Fostering - the job that changes lives

ELEVEN years ago, as a sevenyear-old little girl growing up in a disturbing environment, the outlook seemed bleak for Amber Boyd.

Suffering from neglect at home, Durham County Council took the rare decision to place Amber in foster care for her own safety… and her story has gone on to be an inspirational example of how fostering can change lives.

Amber was initially taken into short-term foster care before being moved to live with Beverley and Lesley Hindle in Wheatley Hill – and that’s where she found the stability of a loving family home.

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She has now been with Beverley and Lesley for ten years. She calls them her auntie and uncle, while their grandchildren are her ‘cousins’.

There is no doubt she feels part of their family.

“There was just a sense of belonging and there’s no doubt that it changed my life. Now I don’t think about it – this is my family and I’m part of it,” she says.

In the first year she was with the Hindles, they took Amber on her first holiday, to Portugal, and she began to experience the kind of fun that most children take for granted.

“It’s about going into a new family environment and feeling cared for and loved,” she says.

The move into foster care also had a huge impact on Amber’s education. She attended Wheatley Hill Primary School, then Wellfield Secondary, and was always given the support to work hard while also enjoying herself.

Now 18, Amber recently did well in her A-Levels and is starting at New College Durham to study for a social work degree.

“Seeing the importance of children being cared for made me want to be a social worker,” she says.

Alongside her ambition to join the care sector, Amber is also happy to support Durham County Council’s campaign to recruit more foster carers.

“There are a lot of children who need support, so it’s right to appeal to people to come forward because it makes such a massive difference,” she says.

The aim of the campaign is to ensure that there are sufficient carers to support the increased number of children looked after by Durham County Council. That number stood at 814 last month, with the North-East recording a 50 per cent rise since 2010, the biggest increase in the country.

Good foster carers are, therefore, cherished in County Durham and Deborah, whose surname can’t be revealed, fits the bill perfectly.

Indeed, such is her reputation for looking after children, she’s known as The Pied Piper in the village where she lives.

Deborah has been fostering for 11 years and has looked after nearly 40 children during that time.

One little boy came to her when he was two and still lives with her 11 years later.

Deborah’s always loved children, even when she was a child herself. Indeed, she had an early experience of the importance of care when she was a teenager and babysat a little boy whose mother was an alcoholic.

“He ended up spending most of his time with our family and that gave me an insight into some of the challenges children face,” she recalls.

Deborah went on to become a mum of four and grandmother of 11, but had separated from her husband by the time she began caring for other children. She’d gone to Catterick Market and passed a stall promoting fostering.

Her daughter took away some literature, read about children in need of care, and was moved to tears.

“We’ve got to do this,” she told her mum. Within days Deborah had contacted the county council to set out on the path to becoming a foster carer.

“The process is exhaustive,”

she says. “Background checks are made and you go in front of a panel but, ultimately, it’s worth it.

“You try to give these children a better start and hope they’ll take something from you on their journey through life.”

It’s the little things that lookedafter children often value most.

Years after Deborah had fostered one little boy, she saw him again and he told her what he remembered most about living with her was the nice smell of the towels and clothes.

“That’s the joy you get – when you see how small things like that have given so much pleasure and comfort to a child,” she explains.

“They are things that most of us take for granted, but many of these children have never had little luxuries, never been in a car, never been to a party.”

Deborah hopes the county council’s campaign to find more foster carers bears fruit but warns it’s not something that should be underestimated.

“There are so many children in need of help but it’s not all plain sailing,” she says. “Some children come with more problems than others. It’s not to be taken lightly but it’s incredibly rewarding to know you’ve made a difference.”

Being a foster carer runs in Deborah’s family because one of her own children, Lisa, has followed her example.

Having been inspired by her mum, Lisa, 38, has now been fostering for five years after a social worker told her she’d be wellequipped for the role.

“I’d had the benefit of seeing mum doing it and the experience of supporting her,” says Lisa, who has two children of her own.

“What I’d say to anyone thinking about doing it is never be afraid to ask for help because there’s always plenty of support if you need it. It will be the hardest job you’ve ever done but also the most important and most rewarding.”

One special moment came when Lisa cared for a two-year-old girl with special needs who’d had a terrible ordeal.

“To begin with she had a bubble round her, but after three days she touched my hand,” she recalls. “It broke my heart because she was reaching out and it was a sign of acceptance. All kids want is to be loved and have a sense that they belong somewhere.”

Paula Armstrong, who lives in Great Lumley, is a more recent convert to fostering, having spent 24 years in the Army.

She joined the Armed Forces when she was 18, working in logistics, and saw service in Iraq and Northern Ireland.

Now 46, Paula embarked on another tough role as a full-time foster carer last May.

Paula’s sister-in-law is a foster carer and Paula offered to provide respite care to these children on a few occasions before beginning her own fostering career by caring for a five-year-old boy and sevenyear-old girl on a six-week placement.

She’s now looking after a little boy who’ll be three this month.

“I just wanted to give something back to help children,” says Paula, whose husband Martin is director of a steel fabrication company.

“You hear of so many bad things happening to children who are not given a chance in life. There’s so much job satisfaction.These children are so resilient.

"They come to you maybe a little bit broken, and not really knowing what normal is, but then you see them thrive and grow in confidence.

“There’s no better feeling than seeing children succeed with little milestones that turn into something bigger.”