FOR reasons that need not concern us, the Grass Routes blog – www.mikeamosblog.wordpress.com – has been recalling celebrity visitors to the former Wheatsheaf football ground near Newcastle Airport.

One was Trevor Brooking, persuaded in April 1985 to play a Wearside League game for Newcastle Blue Star against Coundon TT for a fee said to be in the region of £500.

A more involuntary appearance was made in 2003 by Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy, required to scrub benches as part of the 120 hours community service imposed for thumping a nightclub toilet attendant.

Such skivvying did little for the lady’s immaculately manicured nails. “She was very polite but I don’t think very happy,” said Blue Star secretary Jim Anderson at the time.

Renamed Druid Park, the ground’s now home to West Allotment Celtic, whose chairman Jim Wilson reports that Declan Donnelly – “perhaps even more famous” – was a regular among last season’s Ebac Northern League crowds.

Oliver Martin, Dec’s nephew, plays for Celtic. “If his uncle comes much more often, he’ll get a game himself,” says Jim.

The blog’s only regret was that it hadn’t been a women’s team and that Dec was watching his mum’s younger sister, thus sustaining the header “Aunt and Dec.” It had to make do with “Aint and Dec” instead.

“Are you Mike Amos?” asks a bloke on the No 26 bus. “I haven’t seen you for nearly 40 years.”

The last time, it transpires, was Darlington v Mansfield, February 15 1981, 5,932 crowded to Feethams to watch the first Football League match to be played on a Sunday.

“I had the burger van round the back of Barker and Stonehouse,” our fellow traveller adds.

Threatened church protest failed to materialise, the Echo’s Monday morning front page reporting that the Quakers sold all 2,000 programmes – now £19.99 on eBay – and all 1,000 pies.

And burgers? “You asked me back then what sort of a day I’d had. I wouldn’t tell you,” reflects the van man.

The match ended 2-2, Darlington scoring through Alan Walsh and an Ian Hamilton penalty, the Daily Mail man so disappointed at the lack of Sabbatarian opposition that he threatened not to write a word and go home to watch Match of the Day instead.

“What do you mean,” said club secretary David Thorn, inarguably, “you’ve just seen it.”

When the teams met at Feethams two years later, the crowd was a paltry 952 – but by then the Quakers met on a Saturday.

Though ineluctable illness enforced his absence, former Darlington player Ian Larnach’s annual golf day raised £3,000.

“It went spiffingly well,” says Ian, a phrase which may last have been heard from one or other of the Famous Five.

The event was held at Bishop Auckland Gold Club, Sunderland FA Cup hero Mickey Horswill assuming control and 22 celebrity-led teams that included Pop Robson. “We had real celebrities this time,” Ian adds.

Proceeds will be split between St Cuthbert’s hospice in Durham and the Alzheimer’s Society, the golf club’s chosen charity. Ian, meanwhile, is through the latest chemo cycle and plans adventures with his MX5.

Addressing last Wednesday the lunch club at Startforth, near Barnard Castle, we bump into the Rev Peter Lind-Jackson, retired Vicar of Barney and stalwart of the Durham diocesan clergy cricket team.

Peter, recalls a 1997 match at Masham, against Bradford, at which the column prowled the boundary like the devil thy adversary, seeking whomsoever it might devour. It was St Boniface’s Day. Boniface being the patron saint of losers.

Durham began with just eight men, the satanical offer to help make up the numbers declined because the Church Times Cup is for ordained clergy only. Orders is orders.

They won – someone had to, even on St Boniface’s Day – helped by an extraordinary dismissal when a Bradford batsman stuck half a pad in front of a ball pitching a furlong outside and watched helplessly as it trickled back onto the stumps.

“Upon my soul,” said a Durham man.

“Bugger me,” said Bradford.

It was a lovely day.

The archive also offers a 1989 reference to the annual cricket match between St Mary’s church and the staff of Barney School. Peter’s people made 79-6, the teachers comfortably on 24-0 when rain compelled a draw. “I like to think the Almighty may have intervened,” said the vicar at the time. “This was the fourth annual match against the staff and the first time we haven’t lost.”

….and finally, last week’s column sought, ahead of England’s ongoing 1,000th test, the identity of the England cricketer who’s made most appearances, scored most runs and most often captained the side. It’s Alastair Cook, as Arnold Alton was first to realise.

Graham Phelps points out that Cook has the highest test score while carrying his bat – 244 on the last Ashes tour – and might have added that he’s also been caught behind more times than any batsman in test match history, 75 good nicks.

Amid the hoo-hah over Adil Rashid’s selection after “retiring” from the county championship, readers are today invited to name the last player to be capped by England without having played in the championship at all. As usual, a North-East connection.

We again open the innings next week.