roam free and interact with music-lovers during the "Orchard Pig Gig".

PETE: PIGGY STARDUST (7)
BBC: CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES GAMMON (6)

 

WEEK 31

August 2: A Connecticut woman has made the Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's biggest female mouth. Samantha Ramsdale's mouth has been measured at 6.52cms wide.

PETE: ALMIGHTY GOB (0)
BBC: THE GRINESS BOOK OF RECORDS (2)

August 3: Self-confessed 'hopeless romantic' Martin Baker is searching for a mystery woman he fell instantly in love with while waiting at traffic lights in Grimsby. Martin, who drives a big orange truck, made eye contact with a woman in a blue BMW, felt a spark, but she drove off when the lights turned green. He's now appealing for "Mrs Right" to come forward.

PETE: THE TRUCK OF LOVE (2)
BBC: STOP. TRUCK. LISTEN TO MY HEART (2)

August 4: The RAF has relaxed its dress code to allow women to wear their hair in different styles. Previously, that could only wear their hair in a bun while on duty but now they can have plaits, ponytails or cornrows.

PETE: TOP BUN (2)
BBC: THE ROYAL HAIRFORCE (3)

August 5: Florida couple Stephanie Lannas and Adolfo Rivera have been arrested after an argument at a restaurant escalated and ended up with them shoving plates of pasta into each other's faces.

PETE: LET'S SPAGHETTI TO RUMBLE (4)
BBC: PASTA LA VISTA, BABY (3)

August 6: Grandad Tony Urwin has landed the biggest ever cod caught in Scottish waters. Tony, from Amble, Northumberland, caught the monster fish - weighing 22kg and 4-feet long - off Shetland.

PETE: CODZILLA (6)
BBC: THE CODFATHER (3)

 

WEEK 35

August 31: Lisa McArdle went straight from a nightshift at the Warburtons bread factory in Wakefield to look glamorous enough to win The Best Dressed Lady contest on Ladies' Night at Redcar Racecourse.

PETE: ISN'T SHE LOAF-LY, ISN'T SHE BUN-DERFUL (0)
BBC: DROP BREAD GORGEOUS (4)

September 1:  Toronto TV weatherman Anthony Favell gets flustered when his pet dog, Storm, wanders onto the set looking for treats.

PETE: SOMEWHERE ROVER THE RAINBOW (2)
BBC: WALKIES ON SUNSHINE (6)

September 2: David Kay, of Blackpool, has set a world record by bouncing 10 miles on a Space Hopper, raising money for his local hospice.

PETE: HIGH HOPS (4)
BBC: TOP OF THE HOPS (6)

September 3:  A Harry Potter-themed airbnb has opened in Orlando.

PETE: BROOM WITH A VIEW (4)
BBC: HARRY POT-AIRBNB (7)

 

WEEK 36

September 6:  Everton manager Rafa Benitez says footballers should take up gardening to get in the right frame of mind for matches.

PETE: THE ROOTIFUL GAME (0)
BBC: TEND IT LIKE BECKHAM (2)

September 7:  A dream job has come up with The Botanist Bar and Restaurant Chain for a professional Sunday lunch taster. It comes with a salary of £500 and all you have to do is make sure their Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes and other trimmings are up to scratch.

PETE: IN THE GRAVY! (2)
BBC: MONEY FOR SCOFFING AND THE LICKS FOR FREE (2)

September 8:  Hannah and Glenn Devine had an unusual choice of bridesmaid when they got married in Holland. Hannah was escorted to the altar by their pot-bellied pig called Babe.

PETE: SWINE, SQUEALED DELIVERED I'M YOURS (4)
BBC: TO MAKE YOU SQUEAL MY LOVE (2)

September 9:  A 78-year-old man popped out to the bar for a few drinks in Thailand, took a wrong turn after drinking five bottles of beer, and ended up lost in the jungle for four days...

PETE: LOOK FOR THE BAR NECESSITIES (6)
BBC: LET’S GET BEVVIED TO JUNGLE (4)

September 10:  The congregation at a christening in New York descended into fits of laughter after baby Jonathan Lymberatos has a big wee, narrowly missing the priest.

PETE: LET US SPRAY (6)
BBC: PRAISE GOD FOR WHAT WEE ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE (5)

 

WEEK 37

September 13:  Jonathan, the randy giant tortoise, still enjoys making love despite being blind and 189-years-old. Jonathan, who lives on the South Atlantic island of St Helena, has retained a healthy libido all his life.

PETE: HE'S A SHELL-RAISER (NATURAL-BORN RAVER, YEAH! (0)
BBC: I’M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHELL (2)

September 14:  Bird-mad Meggy Johnson, of Lincolnshire, spends £4,000 a year on her rescue "fashionista" pigeons, Sky and Moose, which enjoy their own bedroom, a wardrobe of outfits, and posh stroller.

PETE: COO-COO CHANEL (1)
BBC: POSH AND PECKS (2)

September 15:  A holidaymaker has made a shock discovery after flying home to Rotherham from Barbados. Lisa Russell found that a gecko had flown the 4,000 miles hidden inside her bra.

PETE: CUP FLY WITH ME (1)
BBC: GECKO BEACH BRA AWAY ANYTIME (4)

September 16:  A man is aiming to set a new world record for running a marathon while dressed as a brain. Bryce Alford, who lives on Jersey, will run the London Marathon next month in a human brain costume to raise funds for the brain injury charity Headway.

PETE: THE RUNAWAY BRAIN CAME DOWN THE TRACK AND HE BLEW (4)
BBC: BRAINSTORMING AHEAD (4)

September 17:  Nigel Thornley, of Chester, has hit the jackpot after selling his model railway collection. The vast collection, built up since he was a little boy, sold for £100,000 at auction.

PETE: THE TRACKS OF MY YEARS (5)
BBC: MOOLAH ON THE ORNAMENT EXPRESS (4)

 

WEEK 38

September 20:  Kind-hearted Rob Adamson, from Cambridge, has helped an unlucky swan to finally become a mum. The swan kept losing her eggs to flooding and foxes so Rob, who lives in a boat on the river, built a raft to protect the nest from rising waters and added a fence to keep out foxes. He's now keeping an eye on a family of cygnets.

PETE: HAPPILY FEATHER RAFTER (1)
BBC: IT’S SWANDERFUL, IT’S MARVELLOUS (0)

September 21:  A man walked up to a bar in Wetherspoons in Maidenhead completely starkers to win a £20 bet with his drinking partner.

PETE: BUM AND COKE PLEASE (1)
BBC: MOONS IN SPOONS (1)

September 22:  The winner of the Bristol half-marathon has been disqualified - because he'd only entered the 10k race. Omar Ahmed took a wrong turn and ended up accidentally running 13 miles instead of 10k but has been stripped of his title despite setting a personal best of 63 minutes.

PETE: THE WRONG AND WINDING ROAD (1)
BBC: WRONG WAY OR ANOTHER (3)

September 23:  A lucky chap called Andrew Maas has won a sweet factory after finding a golden ticket in a field in Indiana following the launch of a Willy Wonka-style contest.

PETE: SWEET GOLDEN FIND (1)
BBC: SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE (5)

September 24:  Max, the German Shepherd, has become an internet sensation because he loves to sing duets with Whitney Houston.

PETE: I WANNA DANCE WITH SOME DOGGY, I WANNA BE IN HEAT WITH SOME DOGGY (1)
BBC: HOWL WILL I KNOW (7)

 

WEEK 39

September 27:  A Staffordshire Bull Terrier that was saved from being put to sleep as a puppy has become best friends with a baby cow. Momma, the Staffy, and Elsie, the heifer calf, are inseparable at a farm in Tennessee, and like to give each other daily "kisses".

PETE: MOO'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME (3)
BBC: HOW MUCH DOES THAT DOGGY LOVE THAT WEE COW? (0)

September 28:  A taxi company in Thailand has converted a fleet of cars - left idle during the pandemic - into vegetable plots so it can use the produce to feed the families of the out of work drivers.

PETE: CORN ON THE CAB (3)
BBC: GROW-LER TAXI (2)

September 29:  An artist who was paid 534,000 kroner $84,000 to create a work of art for the Kunsten Museum, in Denmark, has pocketed the cash and produced just an empty glass frame entitled "Take The Money And Run". Jens Haaning said: "The work of art is that I took their money." The museum is now considering reporting him to the police.

PETE: LEONARDO DA PINCHI (4)
BBC: PABLO NICK-CASHO (3)

September 30:  Bill Fischer, from North Dakota, has been left with a big clean-up operation after a red squirrel used his pickup truck as a winter hideaway for thousands of nuts.

PETE: DRIVING ME NUTS (4)
BBC: NUT-TRUCK CITY LIMITS (5)

October 1:  A man on a horse has taunted motorists queueing for fuel in Surrey. Gus Lee-Dolphin turned up at a Thames Ditton petrol station on his horse, Ranger, and started singing: "I don't need petrol cos I'm on a horse - he runs on carrots."

PETE: ONLY FUELS AND HORSES (9)
BBC: HOW MANY MILES TO THE GALLOP? (5)

 

WEEK 40

October 4:  Friends Troi Baxter and Kerry Bullen are running the London Marathon handcuffed together to raise money for Tom's Trust.

PETE: WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE CUFFED GET GOING (2)
BBC: RUNNING OUT OF CUFF (0)

October 5:  A parody of Bohemian Rhapsody by four cats has gone viral. But what else might they sing?

PETE: DON'T STOP MIAOW (4)
BBC: THESE ARE THE STRAYS OF OUR LIVES (0)

October 6:  Fearless bride Jill Young had to bin her dream wedding dress after a 75ft rock climb to tie the knot with hubbie Robert. 

PETE: LOVE ON THE ROCKS (4)
BBC: HERE CLIMBS THE BRIDE (2)

October 7:  A woman told her partner he's going to be a dad by swapping the flake in his ice cream for a positive pregnancy test.

PETE: ICE POP (4)
BBC: DADDY COOL (4)

October 8:  Mehmet Özyürek, from Turkey, is officially recognised as the owner of the world's largest nose.

PETE: GOD ONLY NOSE WHERE I'D BE WITH SNOUT YOU (4)
BBC: BOGIE WONDERLAND (6)

 

WEEK 41

October 11:  Christchurch City Council has terminated the contract of a man who has performed the role of "The Wizard of New Zealand" for 23 years. Ian Brackenbury Channell was paid $16k a year to cast spells but wizardry "no longer fits the modern image of the city".

PETE: ANOTHER WAND BITES THE DUST (2)
BBC: SHOWN THE DUMBLE-DOOR (1)

October 12:  Ruth Hamilton, of British Columbia, Canada, is lucky to be alive after a meteorite crashed through her roof and landed on her pillow, inches from her head.

PETE: SLEEP IMPACT (4)
BBC: ARMABEDDON (1)

October 13:  A dog called Tucker has become an internet star after ruining a video of a romantic wedding proposal in Alberta, Canada. Just as a man goes down on one knee to pop the question to Tucker's owner, the pet pooch walks into shot for a badly-timed toilet break.

PETE: AND THEY CALLED IT, POOPY LOVE (4)
BBC: INDECENT POO-POSAL (5)

October 14:  Newly-weds Sarah and Matt Chesterfield decided to celebrate their marriage in Saint Austell, Cornwall, with a game of rounders. However, Matt was rolling in agony after Sarah whacked the ball straight into her hubby's groin.

PETE: LOVE IS ALL A ROUNDERS (AND SO THE SQUEALING GROWS) (6)
BBC: HONEYMOANER (5)

October 15: A massive load of grapes spills from a lorry onto a road in California, causing traffic chaos.

PETE: THE PLONK AND WINE-ING ROAD (8)
BBC: VIN DIESEL (5)

 

WEEK 42

October 18:  Shaun Nyland, from Newport, Wales, surprised his ex-girlfriend, Cat Keenan, on her 31st birthday by paying off the mortgage on her house.

PETE: HOUSE DEEP IS YOUR LOVE? (2)
BBC: THE JOY OF EX (0)

October 19:  In a script straight out of James Bond, a former US naval engineer and his wife have been arrested for allegedly trying to sell military secrets about nuclear submarines on a computer card hidden inside a peanut butter sandwich they passed on to an undercover FBI agent.

PETE: THE HUNT FOR SPREAD OCTOBER (2)
BBC: SMOOTH CRIMINAL (2)

October 20:  Paranormal investigators have raised £1,000 for mental health charity Mind by inviting ghost-hunters to take part in late-night vigils at Stockton's Castlegate Shopping Centre, which is built on the site of an ancient castle and is rumoured to be haunted.

PETE: CASH FOR THE FRIENDLY GHOST (10)
BBC: THE PHANTOM OF THE SHOPERA (2)

October 21:  A couple determined to reach their wedding venue despite flash floods in southern India, sailed to the ceremony in a giant cooking pot. Akash Kunjumon and his bride A. Aishwarya used the large aluminium container because they couldn't find a boat.

PETE: ALOO - IS IT ME YOU'RE COOKING FOR? (12)
BBC: OIL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN (4)

October 22:  Flamboyant TV weatherman Owain Wyn Evans is to embark on a 24-hour drumming marathon to raise money for BBC Children in Need.

PETE: DRUMMER TIME, AND THE GIVIN' IS EASY (12)
BBC: DRUMMING FOR NOTHING FOR THE KIDS IN NEED (6)

 

WEEK 43

October 25:  A Hong Kong bus company is selling tickets for a five-hour bus ride to nowhere - for stressed-out people in need of a good rest. The "uninterrupted sleeping bus" is proving to be a sell-out...

PETE: SNOOZE GONNA DRIVE YOU HOME (0)
BBC: ROAD TO NOWHERE (2)

October 26:  The world's first Batman-themed restaurant has opened in London, so we're looking for headlines linking food with the Dark Knight.

PETE: DINNER DINNER DINNER DINNER DINNER DINNER DINNER DINNER FAT PAN (0)
BBC: THE CRÊPED CRUSADER (3)

October 27:  A man, who has changed his name from Barry Kirk to Captain Beaney, is looking for love after spending thousands of pounds turning his home into a shrine to baked beans. The house in Port Talbot has orange walls and baked bean tin labels plastered on every surface.

PETE: I'VE BEAN WAITING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU (TO COME INTO MY LIFE) (0)
BBC: OWNER OF A LONELY FART (5)

 

October 28:  A man, who used his redundancy money to kickstart his dream of opening his own bakery in Darlington, has been named the North-East's "Bread Hero" at the World Bread Awards. Dan Booth runs his business under the name of The Bakerman.

PETE: I KNEAD A HERO (2)
BBC: RISING UP, BAKE TO THE TOP (5)

October 29:  A singer songwriter called Brocarde says she has been dumped by a ghost as punishment for talking about their romance on TV. Brocarde, from Oxford, is desperate to make up with the spirit, called Edwardo.

PETE: GHOUL IF YOU THINK IT'S OVER (2)
BBC: DON’T YOU HAUNT ME BABY (7)

 

WEEK 44

November 1:  The 100th Darlington Junior Parkrun had a Halloween theme this morning, with ghouls, vampires, skeletons, witches and zombies braving the rain to run round South Park.

PETE: IT WAS THE DASH - IT WAS THE MONSTER DASH (0)
BBC: GHOUL RUNNINGS (2)

November 2:  A border collie called Nicolas has amassed millions of views on social media because of his skills as an opera singer. Nicolas, who lives in Poland with owner Julia Szypluska, has even attracted praise from London's world-famous Royal Opera House.

PETE: THE BARKER OF SEVILLE (0)
BBC: A BITE AT THE OPERA (4)

November 3:  Zookeepers at Cuba's National Zoo say several species of exotic and endangered animals have taken advantage of the peace and quiet brought on by the coronavirus pandemic for romantic encounters, resulting in a bumper crop of baby animals.

PETE: JUST THE ZOO OF US (2)
BBC: I’M HORNY, HORNY HORNY HORNY (6)

November 4:  A giant cake has appeared in the sand at Whitby. The cake, measuring 60 metres in diameter, was created by sand artist Simon Beck as part of a promotion for The Big Cake Company which is starting home deliveries of freshly baked cakes.

PETE: BAKEWATCH (2)
BBC: CAKE ON SEA (8)

November 5:  Dogs are to get their own television channel. Dog TV launches on Monday after years of study into canine behaviour, with programmes designed to entertain and relax our four-legged friends.

PETE: HOUND AND VISION (2)
BBC: DOGGLEBOX (10)

 

WEEK 45

November 8:  Pupils who achieve 100% attendance at the John Smeaton Academy, in Leeds, are being rewarded with helicopter rides.

PETE: CHOPPER THE FORM (0)
BBC: HIGHFLYERS (1)

November 9:  Married couple Claire and Leigh Jarman, of Shropshire, share their bed with 12 dachshunds and a dalmatian. Not surprisingly, they say they don't get a lot of sleep and their love life has suffered.

PETE: PETS SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER (2)
BBC: THERE WERE PAWS IN THE BED (1)

November 10:  An over-sexed alligator, named Kanye West after the rap star, has had to be put into isolation at The Australian Reptile Park, in New South Wales, because he was getting too snappy with other males during the mating season.

PETE: KANYE FEEL THE LOVE TO BITE (4)
BBC: A REPTILE DISFUNCTION (1)

November 11: Entrepreneur Mervin Batchelor, of Norwich, is offering an unusual chauffeur service - charging £1,000 for driving wedding couples in his 'tank taxi'.

PETE: GOING TO THE CHAPEL AND WE'RE GUNNER GET MARRIED (6)
BBC: MY CHERIE AMOURED (3)

November 12: Wrinkle the duck has joined 30,000 runners in the New York City Marathon – while wearing custom-made webbed running shoes.

PETE: POULTRY IN MOTION (8)
BBC: I’M NIKE A BIRD (3)

 

WEEK 46

November 15:  Mum-of-two Heather Hann, of St Albans, has set a new world record for running 10k while pushing a pram. Heather's time, while pushing her one-year-old son, was 40 minutes 4 seconds. She took up buggy running after the birth of her first son.

PETE: BABY, WE WERE BORN TO RUN (2)
BBC: RUNNING IN THE FAMILY (2)

November 16:  A woman called Lauren has taken to social media to tell how a man sent her an invoice for £3.50 to pay for the coffee he bought her on their first date. She got the bill after telling him she didn't want to go for a second date.

PETE: HOLDING OUT FOR A NERO (2)
BBC: WHAT A MUG (3)

November 17:  Newly-weds Aaron and Danielle Stevens celebrated their wedding in Canterbury, New Zealand, with a bungee jump from a bridge. He was still in his suit and she was still in her white dress.

PETE: YOU'RE THE FIRST, MY E-LAST-IC, MY EVERYTHING (4)
BBC: JUMP FOR YOUR LOVE (3)

November 18:  A California charity has collected 80,000 socks for the homeless and broke a Guinness World Record for the longest clothes-line of socks. The Fresno Mission said volunteers and staff aimed to create a line of socks stretching at least 7 miles.

PETE: A DARNED GOOD EFFORT (4)
BBC: WE WILL SOCK YOU (5)

November 19:  Scientists at the University of Glasgow have invented a phone for dogs to call their owners. The 'DogPhone' involves the pet shaking a ball that connects to a computer and video-calls their owner.

PETE: I JUST CALLED TO SAY I WOOF YOU (4)
BBC: WAGGING ON THE TELE-BONE (7)

 

WEEK 47

November 22:  A man has been banned from an 'all-you-can-eat' Chinese restaurant - because he ate too much. The buffet restaurant in Changsha City blacklisted the man - known only as Mr Kang - because he was proving to be too expensive. He ate 1.5kg of pork trotters during his first visit and 3.5kg to 4kg of prawns on another.

PETE: SCOFF YOU TROT (0)
BBC: THE PRAWN ULTIMATUM (4)

November 23:  A woman in Boston has revealed how she swallowed an Airpod wireless earphone after mistaking it for an Ibuprofen tablet in the dark. The Airpod remained connected to her mobile phone until nature took its course.

PETE: I'VE GOT THE MUSIC IN ME (2)
BBC: iChews (4)

November 24:  A woman has taken to social media to complain about her in-laws inviting her for Christmas dinner - but adding that guests will have to pay a fee.

PETE: JINGLE BILL SHOCK (4)
BBC: FLEECE NAVIDAD (6)

November 25:  Fish and chips has been voted the best meal to order after getting dumped, according to a survey.

PETE: FRY, FRY, FRY, DEEPFRYER (4)
BBC: CHIPPY TEA TA (8)

November 26:  Mum Carly Lockie is so crazy about Christmas that she covers her entire house in Bristol in festive wrapping paper - including all the walls, doors and cupboards.

PETE: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS - AND A WRAPPY NEW YEAR (6)
BBC: DECK THE WALLS AND MAKE THEM JOLLY (8)

 

 

WEEK 48

November 29:  New Zealand politician Julie Anne Genter got on her bike to ride to hospital while in labour - and gave birth an hour later.

PETE: THE CYCLE OF LIFE (2)
BBC: FROM WHEEL TO MATERNITY (0)

November 30:  A new survey shows that the average Brit will spend £94.97 on their dog this Christmas. 56% will also make their pooches a special Christmas meal, according to The Kennel Club Charitable Trust.

PETE: DECK THE HALLS WITH BOW-WOWS OF HOLLIE, FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, TIS THE SEASON TO BE A COLLIE, FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA (2)
BBC: WALKIES IN THE AIR (BY ALED BONES) (2)

December 1:  Two men have gone viral after they were filmed as they continued to tuck into a free buffet at a wedding in India - despite the fact that fire-fighters were battling a blaze that had broken out behind them.

PETE: KEEP KORMA AND CURRY ON (2)
BBC: DHALL 999 (3)

December 2:  Alexander McLeish received a get-well card from a friend after he underwent open heart surgery in Massachusetts. Inside was a lottery scratchcard that earned him $1m.

PETE: CASH IN THE AORTIC (2)
BBC: SCRATCHCARDIAC ARREST (4)

December 3:  An Australian man has broken the world record for the loudest burp. Neville Sharp, of Darwin, recorded a burp of 112.4 decibels - louder than an electric drill or trombone. He has credited his wife for coaching him at home over the past 10 years.

PETE: BURPING ROUND THE HOUSE (4)
BBC: I BURP FROM THE LAND DOWN UNDER (4)

 

WEEK 49

December 6:  Scientific researchers at the Amundsen-Scott Station at the South Pole have launched 'The 300 Club' which involves going in a sauna, then running naked round the South Pole in temperatures of -100 degrees, then jumping back in the sauna and getting drunk.

PETE: THE PARKY RUN (0)
BBC: FLASHING THROUGH THE SNOW (2)

December 7:  A man in a pink bunny costume has been caught shoplifting handbags in Kirkland, Washington, USA.

PETE: GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT, GRABBIT (2)
BBC: BUN-LOVING CRIMINAL (2)

December 8:  Divers at an aquarium in Budapest, Hungary, are dressing in Santa costumes while feeding the sharks and other fish in the run up to Christmas.

PETE: SANTA JAWS IS COMING TO TOWN (2)
BBC: SHARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING (3)

December 9:  Police had to close a road on the Falklands to avoid surprised drivers running over two sex-mad seal lions. The notoriously unpredictable mammals had a metal fence erected around them when they started mating on the pavement but they broke free & carried on in the middle of the road, before moving to the beach to keep their love affair going.

PETE: SEALS MATE AGAIN, DON'T KNOW WHERE, DON'T KNOW WHEN (2)
BBC: MR BLUBBER MAN (5)

December 10:  Father-of-two Scott Wilcock, from Wigan, has quit his job as a mechanic to become an artist - specialising in creating beautiful festive scenes by spraying fake snow onto windows.

PETE: LAST CHRISTMAS, I GAVE YOU MY ART (6)
BBC: PICASS-HO-HO-HO (5)

 

WEEK 50

December 13:  A brewery in Milwaukee is producing a festive beer using the spruce from the city's official Christmas tree. Part of the proceeds from Tree Spruce Ale, made by the Black Husky Brewery, is going towards the Milwaukee Urban Forestry Fund.

PETE: IT WAS ONLY A WINTER'S ALE (0)
BBC: SILENT PINT (2)

December 14:  Thousands of honeybees have astonished scientists by surviving an eruption of the Cumbre Vieja volcano, on the Canary Islands, by sealing themselves in their hives to weather the flow of lava.

PETE: AH-AH-AH-AH, STAYIN' A HIVE, STAYIN' A HIVE (2)
BBC: SWARM LIKE IT HOT (4)

December 15: A couple getting married in Raipur, India, made a spectacular entrance on a giant swing, only for the cable to snap and send them plummeting to the ground as fireworks went off. They suffered only minor injuries and were able to carry on with the ceremony.

PETE: TRAPEZEY LOVER (4)
BBC: IT DON’T MEAN NO RING IF YOU FALL OFF THAT SWING (4)

December 16:  A search is underway for Boris, a lovesick Siberian eagle owl, who's escaped from a bird of prey display team in Hampshire's New Forest. Owner Paul Miller believes the giant bird has gone off looking for a mate.

PETE: OWL YOU NEED IS LOVE (6)
BBC: HOOT TO TOOT (4)

December 17: A mum who hired a Grinch to make a bit of a mess at her son's party has been left fuming after he went too far. Laura Magill has taken to social media to complain that the Grinch impersonator trashed her house, broke Christmas decorations, threw cupcakes everywhere, smashed eggs on the floor, and covered kids in slime.

PETE: SHE'LL JUST HAVE TO GRINCH AND BEAR IT (7)
BBC: IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL SLIME OF THE YEAR (4)

 

WEEK 51

December 20:  An album made up of bird calls has made it into the top five of the Australian music charts, beating Christmas classics from the likes of Michael Bublé, Mariah Carey, Justin Bieber & Abba

PETE: TIT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS (0)
BBC: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS CUCKOO (2)

December 21:  A woman has revealed how her husband tried to suprise her by having their wedding anniversary tattooed on his arm in Roman numerals - only for him to get the wrong date. Ashley Carlevato says her hubby was supposed to have a tattoo of January 1, 2019, but he had January 11, 2019 instead.

PETE: I CAN'T HELP FAILING INK LOVE WITH YOU (2)
BBC:  TATT DON’T IMPRESS ME MUCH (4)

December 22:  A Chinese woman has broken the world record for owning the most snow globes. Wendy Suen, of Shanghai, has 4,238 snow globes and is running out of room to store them.

PETE: SNOWBODY DOES IT BETTER (4)
BBC: THERE’S SNOW BUSINESS LIKE GLOBE BUSINESS (4)