Brat Camp (C4)

Natural World: Big Sky Bears (BBC2)

WHO'D be a parent? Archie and Luke cause their mum lots of worry by getting up to all sorts of mischief - climbing trees, catching fish and eating ants.

But they're angels compared to the fresh intake at Brat Camp, a series that proves a very effective contraceptive. One look at these drunken, drugged-up, foul-mouthed teenage girls and you'll be put off having children for good.

Archie and Luke are cute little baby brown bears whose first year was chronicled in the Natural World documentary. They were unbearably cute as they wrestled and romped in a "land of adventure and danger" as the over-dramatic narrator called Montana's Rocky Mountains.

This spokesman was forever looking on the dark side, reminding us that the cubs - the size of a loaf of bread at three months - were in constant danger from coyotes, wolves, grizzlies and anything looking for a meal.

"With so many out to harm her young, no wonder mother can never rest," he said solemnly. Then later, after a coyote picked up the scent of mother and sons, "One mum can handle; if it's a pack, she's in trouble".

For goodness sake, lighten up Mr Narrator and soak up the glorious scenery and those cute cubs having fun, fun, fun.

Still, we all learnt something. Like the fact that a bear's sense of smell is seven times more acute than a bloodhound's or that 90 per cent of bear communication is by scent. They're a smelly lot are brown bears (who, confusingly, can be chocolate, cinnamon or even white). And yes, the old saying is true - bears do relieve themselves in the woods.

If you go down to the woods - the Utah wilderness, to be precise - in Brat Camp you'll find some very unhappy campers. Seven troublesome teens have been volunteered by their exasperated parents to attend an achievement camp.

Some 3,000 families applied for this latest series which doesn't say much for parenting skills today. If you can't keep your children under control, get a TV programme to do it for you, is the message.

The new intake are a despicable bunch specialising in drugs, drink and disrespect. They've punched, kicked and spat at their parents when they weren't playing truant, stealing, drug-dealing or throwing violent tantrums.

You'd think the formula would be wearing thin and becoming repetitive by now, but the latest brats are so objectionable that you long to see them suffer at the hands of the Aspen Achievement Camp team. Being stuck with Norman the softly-spoken Buddhist is enough to make anyone reform their ways in order to be on the first plane home.

The pleasure for the parents is getting rid of their children for a couple of months and for viewers, it's seeing unpleasant teenagers get their comeuppance stuck in the middle of nowhere without even a proper toilet. As you can see, not only bears relieve themselves in the woods.