MANY of the world's great superstars were playing golf, or something akin to it, in the Dunhill Links tournament in Scotland last weekend.

We can only assume that Irish icon Keith Wood turned down his invitation to hob-nob round St Andrews and Carnoustie in order to pursue his rugby dream.

Never mind the Lions victories he has savoured, the happy hooker felt the win against England was the greatest moment of his career.

There were apparently 10,000 fans at the match wearing Keith Wood masks and the man himself observed: "I don't know what they did to England, but they scared the hell out of me."

It was the prospect of defeat, not the masks, which frightened England. Not until defeat seemed inevitable did they recapture something of last season's form, and they might have snatched victory had Austin Healey not knocked on in the final attack.

"Triple Clowns" screamed one tabloid newspaper, referring to the fact that England had blown three successive Grand Slams.

This was a clever headline but a totally unsympathetic one as it ignored the fact that England lost to a very good Irish team, who had already played twice in recent weeks and had the backing of fans enthusiastic and daft enough to wear Keith Wood masks.

The result didn't surprise me. Most of the England players who went on the Lions tour are in danger of burn-out, which is why Wasps and Bath are propping up the Premiership.

England have the potential to win the next World Cup as long as the players arrive there in peak condition, and limiting them to 32 games a season is no guarantee of that.

WHETHER Hugh Grant and Michael Douglas arrived at St Andrews with their golf in peak condition we can't be sure. And do we care?

In the appalling conditions it was suggested Grant had never been so wet since he stood in the pouring rain and confessed his love to Andie McDowell in the closing scenes of Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Some people think Grant is permanently wet. I don't necessarily subscribe to that view, but I wouldn't cross the street to watch him play golf, and the Scottish public appear to have felt the same way.

Dunhill went for the pro-celebrity format because they resented paying six-figure appearance fees to the likes of Tiger Woods under the old three-man international teams arrangement.

They can't be blamed for that, but if they want to save a few bob why not bring some of the world's most under-privileged people to St Andrews, give them a quick crash course in golf, and send them out with the pros?

They wouldn't expect the same lavish treatment as the superstars and thrifty Scottish folk would be more likely to support them.

Come to think of it, they'd be more likely to support Sheena Easton brandishing a niblick than the unknown country and western singer from America whose handicap had to be queried after he shot a gross 72.

There was apparently quite a contrast between Dunhill's no-expense-spared attitude towards the stars and the penny-pinching when it came to looking after the support staff such as scorers.

The one good thing from the Scots' point of view was that one of their own, Paul Lawrie, won the event, proving that his Open win at Carnoustie was not a fluke after all.

ENGLAND'S cricketers have until today to decide whether or not to tour India. They might care to reflect on the fate of the Australian rugby squad, whose plane was struck by lightning just before landing at Heathrow last Sunday.

It reminded them that mishaps can occur anywhere at any time and helped to convince them that their decision to tour was the right one.

The six Chelsea chickens who declined to go to Tel Aviv reinforced the impression that there can be very little loyalty within a club which has no core of home-grown players.

There is a far better team spirit within the England cricket squad and hopefully only two or three of the senior members will decide they have to put their families first.

TWO suspicions raised here have proved well founded this week. Blind Date has won the battle with The Premiership for ITV's Saturday evening slot, and there will be no top-class ice hockey in the region this season.

In the former case it is reassuring that there are limits to turning football into a national obsession, and in the latter it is disturbing that a minority sport can be so shabbily treated.

For months there seems to be have been a strong element of "the cheque's in the post" from the people supposedly backing Newcastle Jesters.

Now they are promising to find others to take over the franchise. Don't hold your breath!