CHILDREN have a special ability to be funny, simply by hearing words differently.

A dad I know called Dave was enjoying a word game with his two little girls at bathtime. The girls took it in turns to choose a letter, think of a fruit, vegetable or animal beginning with that letter, and their dad had to try and guess what it was by asking questions which could only be answered yes or no.

Four-year-old Tamara chose the letter D and thought of an animal. "Has it got four legs?" asked her dad. "Yes," replied Tamara.

"Mmm. Is it quite big?" "Yes."

The dad thought he'd guessed it: "Has it got a tail?" "Yes."

"I think it's a donkey," said the dad. "No it's not," replied Tamara.

Crushed by the disappointment, Dave ploughed on: "Is it even bigger than a donkey?" he asked. "Oh yes," agreed Tamara.

"It's a dinosaur," Dave whispered to Tamara's older sister Charlotte. He asked a last question, just to be sure: "Has it got a big, long neck?" "Yes," giggled Tamara.

"Is it a DINOSAUR?" "No," replied Tamara.

"No? Well what can be bigger than a dinosaur, beginning with D?" inquired her completely baffled dad.

"Do you give in?" she asked. "Yes," he conceded.

"It's a duraffe," smiled the little girl triumphantly.

And another example...

IT was more than 50 years ago, in the dark, fearful years of World War Two. A mother held her little boy's hand and took him to look at the giant barrage balloon soaring above Stockton-on-Tees. A soldier, only a boy himself, stood on sentry duty on the bridge, suitably armed with a rifle and bayonet. The child asked: "Mum, why has that soldier got a spiky thing on the end of his gun?" "That's called a bayonet," replied the mum. "He stands guard and when someone comes over the bridge, he says 'friend or foe?' If the answer is foe, he stabs him with his bayonet."

"Oh," said the boy. "What would he say to me because I'm foe and a half?"

. . .Some remarkable people have been encountered during the never-ending journey of the Dad At Large Roadshow. Jennie Bowron is a case in point. Jennie, who was in the audience when the roadshow visited The Swallow Hotel in Stockton for a meeting of The National Council of Women, is well known for running a flower shop in Stockton for many years. Well into her nineties now, she remains as bright as a poppy. She was the mum in the "friend or foe" story and her son was Tony Bowron, who has since died.

THE THINGS THEY SAY

"Dad, why would anyone say 'foe'?" My oldest son when I told him Jennie's story.

The new Dad At Large book is on sale at Ottaker's in Darlington and Northern Echo offices. It costs £5, with £1 going to the Butterwick Children's Hospice Appeal.

Published: Friday, October 26, 2001